I recently experienced a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and wanted to share my story incase others find it useful or reassuring to know that you’re not alone.
Our story started when I fell pregnant in May 2024, I was so excited and pleased that we were finally going to be parents. However, after a couple of weeks, I noticed that I had some bleeding and something didn’t feel right, so I was referred to the Early Pregnancy Unit at our nearby hospital. I had a scan and blood tests and sadly we found out that I had suffered a miscarriage. Me and my husband were upset, but I found it particularly difficult as I had got my hopes up. So when we were ready to try again, we decided not to test so often and try to relax rather than stress about it. Unfortunatley, things took another sad turn in August. I started the day like any other and had gone out to meet a friend for lunch, when I suddenly felt a pain in my stomach. I started sweating profusely and felt light-headed. I figured that I must have eaten something bad, and when I struggled to stand up, (let alone drive) I called my husband to pick me up and take me home. As I got out of the car, another wave of pain hit me and I felt sick and dizzy. As soon as I stepped into the house I vomited and felt the sudden urge to go to the toilet. As I sat on the loo, I felt like my head was spinning and I could barely keep my eyes open. I knew that I was going to faint, so my husband helped me to the floor to lay down. After a few minutes I was able to get up and my husband helped me onto the sofa to see if I could sleep off what seemed to be a really bad case of food poisoning. I tried to lay still in the hope that the intense stomach pain and dizziness would pass, but after a couple of hours of vomitting and going faint, I was feeling worse and asked my husband to call an ambulance. When they arrived, they spent an hour and a half in my home trying to work out what was wrong. One of the ambulance crew asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant and we said we hadn’t been testing, but we have been trying to conceive so it was a possibility. Suddenly their approach changed when they asked if I had pain in my shoulder and my blood pressure was continuing to drop, so they decided it was critical that I got to a hospital. I was blue lighted all the way there and as soon as we arrived, they took me to the resuss unit. A team of 8 doctors and nurses started putting tubes, cannula’s and a catheter in. They explained that they needed a urine sample to confirm if I was pregnant as they suspected a ruptured ectopic pregnancy.
Despite being in an emergency setting and in immense pain, when they told me that the pregnancy test was positive, my heart jumped in a moment of joy. But as quickly as that thought came into my head, so did the realisation that a positive test meant I needed the surgery and that I would lose the baby.
They scanned my stomach and found I had a major internal bleed which is why my blood pressure was still dropping. I had lost around 2-3 litres of blood and they said I needed emergency surgery to remove the ruptured tube. I was given the yellow piece of paper to sign to say that I understood the risks of the surgery. They told me that there was a chance that I could die during the surgery, but that I would definitely die if I didn’t have it. So the choice was obvious and I signed the paper… My husband was terrified, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it through myself. I said " I will be okay and I’ll make it through this, but just in case, I love you and please tell our family and friends that I love them too. I will be glad that the pain is over and please don’t have any regrets… but don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be okay and I’ll make it through".
I had two blood transfusions before they took me to the operating theatre and explained that things were quite critical so they let my husband walk with me up until the theatre doors. I was wheeled into surgery and stared at the huge ring light overhead, just praying that the pain would stop soon. They did their final checks the last thing that I remember was being told to breathe deeply into the oxygen mask.
I woke up in recovery unit to find out that it had been a long and complicated procedure which took over 3 hours. They had removed my right tube and a cyst, but it was difficult because they found a large fibroid on my womb which limited access by laparoscopy.
When I was taken to a room on the ward, the surgeon explained what had happened. Thankfully my husband could stay with me and I was so relieved to see him.
The immediate focus was on getting well enough to go home from hospital. I still wasn’t right when they discharged me as my blood pressure was low, but I was told by one of the nurses that they needed the room for another patient and if I needed to stay longer, then I would have to go onto a mixed ward with women who had just given birth. I knew I wouldn’t be able to cope with that, so I agreed to go home.
I was sent home at midnight (I had been out of surgery less than 24hrs), with a bag of various medications and painkillers, plus injections to be taken twice a day.
Once I arrived home, I let all the emotions out and cried about the whole experience across the days and weeks. The physical recovery wasn’t straightforward as I broke out in a rash all over my tummy and legs where I had a reaction to something they used during the surgery.
The emotional side of things has been even harder, not only was there the trauma from a life threatening emergency surgery, but the grief of losing a second baby, and the realisation that a part of my body had been taken too. My husband has been very supportive, but it took some time to understand his own emotions and to recognise how we were dealing with things differently. Once the initial threat of losing me has subsided, he focussed on practical things and tried to cope by keeping busy. I decided to speak to him about getting support to make sure we both processed it properly and we started seeing a joint counsellor. It was the best decision we made as it has been so helpful.
At the time of writing this, it’s been 8 weeks post surgery. I haven’t returned to work yet as I’m not ready and feel that I need headspace to grieve and heal before rushing back into everyday life.
To anyone trying to navigate a similar situations, please know that you are not alone. It is horrible and unfair what has happened to you. Nothing anyine can say will make it better or takes away the heartbreak, but keep talking (to friends, family, support services such as the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust or even a counsellor) and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. You will have good and bad days, and that is perfectly okay.