Dear Suzie,
I am sorry to hear you experienced an ectopic pregnancy earlier this year, as you say the physical recovery can often be a lot quicker than the emotional recovery. The time it takes to process what you have been through and all of the emotions and feelings as a result can often be underestimated. With the treatment for your ectopic pregnancy only completing in March this year it is completely understandable you are still struggling with feelings of sadness and grief and that some days may feel much harder than others.
Family members and friends having babies around you can be very triggering and there is nothing wrong with you if you are finding this hard, and it doesn’t mean you are not coping as well as you should be or you are not happy for them, but this can be a constant reminder of what you have lost and this can understandably exacerbate your feelings of grief.
I can also understand that the first time you try to conceive after your loss, and it doesn’t work that this it is very upsetting to experience. Many people I speak to that have gone through an ectopic pregnancy fear they will never have a successful pregnancy, but I hope it brings you some comfort to know that the chances of having a future successful pregnancy are very good and 65% of women are healthily pregnant within 18 months of an ectopic pregnancy. Some studies suggest this figure rises to around 85% over two years factors such as the health of your Fallopian tube(s), age, your general and reproductive health and how often you have sex.
You say you are not coping as well as you should be, but please don’t feel pressured to be at a certain point of your emotional recovery. As I said before, how long it can take to recover emotionally is often underestimated. There is a lot of information on our website about the emotional recovery from an ectopic and I hope reading some of the information on here helps you feel less alone in the fact there are still moments you find incredibly difficult, this is to be expected: https://ectopic.org.uk/emotional-recovery
I can really relate to feeling as though the world around me kept spinning and normality resumed for everyone else around me very quickly whilst I still felt in the depths of grief. And if this has left you feeling alone, I am really sorry. Please know as we at The EPT are always here for you and this is always a space you can use to talk about how you are feeling.
Wish good wishes,
Sophie
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
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