Hi, I am currently 3 weeks and a half week post surgery. On the 7th of September I went for a follow up scan after having some spotting 2 week prior. We found out the pregnancy was there but sadly in my left tube, I was rushed into a ward and prepped for surgery to remove baby and tube. We are both devastated we lost our baby, my Husband has been amazing and a total rock. I am having issues,how I should feel about losing our baby. I have so many emotions everyday! Sometimes I feel angry and want to scream, cry, worry over what happens next, just so mixed everyday. I also feel that as we already have a Daughter, I shouldn’t feel as bad as someone with out children. I also get the feeling that it’s a bit taboo to speak openly about it. This may just be all in my head and I’m over thinking it.
Sorry for the randomness of my post but just don’t know where else to put how I feel.
Hi it’s been around 5 months now since I suffered my extopic and still in finding it a struggle! I have a daughter 2 already and sometimes I find I snap at her, days I’m fine and some I’m not. But I suppose same good days mean surly things are getting better?! My partner has shit down on me or have I with him I’m just so confused on how to feel sometimes. I properly haven’t really helped u but this is my first time Iv signed up for support I feel I’m going on abit now sorry.
Hi, I’m sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel, it’s so tough dealing with the loss. I snap at my DD and then feel awful as it’s not her fault. I give her a big cuddle and tell her i’m sorry and love her. I am lucky to have a supportive hubby, family and friends. I have a few friends who have lost babies so they have been a great help with advice for both of us. It’s nice to speak to people who have been though the loss of a baby even if it wasn’t ectopic. I have joined the ectopic pregnancy trust closed facebook group, it helps to see what others are going though and makes you feel less alone and understand what we are feeling is ‘normal’ Please feel free to message me if you just want a rant i totally get it!! x
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss and how you are feeling. If it helps to hear, it is very normal to feel like you do after the shock of an ectopic pregnancy. It is a particularly devastating type of pregnancy loss because as well as losing the baby, we have been through the shock of needing very scary, urgent medical treatment. It makes you question and worry about not just your fertility but also your mortality. I know my ectopic pregnancy made me question everything. It is such an emotional roller-coaster and often brings up previous losses and grief we have been through.
There is no “right” way to feel after the experience and there’s no “right” way to cope with it. Most of us have found that, through time and through talking to people we trust, we have slowly come to terms with the emotions we have felt. If there is someone you can talk to openly, and just have them listen, please please do keep talking. If you don’t have anyone close to you, please explore speaking to your GP (who should be able to give you details about counselling too). You are always welcome to post on these boards. The Main Board tends to get read more often by women, so you may find you get more responses to any posts there.
Hi Beth, Thank you for your response. We are trying to get some sort of closure, we have contacted PALS at our local hospital to see if we can arrange a meeting with the surgeon. We have so many questions to ask, as it all happened so quickly. I am thinking of making a memorial page for the scrap book i am working on, hoping to get a scan photo if the hospital allow me have a copy.
I hope you are able to get help from PALS - sometimes it helps to be insistent and pushy even when we feel like we don’t have the strength so keep asking questions until you have the answers you need. Keep us updated and feel free to ask any questions here.
I too suffered an ectopic pregnancy at the end of last July, though I was able to be treated with Mtx. I already have a Son who is 3 and I completely get where you are coming from that it’s maybe taboo to talk about it but I still feel the loss. I keep punishing myself because the age gap would have been perfect and it was my body that failed me. I feel like I could have written your post with how I feel about it all.
I feel like I could have written your post with how I feel about it all.