Hi
I think more I just need to talk about it, all my family and friends have been very supportive but now as its been 5 months on to them it’s all over now but to me it’s feels the heartache as it did when I found out.
I found out I was pregnant straight away must of only been a week, i only found out as I went to the Drs as I was bleeding a lot heavier then I’m used to, he told me I needed to go to hospital as it sounds like a miscarriage. After 4 long weeks of being messed about going to the hospital every other day for blood test scans and being told I had a miscarriage then I haven’t then it could be ectopic then my last visit my dr told me that everything seemed fine and my odds looked good. That feeling of relief!! me and my boyfriend have been trying for years and I always thought something was wrong with me but when I got that positive test and then at near the end to be told things looked good was amazing I so hoped to be a mum I have for a long time but my last scan they seen it was it was an ectopic a live ectopic 
the scan showed that I was 6 weeks and my tube was erupting so I had to go in theatre straight away 
After the opp I was in so much pain I thought i would have a little scar near my belly button but I had loads 4 in total and the biggest one is what I call a c section scar.
It took a while to recover and now it still hurts every now and again but to look at it it’s awful I also have an appendix scar there which was the reason why I had an ectopic as it cause scaring on my tubes.
Now I just feel so lost its been 5 months and I constantly think about what could of been how far I would be what we would be feeling it hurts so much and more so that it was alive I just don’t know how to let go as al I seem to do is get upset all the time.
I do want to try again just so scared it won’t happen for me or worse it will happen again just so lost im
Not myself at all anymore
Im so sorry you’ve been through this. I also felt the same and it’s perfectly normal, noone can tell you a time limit on how you should or shouldn’t feel. Me and my partner Have been trying for 5 years now, my first pregnancy was ectopic and recently just had a miscarriage. You only get stronger.
Just remember your allowed to feel how you do
Xx
Thank you <3 and thank you to take time to reply think you just need someone who has been there to chat to who knows what you have been though.
How have things worked out for you ? Xxx
Hi Kim,
How are you feeling today? I remember getting asked that and some days I’d be going crazy thinking ‘I can’t sum up how I feel in a few words as there is so much I’m feeling I want to scream!’ I had an ectopic removed along with a tube 5.5 weeks ago. Mine ruptured and I had surgery. I have 4 scars too. Three of them are small crosses and the big one low down on my tummy is about 2 inches long. I don’t find the scars too ugly as I feel it’s a sign that I survived. My disposable stitches are still there too so they do actually look ugly!
I’ve no idea how I’ll feel in the future but at the moment I feel I’ve turned a corner in my grief as I’ve had more good days than bad ones in the last 10 days. I think I’m taking it a few days at a time and then having a think about how those days felt, like what was good and what wasn’t. To help me get better I’ve talked to loads of people; my family, friends who have had a miscarriage, friends who haven’t, an early pregnancy support nurse and a counsellor. I’m going back to work on Monday, bit scary but I feel ready to try. I found that I felt better if I practised saying out loud certain phrases. Almost like admitting it happened. At the start I felt like I totally accepted the death of my baby as I felt I’d gone through the five stages of grief, I accepted that it had happened so why did I feel so sad? I think physically I had accepted it but emotionally I hadn’t. The hardest parts for me have been thinking that when the Drs told me it was life threatening, I started thinking about myself and I stopped thinking about my baby. I feel so selfish. It’s my job to look after my baby and if I wasn’t thinking about my baby then who would? And that meant no one was. Heart breaking but I’m getting to terms with the hard parts like that. I have no idea that in the future I might regress and be a total emotional wreck again. I’m trying not to be too tough on myself if this happens as it will be right for me. Are you being tough on yourself? There is no right or wrong for how long grief takes. If you can’t find someone you can talk to then you can use this forum hopefully?
My husband was great at talking to me at the start and then he stopped as he felt better. When the dr signed me off for another week I thought he was disappointed that I wasn’t over it already. It took me a while to pluck up the courage to ask him and I couldn’t of been more wrong. I was projecting my fear on to him. I thought he didn’t want to talk about it because he was done with it and fed up listening to me crying about the same thing again. He wasn’t. I’m glad I asked him. Maybe you could speak to someone to help you? I’m here if you need me, Sylvia X
I can’t believe how many woman go through this it’s strange but brings comfort to talk to people that have gone through the same. I’m so sorry and it only being 5 weeks ago has it all been a daze, just don’t rush to be back ‘normal’ I did and it just set me back as I did to much to soon and my stomach pains got worse.
How far was you if u don’t mind me asking ? I don’t think there is any right way of feeling and don’t ever feel bad for how u are. I think there is so many emotions going around there all taking a turn… Even though it hurts everytime i talk about it I feel slightly better strange but I don’t want to forget if you get me not like I can.
I’m so glad you have your husband there for you 
I’m always here if you need a girly chat though :).
I don’t like keep talking about it to my boyfriend as I think he has moved on where I haven’t at all.
I just worry now it will never happen again as we’re trying and it’s becoming abit of an obsession.
Wish you a speedy recovery and I hope you both are ok xxx