I’m just wondering how people get over the fear of trying again after an ectopic pregnancy. I had an ectopic 3 months ago, with removal of my left tube. It was my first pregnancy.
At the time the doctors said the remaining tube looked healthy and I’ve just had a scan to check my ovaries as I also had a couple of big cysts removed and they said everything looks really normal so that’s good news.
My husband and I are just starting to talk about trying again, but I just don’t know when I will ever feel brave enough! - the thought of that happening again is just so scary and I just don’t know how I will begin to overcome that fear… I’m 34 so no spring chicken and know it could take a while to get pregnant again, so we should get going with it! but I suppose my biggest fear is that I would get pregnant again really quickly and it would turn out to be another ectopic…
I have this same fear. I had my second ectopic pregnancy this Christmas and lost my left tube. The first was self-resolving and they never identified where it was. I think it was in the left tube also as I remember feeling left-sided ovulation pain that cycle but I’ll never know for sure. During the lap they said my right tube looked healthy but I am so scared this will happen again.
On a positive note though, I did have a healthy pregnancy between these two ectopics (fairly certain I released an egg from the right side) so I suppose I should be comforted by that, but at the moment I am pretty terrified. Sorry I wish I had an answer for you, just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling the fear!
I can really relate to both of you, I was very afraid, especially coming home from hospital after my surgery. The emotional roller coaster (to use a cliché) was just so stressful!
We waited the advised 3 months and then started trying, but just cautiously and with no medical help, until we got our minds a little sorted.
In my opinion my age (similar to yours) was the biggest factor which caused hubby and I to start again, as the thought of being childless for even longer was so upsetting. In the end it just came down to our age and the need to get going without delay! It was hard at first, but I have found that pain eases a little over time.
Wait until you’re ready though, trust your instincts, and if you feel to wait a little longer then so be it. You’ll know when the time is right, Have a little faith in yourself!
I’m with you all on this one. My EP was sept and I have felt scared too but I’m going to be 34 this year.
The way I’ve tried to think about it is that unless we try I’ll never know. I had my left tube removed but they said the other one was healthy. I’m scared that it’ll happen again and that’ll be it, no more tubes. Perhaps it will turn out like that but there’s probably a greater chance it won’t. But I know one thing for sure - I def won’t have a baby if we don’t try. I know it sound obvious, but that’s what I’m trying to think.
Have you talked to your husband about how scared you feel? Maybe that might help too as he might know the kinds of things that would reassure you.
Thanks so much for your replies, it really helps to know that I am not alone in feeling like this!
I know the chances are that it would be ok next time and if we don’t try we will never know, my other half is amazing and knows exactly how I feel and says we shouldn’t try until I am ready. I know we will try again at some point as the thought of never having a baby is more upsetting than the worry of this happening again - I just wish it didn’t have to be so stressful now!
I’m three weeks post-mtx and pretty much all I think about is whether or not I’m going to be brave enough to try again in a few months. How do you find the courage to risk going through it all again?! I don’t know.
We don’t have any kids, and I, too, am 34 - so I don’t have the luxury of too much thinking time. Sometimes I feel really gung-ho about it and just want to get on with ttc again, and then other times I can’t think of anything worse, and I believe I could be quite content being childfree.
My husband is very supportive, but I would feel horribly, horribly guilty saying to him that I wasn’t willing to put myself through another EP and didn’t want to try again. And I think my Mum would be heartbroken not to be a Grandmother.
It all feels like too much pressure sometimes as I have other people to consider, but on the other hand, they’re not the one that has to go through it :?