Dear Lorna93,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and all of your feelings are completely normal. It is completely normal to feel up and down. I remember feeling a mix of emotions when my hCG levels retuned to normal. Happy that I would not longer have to return for my blood tests, there was no longer a risk of rupture and I could look forward to trying again. I was however heartbroken that my pregnancy had ended and scared about trying again.
Clare11203, is also right in that ectopic pregnancy is life threatening and delaying treatment could’ve been detrimental to your own health. Doctors do make decisions in their patients best interests so please be gentle with yourself and try not to dwell on decisions made.
While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years. Also the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
We often hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It’s what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us “bad” people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need
Regarding trying again, can i gently remind you that with Methotrexate, you should wait until your hCG levels have fallen to below 5mIU/mL (your doctor will advise you when this is through blood tests) and then take a folic acid supplement for 12 weeks before you try to conceive. This is because the Methotrexate may have reduced the level of folate in your body which is needed to ensure a baby develops healthily. The Methotrexate is metabolised quickly but it can affect the quality of your cells, including those of your eggs and the quality of your blood for up to three months after it has been given. The medicine can also affect the way your liver works and so you need to give your body time to recover properly before a new pregnancy is considered. A shortage of folate could result in a greater chance of a baby having a neural tube defect such as hare lip, cleft palate, or even spina bifida or other NT defects. This is why the “wait” and then taking folic acid for 12 weeks before trying to conceive is so important.
Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us. There is a specific preparing for your next Pregnancy board you can look at too whenever feel ready.
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
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Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
apart from 5 days clear before the injection, then just before the injection it started up again. I was discharged from the EPU on 03/04 as levels had returned below 25 - I thought I’d stopped bleeding this weekend and then Tuesday I’ve started up again, which they say is probably my period 