Needing positive vibes!

Good morning, I just needed a place to get my feelings out really! I feel like only people who have gone through this will understand.

After trying for a baby for 7 years and being told it was ‘unexplained infertility’ we fell pregnant in December but lost the baby and my right tube at 6 weeks. I hope this makes sense to you guys but at the time my sadness for the loss was also sort of masked by overwhelming shock and happiness that we were actually pregnant. Even though we only had a couple of days knowing we were pregnant, and sort of knowing it wasnt going to last I was still absolutely overjoyed.

A couple of months down the line and going through ‘trying’ again with no joy I am starting to feel more and more down. I think I had it in my head that we would conceive again straight away as we were told I had lots of adhesions (which were removed during my surgery) and we now had a much higher chance of conceiving than we had before the ectopic. And yet I came on my period yesterday and just feel so sad. Its like every period I have I get further away from my baby.

I just wanted to get this off my chest, I know there is nothing anyone can do but it helps to get it out.

xx

So sorry to read your story. It’s good to hear you have a higher chance of conceiving now.

I have all my fingers crossed for you. Just be patient. These things take time sometimes.

It will be worth the wait xxx

Dear Bulldogmad13,

I completely understand the feeling of wanting to get back to normal following loss. I very much understand that strong desire to conceive. I appreciate how frustrating it can be if it isn’t happening as quickly as we would like. Conceiving successfully can take time and can take some couples more than a year or so.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things.

I wish I could give more precise information, but as I do not have access to your and your partner’s medical records, it is difficult for me to provide specific details. Generally, we and many healthcare professionals advise keeping a healthy balanced diet, maintaining a healthy weight and abstaining from alcohol and smoking.

Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months.

Generally, when a person has only one fallopian tube and both ovaries, they are still able to get pregnant from an egg at the opposite ovary as an egg from one ovary can travel down the tube on the other side. The fallopian tubes are not attached to the ovaries and, at the point of ovulation, some very delicate structures called the fimbriae begin to move gently creating a slight vacuum to suck the egg toward the end of the tube it is nearest to (like lots of little fingers waving and drawing the egg towards it). So, if you have only one tube then there is only one set of receptors working and one set of fimbriae creating a vacuum and so the egg is much more likely to find its way to that tube, whichever ovary it is produced from. Conservative estimates suggest that an egg produced on the tubeless side manages to descend the remaining tube around 15 to 20% of the time.

I know it may not be as fast as you would like but it may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

Sending much love,

Karen x


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