My ectopic pregnancy story.

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Hi everyone ,

I thought I’d share my story.

I was so excited to find I was pregnant as it was my first pregnancy. A few days after finding out I was pregnant , I started bleeding lightly. Everyone kept telling me it was normal, but it didn’t feel normal to me.

I went to a gp which she told me it was normal as long as it didn’t turn heavy. 2 weeks later I woke up to a big bleed. Instantly, I thought I’d had a miscarriage. I went to a&e which they told me I was still testing positive and there was nothing they could do as I was only 5 weeks.

I’d booked a private 6 week scan and was told I’d likely had a misscarriage but they classed it as a PUL (pregnancy of unknown location). They referred me to the epu (emergency pregnancy unit).

I went the next day for an ultrasound but they said I’d had a miscarriage. However, my bloods had gone up to 3000. I returned for another scan the day after and they found the baby in my tube. I was devastated as I was currently grieving the loss of what could have been but now it turns out my own body had let me down. Something was wrong with my body and I’d failed the baby.

I felt the doctors let me down as if I hadn’t had the private scan , I could have ruptured as I was unknowingly still pregnant.

I had opted for the methotrexate as I was worried about loosing my tube as I haven’t got any children yet. I was frustrated as it took 3 days at the hospital to get the injection (by then I was 7 weeks pregnant).

My levels had gone up to 4500 by day 4 and doctors told me if they’d gone up by day 7 I’d be rushed into theatre. I really struggled with the side effects of the injection. I was in a lot of pain. Most days , I sat lying on the bathroom floor by myself in agony. The cramping was awful for me.

My levels dropped (luckily)

Day 4- 4500

Day 7- 3000

Week 2- 1400

Week 3- 300

Week 4- 120

Week 5- 44

So I’m currently at Week 6 and hoping I’ll be discharged this week. I’m struggling with the fact this is officially the end and I’m not pregnant anymore. I’m scared about trying again in a few months as I don’t feel like I can go through this again but I don’t feel my life would be complete without having kids.

I’m still in a bit of pain. I get random niggles where the baby was. I’m just sad about what could have been as I feel like everyone has got children around me and I’m the only one left who hasn’t. Why did there have to be something wrong with me and my baby ? Why couldn’t I just have a normal 1st pregnancy?

So that’s my story. Thanks for reading. I’m hoping it will help others going through the same thing.

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Dear ashley,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, concerns about the future, reduction in fertility and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

I can completely relate to how you are feeling. My first pregnancy was also ectopic and treated with methotrexate and I felt the most enormous guilt. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening. From the bottom of my heart, you are not to blame so please be kind to yourself. I hope it brings some reassurance to tell you that my next pregnancy was successful.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget our experience but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes. Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

For now take time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for you for as long as you need.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

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Hi Ashley

I’m so sorry for your loss. I have experienced loss three times this year, where two have ended with a salpingectomy. It’s hard to stop imagining what could have been but the only thing you can do is move forward.

I am sorry that your medical team failed you in that way. I can relate as similar things happened here with my medical team and I really lost trust in them, and have ended up a bit disgruntled with how they handled me. It’s good you trusted your gut and took the actions you did and advocated for yourself.

It’s and understatement to say that its frustrating when all you want is to be pregnant and it’s not happening.

Even though people said it was possible to get pregnant again after an ectopic, I was doubtful in my case since they discovered pelvic adhesions during my first salpingectomy. It meant that I was at high risk of getting another ectopic, which is what eventually happened half a year later.

I wish that I would have had an HSU or HSG or other exams to check the functioning of my tubes before trying again only for it to end in vain. Had I had confirmed that my remaining tube was no longer functioning as it should, then I would have gone to IVF sooner.

I’m just saying this because if it were to happen to me again, that is what I would do, since they confirmed from the first surgery that there were indications that something was wrong.

In many cases of ectopic, it seems like it’s just random. But if you have a gut feeling, know that there’s also steps you can take to check and take control of your TTC journey, especially if you have been trying for a while.

Anyways, I wish you all the best.

Regards,

Lisa