Hello, I have only just joined this site and found it really useful so far. I’ve been feeling quite emotiinal lately and thought it mm ay help to talk to people who undrstand what has happened.
I was diagnosed with an Eptopic Pregnancy in August and had surgery to remove it and my left tube as it had ruptured. Although we hadn’t been trying long and I knew things were not right from early on, I am finding the loss hard to deal with and like many people have said, I keep thinking about how far along I would have been now. My best friend has just found out she is pregnant and I am genuinely happy for her but it does make me so sad to know that we would have been due within a month of each other.
The doctor told us to wait 2 full cycles before trying again, which means that we can go ahead next month. The problem is that, as much as I want a baby, I am so scared of trying again in case it doesn’t happen or something goes wrong again. I feel so anxious and I really don’t want to be like this. I believe that trying for a baby should be a fun and enjoyable time, and just wish I could feel more positive. My husband is very supportive and knows what my fears are and has tried to help me not to worry but I just cant help it. I know that being negative before we even start trying again is notngoing to do any good but I can’t seem to shift the worries.
Did anyone else feel this way when trying again and have any advice?
Hi Hbelles,
So sorry for your loss. It’s still early days for you and I would say take as much time as you need before trying again. You need to be strong both mentally and emotionally as well as physically before trying again as, I hate to say this but, you need to be ready for what ever happens. There is some fab info on this site regarding trying again, the risks of a repeat and risks of miscarraige which is not related to ectopics but unfortunately can happen anyway. If you find it difficult to cope you may consider counselling. I did and it helped enormously.
For me my desire to have a baby is stronger than my fear to try again. That said it’s been over six months since my EP and time does help. It’s great that your partner is supportive. Share as much as you can with him to help him realise how you feel.
I know how it feels regarding other pregnant ladies. I’ve had three get pregnant at work the same time I was with the EP. It’s been sooo hard seeing them progress. They know what happened to me and respect my need for distance from them.
When you are feeling up to it join us on the TTC thread on here. We’ve all been through it and are here to help each other out. Remember that when you do get pregnant again your doctor will follow you closely with early ultrasound scans etc to make sure things are progressing as they should.
Best wishes and take each day as it comes.
Hello HBelles, <3
First and foremost sending you a huge hug and big love xx
That must have been a horrible experience to go through, glad you are able to talk about it though its always good to share advice, and experience.
I had my right tube removed two weeks ago due to a five week rupture, and a miscarriage earlier in the year, so I understand what you mean when you say it is hard and you want to start trying again right away, I did it right after my miscarriage and now im desperate for a baby again two weeks after surgery.
Also totally with you on trying to be glad for your friend. My partners brothers about to have a baby and it just seems everywhere I go its babies, babies, babies everywhere. and it makes you feel so horrible inside. I do sympathise greatly with you my sweet. xxx
I’ve been also doing a lot of research now that I have only one tube and many ladies I’ve seen have had healthy successful pregnancies, some even have about five children. x
I know it’s frustrating but be very kind to yourself at this time, I hope you are getting lots of love and support from the people around you. You are an amazing woman to have gone through so much and be able to talk openly about it.
In regards to trying again, my doctor has advised a year to be safe but you can visit your GP to have a check-up and talk about when would be a good time to try again. This also gives you a date to look forward to when you do try again. xx
In the meantime focus on you, find a hobby perhaps (I have started singing) anything to keep your mind at peace, and remember to love yourself
sending well wishes to you for the future
xxxxx 
xxxxxx