Emotional help please!!

Hi,

I had an ectopic pregnancy in August 2021 and a chemical pregnancy in May 2021.

My period just returned a few weeks ago so physically I feel my body is ready but emotionally I’m still finding it hard to deal with.

My husband and I are both terrified the ectopic will happen again and to be honest its putting me off trying, though deep down I do want to try, I’m just terrified :fearful:

I’m also 37, so I feel every month that goes by, I feel time is ticking. My husband is not putting any pressure on me and has been great throughout. Its more so,pressure I am putting on myself and this is adding to my own anxiety.

My friends have been great but one is currently pregnant and one has just had a baby,so I find it very hard to open upto them which is natural I guess.

We had attended counselling sessions and they help but I don’t know if we should go back.

I suppose what I’m asking can anyone give me tips on things that helped them overcome this fear. I’d be really, really grateful. We are based in Ireland FYI.

Thanks :blush:

Dear Kazm,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses.

I honestly understand how you are feeling and I think many women will resonate with this post.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months.

Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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