Here I am again… I took a break from this wonderful forum these past few months after spending a lot of time here last year after my first and second EPs. I needed to find a way to reduce my over-monitoring/hypervigilance of every body sensation in my lower abdomen, and to try and think about other stuff. I also imagine that my story of 2 EPs might very well be anxiety-inducing for those of you hoping for that to not happen (luckily still statistically very unlikely to happen to you).
On Friday morning, I got a positive pregnancy test. I’m just over 4 weeks, so I know I’ve got at least another 1.5 week waiting to know more. I’ve been feeling really anxious since the days leading up to the test and increasingly since. My two EPs had presented very differently, so although I’m happy that there’s nothing seemly wrong so far, I also don’t feel like I can draw any positive conclusion based on that. My first one had presented suddenly in February 2023 around 7.5 weeks with awful one-sided pain that woke me up in the middle of the night, followed by bleeding. It was treated with MTX. My second one started in October with bleeding I initially took as my period, but that became intermittent. After a day of feeling dull pain on the same side as my first EP, I took a pregnancy test and called myself in for the early ultrasound right away. I was 5.5 weeks and my tube was surgically removed with the pregnancy.
So here I am. The tube that had issues is gone and I was told my other one ‘looked good’. I (so far) have had no symptom to suggest issues. I had the tiniest bit of bleeding about 1.5 week after ovulation which I’m hoping could be implantation (and I think would be too early for my tube to be bleeding – that pregnancy can’t have been big enough then, right?). I’m feeling calmer than I was last fall, but am still extremely anxious and bracing for the worst. What’s the appropriate amount of hope when pregnancy has only resulted the most serious health catastrophe of my life, and twice? I’m really scared… and trying to hold onto a tiny bit of hope.
Sending you a whispered congratulations on your pregnancy. Having had two ectopic pregnancies myself, I can relate to the nervous feelings and holding my breath in future pregnancies. As best as you can, be good to yourself and take it slowly. It is out of our control, which can feel quite overwhelming. Please look after yourself in these early weeks and take one day at a time.
With very good wishes,
Michele
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
I remember reading on the forum that you had gone through two EPs and eventually went on to have successful pregnancies, which gives me a bit of hope. I greatly appreciate your kind words. It will not be my most productive and focused weeks leading up to the US, but I’ll get through.
Omg!! Seeing this has made my evening!! Without getting too excited I am SOOO happy for you!!! As you know, I know myself how hard it is when you find out you are pregnant to not get carried away after the awful things we have been through, but I am keeping everything crossed for you, please keep me posted!! xx
Lovely to hear from you :). I was in another post of yours that you little was born recently - congratulations! I appreciate your nice thoughts. I feel less panicked than when I found out about my 2nd pregnancy because they’re nothing super suspicious for now, but it is very stressful nonetheless. I’ll definitely keep you posted. Should be getting my US next week.
So nice to hear about little Oliver! Glad you two are doing well
I’ve got my 5.5 week US tomorrow. I’m a bit nervous it’ll be too early to be conclusive (last time they sent me straight to the ER only for ER doctors to turn me around and ask I come back in 48 hours because they felt the US wasn’t clear enough yet), but we’ll see. I’m really anxious but at least I haven’t had any suspicious symptoms for now like I did for my 2nd EP. I’ll keep you posted on the results.
Hopefully at 5.5 weeks even if it’s too soon to see baby they should still be able to see the sack in the correct place! When I went for my first scan at the EPU after my ectopic they couldnt find anything and diagnosed me with pregnancy or unknown location, I was 5 weeks then so don’t be disheartened if they can’t see anything just yet!
They were indeed able to see the gestational sac and yolk sac in my uterus earlier today. Huge relief! I’m still having a bit of a hard time believing it and I’m super tired from the anxious lead up. Now here’s to hoping it’ll stick around, but it’s sure a better start than the last time around.
Thanks so much for your encouraging and supportive messages, I really appreciate them! Next US in two weeks to date the pregnancy.
Oh what fantastic news!! I am so so happy for you! If I am being honest the feeling of not believe it never goes away, it didn’t for me anyways! But it is real and it’s happening!! Just be sure to take it easy and get as much rest as you can!
I just thought I’d update on my second US, which was 2 weeks ago and found a nice little heartbeat. My pregnancy was dated at 7 w 1 d on June 19. Nice to see some life in there. I guess that’s what pregnancy US are meant to feel like? Everything seems normal since (all my fingers are crossed).
For anyone that it might help, I did feel many pinches on both sides (which I found reassuring whenever they happened on my tube-less side - not many odds of an EP there…). I still feel pinches occasionally now (I’m 9 weeks) and have to remind myself that it’s nothing to freak out about. Habits die hard.
That is really great news and thank you for keeping us updated, it really will reassure so many people in similar positions.
Wishing you a very smooth pregnancy,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
Well, as it turns out, our little embryo stopped growing days after our 7w US, something that we only found out at a genetic testing US at the end of my 12w of pregnancy (or so we thought). What a sad way to end what I had started to believe might be a successful pregnancy. And to only find this out on the edge of trimester two feels a bit more cruel than necessary. They also won’t test our embryo for genetic issues because, here in Canada, you need at least two unexplained pregnancy losses, so of course my two EPs don’t count, as I was told by several health professionals… Despite all this, I am finding somewhat a feeling of quiet and a bit of appeasement. It certainly felt less scary not to have to monitor for the life-threatening symptoms of an EP, for a change. I was able to complete the miscarriage at home and we even saw our (surprisingly well preserved) embryo, which we will now be burring in a forest near our home. There is a bit more closure, however hard it is, in this being more tangible than my previous experiences. Part of me feels a bit defeated that somehow pregnancies seem more ‘normal’ to me when they end without a baby. But I also cannot fail to notice that my experience over the last 1.5 year has taught me some skills that make me better at handling the loss, at least for now. Wishing everyone here better outcomes. Much love, Cam
Oh, I am truly sorry to hear this. You have been through so much. I am also sorry to hear that you can not gain referral to fertility specialist at this time.
It sounds as though you are being gentle with yourself and allowing time to grieve. Please do feel free to lean on us for as long as you need, we will always be here for you.
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
I’m so sorry to hear this. I haven’t been on this forum for quite a long time but your story is so similar to mine, I wanted to post and maybe give a bit of hope or reassurance.
I had 2 ectopics (accidental pregnancy first one treated with methotrexate, and then 8 months later my second in the same tube which had to be removed).
I thought that was it for my fertility but was so surprised 3 months later to have another positive test. Similarly, I couldn’t relax about it until I knew all was ok. We were so relieved when it was. Because of my ectopics and anxiety I had extra scans, and as far as I could tell the embryo was lagging a bit behind where they should’ve been. This was confirmed at my 12 week scan where they told us I’d had a missed miscarriage. I actually already knew deep down it had ended, I remember feeling quite a sharp pain a few days before the scan and thinking ‘well that’s that then’. I ended up needing a D&C procedure. I think I was so relieved that I’d gotten pregnant in the right place that I just felt grateful that there was a possibility it’d happen again rather than being devastated at the miscarriage.
I went home, slept and relaxed and was surprised to find out I was pregnant again (4th time) a couple of months later. We were trying but I had assumed we’d be looking at least 8-10 months minimum , so it was quite a shock. That pregnancy was completely different, everything just did what it was supposed to and felt like things were going well. He’s now almost a toddler!!
I hope this can be a hopeful story for other people, that even when things just keep going wrong it can and for quite a lot of people does completely change in an instant.
Thank you so much for the nice message. These types of experiences are so hard that I always hope no one would share them, so I am sorry to read about the hard time you went through. I really do appreciate you sharing your story as there are probably not too many if us out there and I am so gald to hear things turned out well for you eventually. Had you undergone any testing before your fourth pregnancy? They wouldn’t test my embryo for genetic issues and Im wondering if testing for preventable issues like hormone imbalances etc. might be helpful because I do find the perspective of another loss very daunting.
Thanks again, wishing you the best. And thank you Karen for the lovely message too.
