Confused after unplanned ectopic pregnancy

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1

Okay so I feel a bit weird posting on here but I’m struggling to find much out there from people with similar experiences to me…

So I’m a week out from having surgery to remove my ectopic pregnancy and right fallopian tube and I’m not 100% sure how I feel or if it’s even really hit me yet.

It was all a bit of a whirlwind. One day I started having awful stomach pain and then I passed out, so my husband called 999 and I went to hospital. They kept asking me if I could be pregnant and I said no because I honestly didn’t think I was - about a month prior we’d had an incident with a split condom, but I took the morning after pill about 6 hours later, and then 2 weeks later got what I assumed was my normal period, so didn’t think there was any chance I could be pregnant. Fast-forward a few hours later in A&E and they told me I was pregnant, but because of my stomach pain they were concerned I could be miscarrying. I had to go back and forth for blood tests and scans for a few days, and after a week they finally diagnosed me as having an ectopic pregnancy and then I had surgery the next day which resulted in them removing my right fallopian tube.

I honestly have no idea how I feel. I mostly feel fine, but kind of a bit numb to it? It’s weird, because when I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t even know if I was going to keep the baby, because although me and my husband are desperate to start a family, we’re not really financially stable enough to have a baby. It’s all been a bit chaotic and mostly I’m just tired and also scared that when I do want to get pregnant in the future, I either won’t be able to or else this will happen again.

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for - I think mostly just reassurance that it’s normal for me to feel like this. Everything I read from other people seems to focus on how sad they were to lose a pregnancy they knew about, but for me, I didn’t even know i was pregnant and then didn’t even know if I’d keep it, so I feel conflicted.

2

I have a similar story. Last November I took the morning after pill 2 days after unprotected sex, got my period on time and thought nothing of it. After being on my period for more than 10 days I went to the doctor and found out I was pregnant, they sent me to the emergency room because of the bleeding. I ended up having a ruptured tube and needed emergency surgery. Now I am trying to get to pregnant, have been trying since March with no luck. Starting to worry but a lot of information I read says to try for a Year before consulting a doctor about it? I dunno

3

Dear oawright1,

We hear from many ladies who have experienced ectopic pregnancy from an unplanned pregnancy, but it does not make the ordeal of surgery or recovery any easier.

Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

Take the time to heal both physically and emotionally and we will be here for you for as long as you need.

Regarding TTC, Rcott715, The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years. Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

4

Hello,

I had an unplanned ectopic pregnancy earlier this year and like you it really didn’t hit me at first as I was just focusing on recovering from the surgery. It may take time I don’t think It really sunk in until a few months later. Also I found that sometimes I get annoyed at peoples comments(it’s not that person’s fault as they don’t know) and that I am finding it hard as more people I know are falling pregnant. But it’s completely normal to feel like this, your emotions are so up and down and mine still are! I really do recommend if you have a one near you go to a group aswell as it’s another support for you!

Hope this helps x

5

1 year since an unplanned pregnancy and morning after pill ectopic. Not alone! X

6

Hey,

Your not alone and what your feeling sounds very familiar to me. Coming from someone who was so anti children that just having them around me made me angry. Now after my eptopic I feel love and compassion towards children even though its really hard to be around them for other reasons…It has completely changed me to the point where i dont even feel like I know myself. I still have no idea if I want kids or not. My feelings chance almost daily as well with the lovely emotional roller coaster. I feel like it’s something that cant be rushed. I’m still waiting to have some clarity about my experience. I def feel like I’m in a bit of a fog as well.

Hugs

7

I feel the same confusion a year later.

Not wanting kids essentially (the pill kills any broodiness for me), turning 34 with a 1/10 chance of it happening again and a long distance relationship.

Do I get on it and try for a baby I’m not sure I want to make sure I have time or not? Who knows.

Confusion. All from this ectopic! X

8

Hello,

Sorry to hear so many people have had this awful experience.

Similarly my husband and I had unprotected sex and because of Covid we decided it may not be the best time to risk getting pregnant so took the morning after pill the following day. About 10 days later (nowhere near my period due date) I had pain and light bleeding that stopped that evening, a few days later I started spotting daily and felt really off, I took several pregnancy tests but all negative and then 3 weeks after we had, had sex I got a very faint line. I called my doctors and was told to wait another week by their receptionist but the following day the bleeding got heavier and more painful so was told to go to an EPU where they confirmed I was pregnant. I went back and forth for a few weeks but my HCG was rising slowly so they were going to do the methotrexate and on the morning this was due they cancelled it as I was in so much pain they did surgery to check my tubes etc but couldn’t find anything and diagnosed an ectopic or pregnancy of unknown location which I still don’t understand and if I am honest I am terrified it will happen again as they have no idea what caused it. I believe it has something to do with the morning after pill but no one has really said anything, could this be possible?

Thank you,