Afraid of trying

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
1

Hello,

Hope you are well!

I discovered ectopic pregnancy last December as I was continuously suffering from ab pain and ended up on the emergency room to find out I was 8 weeks pregnant after excruciating pain. Had my right tube removed.

I was preparing to try at that point, it happened only one month from when I quit pills.

Now it’s been almost 10 months from the occured and I wish very bad to get pregnant, but I have been feeling scared, specially after I had a hysterosalpingogram and it showed I have the left tube Placed more upwards than it should.

My gynecologist told me there is a chance I can have another ectopic or just don’t get pregnant at all, but I should try. I am taking vitamin pills and just had my period, but I am scared as hell to try. I got so sad when it happened, I am now afraid of what will happen.

I wonder if it would make sense just to jump into choosing fertilization.

What do you think?

Thanks for “hearing”! Wish you the best!

Xo,

T.

2

T,

I am sorry you are feeling scared and upset. These things are so complicated—for lack of finding any better descriptor—and I am sorry you are experiencing the everlasting complications.

I think it is completely normal to be scared. I had my left tube removed less than three weeks ago, and as much as I want to try in the future, that small statistic that I could endure the same thing also scares the “heck” out of me!

I am not sure what I would do in your position regarding how to go about conceiving. I think it is important to trust yourself and your instincts. Also, as a friendly reminder from another woman, remember to be kind, gentle, and patient with yourself.

I hope this finds you well. :heart:

K

3

Dear T,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget our babies, but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us.

Sending much love,

Karen x

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Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

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