Ruptured Ectopic- emergency surgery

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1

This is the only forum on this topic I’ve been able to find… I’ve been looking for somewhere that I can talk to different women who have gone through this… as much as family, friends, and husbands are there for us I feel like sometimes it’s just easier to talk with people who have experienced and gone through the same thing.

I’m 21 years old… last Thursday I experienced a sudden and sharp pain in my abdomen and I had no idea what it was… at first my husband thought my appendix had burst but I didn’t think so. I didn’t know what was wrong with me as I felt perfectly fine even 5 minutes before the pain started. As I was googling my symptoms it continuously said ectopic pregnancy I thought to myself there’s no way, I’m not pregnant… zero pregnancy symptoms, had my period at my normal time, normal length, flow, everything was normal. my husband ran to Walgreens and grabbed a hot pad, Gatorade, and some pain pills for me and I called him while he was there to grab a pregnancy test too… I knew I couldn’t be pregnant but what’s the harm in just making sure was my logic. I kept feeling worse and worse and worse eventually everytine I stood up I started sweating profusely, my ears started ringing, vision went black and I couldn’t walk in a straight line. I took one of the tests and I was so out of it that I peed all over the stick and it didn’t even work. I laid down and fell asleep hoping I’d feel a little better in an hour or so. Wrong, I woke up feeling 10x worse. I couldn’t stand for more than 30 seconds without falling over. I stumbled to the bathroom and took the test… positive. As soon as I saw the two lines I told my husband we need to go to the hospital now.

at the ER I lost consciousness on the parking lot ground and woke up to my husband holding my head and a nurse running to me… they brought me inside and took my blood, gave me iv’s, and took me for an ultrasound where I lost consciousness again. I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy… I honestly don’t even remember everything that happened s during this time because it all happened so quickly. They started giving me blood and took me into emergency surgery.

I had a laparoscopic salpingectomy since my Fallopian tube was ruptured, they removed the entire tube. I was also internally bleeding the entire time and had no idea… I lost 3 liters of blood (Incase you don’t know… the human body holds 5…) and I was given a blood transfusion as well.

That’s the short, don’t leave any details out version of my story. If I would have waited as little as 30 minutes to go I probably would have died…

though I do feel like my story is different than others… I feel like everyone has been treating me as if I had a miscarriage and that I should be emotional about losing a baby and I’m not… my thing is that I didn’t even know I was pregnant and as soon as I found out I was dying in the hospital 30 minutes later… in my eyes I really never was pregnant. What I am emotional about and what I honestly think i am traumatized over is how I almost died. To have a nurse tell you that you lost over half of your blood supply is traumatic and I hate that I basically just have to continue life as normal now and wake up in the morning and act like this never happened to me when I still think about it all day long. at first I thought I was okay and then 2 days after being discharged from the hospital I started just crying at random things for no reason… or thinking about what happened to me and I start crying. Has anyone had an experience similar to mine?

I don’t want to come across as cold by saying I’m not upset about losing a baby… like I said as soon as I found out I was in the hospital 30 minutes later… I honestly feel as if I have some sort of trauma from the entire experience and to be honest I’m scared to even get pregnant again because of what happened! It sucks and I hate that I have to go about my days now as if a week ago I didn’t almost die.

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Hello! I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through - your experience sounds so horrific, but you have been so brave. My experience was completely the opposite - just some light bleeding for 12 days (old blood, light spotting), accompanied by fresher blood last Friday which is what made me speak to the GP to get it checked out. No pain, none of the typical ectopic pregnancy symptoms, but was referred

by Dr to EPU 3 days later, who picked up a growing pregnancy on my left tube (2cm), and told me I was essentially a ticking time bomb and they had to remove it immediately.

Anyway, I think it’s really important you speak to someone about your experiences - what about counselling? I think with such a traumatic ordeal like yours it is important to be able to deal with your PTSD so that you’re able to cope with every day life without the fear of it happening again.

I think we have to remember that what happened to us was quite rare and very unlucky, and 90% of pregnancies next time round tend to implant in the right place (which sounds like good odds to me!) X

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Dear Victorialexi,

The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe and it is very normal to feel overwhelmed. From your words, I can imagine how frightening the experience must have been and I am sorry you have had to go though this.

I completely understand you feeling overwhelmed from the shock and surgery. It is not cold to not be upset by the loss of your baby, as you mention, you barely knew you were pregnant so this is again understandable. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes. Be kind to yourself and allow time to recover both physically and emotionally.

After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. Whilst your feelings are completely normal at this stage, if you feel the down days start to outweigh the good we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

Although well meaning, my friends and family didn’t truly understand how I felt either. Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

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Hi,

You’ve certainly been through a tough time. I felt like you after my tube ruptured, like I was just happy to be alive and not concerned about the embryo. I knew it wasn’t a viable pregnancy and wasnt sad. However after the second tube was removed I felt completely different and felt sad, struggled with losing a baby which is odd as they were the same gestation. You may find you have ptsd from the trauma of your experience, speak with your doctor and try to find a good therapist to talk to it about. A perinatal therapist maybe a good option as they specialise In this area. X

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Hi Victorialexi,

I just want to say I hear you, I can really relate to how you’re feeling. I had a ruptured ectopic just over a year ago. Right now feeling how youre feeling is i think quite normal. Your head is probably trying to catch up with what’s happened to you, I felt the same. Right now you’ve got to deal with the fact you nearly lost your life, this is a massive thing. Unfortunately people sometimes dont really truly understand the trauma attached to this. Allowing yourself time, being really kind to yourself - try doing things that make you feel relaxed.

A year on I have gone through a range of emotions, initially like you it was trying to get my head around what had just happened to me…it wasnt about the loss of a baby…I only knew for a few days before.

Give yourself time to process it, it takes time…try and take each day as it comes. Talk about how you’re feeling, the support line on here is good. The problem is we have no idea how to react as this is such a strange feeling, I have been to see a therapist which has helped.

Sending you hugs, I just wanted to reach out as I know how painful it is and what you’re going through…it will get better I promise with time. It’s a journey and there will be bumps along the way…but a journey that will.help you heal.

Sophie x

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Hi victorialexi and all the other ladies who have shared your experience,

I went through something similar five days ago. No idea I was pregnant, taken to hospital after becoming unwell with abdo pain and then ended up having emergency surgery to remove the pregnancy and a tube. Similarly I’m told I lost 3 litres of blood. I’m still trying to get my head around how seriously unwell I was, and like you Victoria, I don’t yet feel sad about the loss of a baby as I’m just glad to be alive. That may come though.

I was wondering how long it took for you to start to feel physically better? I’m suffering with the after effects of the blood loss mostly I think. Due to the anaemia I also feel pretty detached, which doesn’t help with processing the events. I hope you all managed to heal physically and access the support that you needed anyway.

Katy x

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My experience was very similar too, though I didn’t know I was pregnant till I was already in hospital. Mine was in June 2019 and I’m still not over the fact I’d have died without intervention, seems so strange your body would do that to you… I was anaemic for what felt like forever and I just started to accept it as part of my personality at one point but of course it goes eventually. Don’t try and do too much to start with as it’s the days after that would pay the price. Best of luck with your recovery.

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Hi

Our experiences sound so similar, main difference being I think that I did know I was pregnant. I totally feel the same in terms of the trauma. I’m really anxious, have had flashbacks about the moment i got rushed into surgery having been resuscitated. I just thought I was going to die, I lost 3 litres of blood too.

I feel like there are so.many things to work through in my mind. I can’t grieve my loss until I have dealt with what I think is some sort of PTSD about the experience in the hospital.

I hope it helps to know we have a similar story. When was your surgery? Mine was this Tues just gone.

Sarah x

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I completely understand you. My experience was a bit different. My pregnancy was planned and I was being monitored due to light spotting for two weeks before ectopic was finally confirmed and treated by surgery. However, as I didn’t have any red flag symptoms and ectopic seemed to be unlikely, I feel that my body betreated me and have been dealing with terrible anxiety since then. For a long time my feelings were focused on myself and coping with my own mortality that suddenly stopped to be just an abstract idea. Now, after over one year, I’ve started grieving my lost pregnancy and life that we could have had.

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It’s so sad to hear that so many people have had similar experiences but I’m also finding it kind of comforting. I don’t know about anyone else but I’ve found it pretty lonely. My collapse and subsequent surgery happened on Nov 11th and due to Covid my husband had to send me off in an ambulance at midday, then I wasn’t able to speak with him until that evening. I’ve obviously told him what happened and he’s very understanding but I still feel pretty alone with it.

The response from friends and family has mainly focused on recovery from surgery with little acknowledgement of the loss of a baby or the trauma associated with the collapse and being so unwell. Paulina your comment about coming into contact with your own mortality really struck a chord and I just wish others could understand that. And Sarah I’m struggling to process it too, with so much to get my head around. I guess for both of us the events were so recent that it will take some time.

Calty your advice of not trying to do too much and expecting the anaemia to be around for a while was really helpful. I’ve found followup/advice post discharge has been really limited so it’s hard to know what to expect. I’ve already pushed myself too much I think and ended up more tired and with an infected incision scar. It’s just hard to know what to do for the best and how to get back to some kind of normal.

Katy x

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I am so sorry to hear all your stories :disappointed_relieved: first of all I wish all of you well and hope that everyone eventually does feel better!

And not meant in a cruel way at all but it is good to know there are more women going through all these feelings after what happened to us. As no one else fully understands?

I am just over a week after my surgery to remove my ruptured tube. It was monitored for 2 weeks conservatively so I knew it wouldn’t survive but did still end up at A&E in the weekend due to sudden high pains and had the emergency surgery. Besides recovering from this it is adding up to the fact that in the last 12 months I already had 2 early miscarriages (potential early resolving ectopics) and a confirmed ectopic in March in my other tube which was treated conservatively. Which is really impacting my future to get pregnant now. So all those emotions and thoughts are going through in my head on top of recovering from still ending up with emergency surgery. I feel initially everyone is really shocked and helpful but even a week after you get the feeling you should just bounce back and go back to work etc and I am just not sure if I can mentally?

How are you ladies dealing with this? I am a physiotherapist so partly is a manual job and it is demanding and stressful enough in these covid times and currently just not sure how much time off to give myself? I am set to go back to work next week after 2 weeks off since surgery and the idea of extending my sick leave I feel is being tutted upon by other people? Getting reactions like it will do you good some routine or that I am now just dragging things out to be off work longer for no reason? And it really makes me doubt about what is normal? Am I taking to long to wrap my head around things? Is just sitting at home helpful or not? I just don’t know as it is so hard for people to understand what is going on in your head?

Did any of you take the step to find some counselling? There are some horrible experiences written in this topic and even worse than mine I feel. I hope we can help each other reach some sort of normal again!

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Rietj88 I’m so sorry to hear what happened to you. What with your previous losses this must just compound everything. Plus the trauma of the incident and treatment. I really identify with a lot of what you’re describing, so it doesn’t feel unusual to me.

I really do know what you mean about the pressure to return to normal. I also feel like some people just glaze over when I say once again that I don’t feel much better or I’m still suffering badly with anaemia. I guess it is a hard thing to understand unless you’ve been through it. I also wonder how aware people are or the emotional impact of fertility issues, miscarriages and eptopic pregnancies. We struggled with unexplained infertility for years, had IVF and we’re incredibly lucky to have our daughter and then had the eptopic so it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. It has been a huge reassurance that we already have a daughter, but I do remember the painful emotions associated with infertility and not knowing whether we would ever have a child. For me it was the most difficult time in my life. We accessed counselling through fertility services during that period and that really did help.

From what I’ve heard it will take a while to process the trauma of an eptopic pregnancy, it’s treatment, and to manage the anxiety around the chances of it happening again. I’ve been told that it can take quite some time for these feelings to resolve and sometimes getting support can help. I’ve requested a re-referral now to the same counsellor. I wrote down a narrative of the events but I’ve also asked if a nurse or medic in A&E can review my notes with me to fill in the gaps to help me process the events. You could see if there was anyone attached to fertility or obs and gynea in general for support? Or a counsellor through your GP…although someone with specialist knowledge might be more helpful. PALS might be able to arrange a similar meeting to the one I mentioned above if you’d find that helpful too.

So following surgery my sick note was for 4 weeks. I was told that physical recovery can take anywhere between 2-6 weeks and I was advised not to lift for at least 2 weeks, and not to return to anything strenuous or high impact until at least 4 weeks post surgery. I therefore wonder how able you will be to return to such a physical job after 2 weeks and whether it’s worth talking to your manager or OH, or even asking your GP for another sick note. I would really not have been ready to return at 2 weeks, so I hope that reassures you that you’re not dragging your feet. I do understand what you say about it being unhelpful to sit at home; my supervisor was clear with me though that if I was returning to distract myself then that probably wasn’t a healthy way of coping and may hinder recovery. She encouraged me to set a routine at home instead to occupy myself. You don’t mention whether you are struggling with tiredness. I am due to the blood loss, so there is also something about pacing, planning and proritising what activities. If work wipes you out and means you can’t do anything at home or things that will help you recover then it’s probably better that you spend some more time recovering or plan a phased return.

So I should explain that I also work for the nhs. Luckily I’m managed by a clinical psychologist who is well aware of he emotional impact that this will likely have for some time to come, so she has put in place a phased return to work plan with me. I’ve had 3 weeks off and plan to return next week, working remotely, for 10hrs, then 18hrs the following week (I usually work 22.5). I’m pretty sure policies are similar between health boards/trusts. Our policy states that everyone is entitled to 2 weeks phased return, with 4 weeks at managers discretion. There’s something in there about agreeing tasks for this phase and beyond. So for me I have said that I just don’t feel up to having an ongoing caseload as most of our patients have trauma related to medical events or they are highly distressed, which I don’t feel able to manage right now. There’s also your reg to think about; if you don’t feel competent to do your usual duties for whatever reason it’s worth highlighting it to your supervisor or OH.

Our policy also states that if at any point during the phased return you cannot cope or feel that you’ve returned too early then you can reduce your hours or go back off sick. This would count as the same period or sick leave.

I hope the above makes sense. If you want me to talk through in anymore detail what I’ve got put in place with work or how phased returns work, or even just chat then feel free to email me on katwelsh@hotmail.com.

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Not much to add but sympathy and that weird sense of community.

My pregnancy was planned and we weren’t trying for long at all, but I only had a week between finding out I was pregnant and finding out it was ectopic, and I also find myself letting go of the idea of the embryo very easily - the worst part for me is not knowing whether it’ll happen again (I have a fibroid and I don’t know if it was part of the reason for my ectopic), and having to wait to try again. I just want to know if it’ll ever happen for me, you know? And of course no one can tell the future, so it’s frustrating, and also no one’s fault. I never appreciated until now how much courage it takes to try again after something like this.

I was lucky that my experience wasn’t as traumatic as most (it was caught very early) and I’m so sorry for you all. Socially distanced hugs for all <3 Look after yourselves and be kind to yourselves.

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Hi all, this is my first time writing on here. I feel very similar, my situation was very similar however I knew I was 4 weeks 3 days pregnant. I woke with pain, rushed to hospital, transferred to another hospital, scanned, straight in for op. Removal of tube as it had ruptured, blood transfusions etc.

I too also felt like a miscarriage (as awful as that sounds) would have maybe been a better option, the eptopic was so traumatic and to do it alone because of covid. I’m now 2.5 weeks after the op and I feel like everyone has gone back to normal. By everyone I mean my family and husband, I feel it only happened to me, they say 6 weeks recovery and actually you’ve done 2.5 weeks now so get on with it. I have a just turned 3 year old who I had avoided lifting for 2.5 weeks but now started lifting because quite frankly I feel mums can’t be ill, can’t rest, just carry on with it, get on with it and are needed else where. I feel I’m putting how I feel, lack of sleep & my discomfort physically to the side now, the back of my head & life just has to go back to normal. I’m exhausted, stressed, emotional, still in discomfort. I’m worried about causing future damage, I’m worried if you can almost die without knowing anything was going on, then what’s your say it doesn’t happen again.

Such a long story, but my husband has been off work for 3 months due to a knee op, I worked full time from home, looked after my son, did all the house work, cooking, etc, plus looking after him. Now the shoe is on the other foot I feel guilty for letting down work, my son and my husband doing it all. He’s done some housework but 10 days after the op I was cleaning the bathroom, hoovering etc. It’s not like me to not be independent and sit still.

Yesterday my husband said when I woke up from a nap ‘how you feeling’ I said ‘rough’, he said it’s concerning you are still feeling rough after 2.5 weeks of recovery so if it continues you need to see someone. After that comment I’ve started getting on with life as normal. I won’t tell him if I’m feeling low, emotionally or physically. I’ve started lifting my 3 year old, I’ve started cooking again and house work etc. I just don’t feel a mum can be ‘ill’, ask for help or need time. We just have to lump it, get on with it and continue as normal, putting our feelings aside.

I still can’t believe this happened to me. I nearly died 2.5 weeks ago and because everyone else has moved on, I should too. It’s frustrating that I’m feeling this way and I’m worried about the next few weeks of recovery that I’ll be dealing with alone.

I am devastated over losing my baby and devastated I nearly died and now devastated that I can’t even recovery from it.

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Dear ladies,

This is such a beautiful thread. The support you have for each other is amazing which is why I’ve not posted.

I just wanted to post about recovery and returning to work. To gently remind you that in a short space of time, you have had to deal with the emotional impact of a life threatening emergency, loosing your baby and experience abdominal surgery.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task.

You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

You should not be pressured by anybody to return to work before you are ready. Surgery is an immense ordeal for the body to go through. In general, after about six weeks you should be able to return to most jobs from a physical point of view. However, if your role involves manual handling, we suggest that it would be sensible to have a phased approach, gently building up to the usual extent of activity. I would suggest avoiding a rapid return to strenuous activities as it is important to build up strength after recovery.

A few options may be available depending on your role: might there be an opportunity to work reduced hours, increasing them slowly over a few weeks? Perhaps there are certain tasks that you could take on which may entail a change from your usual role or a series of reduced tasks initially? I am not sure whether this is appropriate in your circumstances, but is there anything that you could action from home (which may be different from your usual role but still be of use)?

Many women experience pain after surgery and this can be the case weeks or months after the trauma. Pain is the body’s sign to rest and it is important to be guided by this and taking it easier if you experience discomfort.

In addition, it is worth bearing in mind that experiencing ectopic pregnancy is a very frightening experience and many women need to take time to help them deal with the psychological/emotional impact of the loss of their baby, being diagnosed with a life-threatening condition and undergoing major surgery. I urge you to please speak to your GP about having further time off work if required.

With regards to emotional recovery, everything that you are describing is absolutely normal in this early stage. It can take some of us months to feel less raw and this is completely normal.

If you down days start to outweigh the good, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling.

We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support, the support you are giving each other is truly amazing and we will also be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending you all much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

16

Been there, not a club I want to be a part of, but feel like I can definitely give some advice.

Almost the same thing happened to me. Started throwing up randomly at work, next thing you know I’m passed out on the bathroom floor, not being able to sit up without passing out with some really sexy ambulance dudes huddled around me. I was 7 weeks and because the pregnancy never settled in the right place I had no symptoms and no idea until that moment. Went to the hospital, 3 blood transfusions and laparotomy. Having a c-section scar and no baby sucks so much, but they had to do it to save my life. At that time I was just happy to be alive. That’s what got me through surgery recovery. I went back to work part time after 7 weeks and that’s when it hit me that I was not alright and I was past the point of just being happy I survived. It took awhile to process everything. It has been a year, and some days it is still a process and I debate going to find a counsellor. COVID helped by giving me time to work from home and take more time for myself. Finding this trust online (I could not find any Canadian resources!) really helped. Talking to friends who had miscarriages was helpful even though they didnt really understand.

I think I have finally come to a point of acceptance. I can talk about what happened to me without crying. I realise that some days will be mentally hard and it okay to detach and distract myself for the day. I’m almost ready to try again. I know that most people go one to have successful pregnancies and early monitoring means that even if I have another ectopic and can be caught early and most likely treated with meds. I’m more prepared now and bought a stash of pregnancy tests just for when I’m feeling paranoid. I’m trying to use what happened to me to help others now and be hopeful about the future.