Ectopic mistake? Broken.

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I’m not really sure how to start this, I’ve never written on a forum before…I guess I’m just feeling very torn and have unanswered questions which I can’t seem to get resolved.

My husband and I conceived in March 2022, first time I have got pregnant, not for the want of trying, I lost just under 10 stone to get pregnant and have PCOS, so arrogantly thought wow its actually finally happened. But then we had a miscarriage at 6 weeks which was pretty horrendous for us both.

We just started to get back to some sort of reality (whatever that may be) and I found out I was pregnant 9 weeks and 5 days ago. I was of course very cautious but we were so happy again, I then started to bleed, but this time it was a different type of bleeding, there was only a very small clot. I spoke to my doctors and they advised me that I could go to the Early Pregnancy unit for a scan but would have to wait 2 weeks at least to make sure something could be seen on the scan. After the two long weeks were up, the EPU unit advised me to wait another week.

I didn’t feel like I could wait any longer so I arranged a private scan on what would of been approx 6 weeks and 6 days, the scan didn’t show anything, but they advised maybe my dates were wrong and referred me to EPUnit for 2 days later.

I had the appointment at the EPUnit and they confirmed they couldn’t see anything in my uterus but wanted to monitor me with blood tests to check my HCG levels over a week.

They went up but not as much as the doctors wanted so I was called back in on 10th October 2022.

I had an internal scan and external scan and again nothing was found in my uterus or my tubes except two ‘normal’ cysts apparently. That afternoon it was confirmed by a doctor that I had an ectopic pregnancy.

As it hadn’t ruptured they gave me methotrexate, I have been monitored by bloods since, today is the day they will see if it has worked…

I’m just so scared that I was pregnant, had an early miscarriage then fell again and I’ve now had the methotrexate which is stopping the growth. The scan lady asked us if we had been sexually active since everything, I said yes as we weren’t advised not to be and she said ohh that might muddy the water! What??? What does that mean? Was I pregnant then miscarriage and fell again and the reason they can’t find anything on the scan is because it’s too early and I’ve just stopped the growth of what could of been a healthy baby???

Or am I completely overthrowing and wishing this was the case? I just can’t get it out my mind, what if this was my last chance? I feel so stupid because I know other women are going through their own journeys and I was lucky so far not to have surgery but I don’t know I feel completely broken and confused.

I’m sorry for the long message.

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Hi LaurenW86,

I am so sorry to hear that you suffering from this ectopic pregnancy and loss. Ectopic pregnancies are physically and emotionally traumatic, and they can leave us with many questions. I will do my best to answer yours.

I saw that you also posted about the first dose of MTX not working. As I’m not medically qualified, I can not provide advice on the best course of action. I encourage you to keep speaking with your doctors and asking as many questions as you have (it helps to write them down as you think of them and bring that paper with you to the appointment).

It’s important to know that an ectopic pregnancy can not continue and you did not harm a healthy growing baby. Ectopic pregnancies grow in places that can not continue to a full-term pregnancy, and they pose severe implications for women’s health if they are not treated. Many of us were surprised to learn about ectopic pregnancy the first time we had one, but these pregnancies occur in 1 in 80 pregnancies. These boards are filled with women and men who have experienced the situation.

I want you to know that there is nothing you did to cause the ectopic pregnancy nor sadly, nothing we can do to prevent them. The likelihood of future ectopic pregnancies is around 10% in the UK. That means there’s a 90% chance of correct placement. You will also be able to self-refer to the Early Pregnancy Unit in the future to have early scans, which can offer some reassurance.

You are right in the middle of this experience and I encourage you to be very generous and patient with yourself. Please allow time to rest, especially as you are on MTX, which will have its own side effects. You know your body the best, it’s important to be mindful of your symptoms until you reach non-pregnant levels, under 5mIU/mL, as there is unfortunately still a chance of rupture. The symptoms of a deteriorating ectopic pregnancy, which include worsening or progressively increasing pain; vaginal bleeding; shortness of breath; feeling faint; and pain in the tip of the shoulder among others, may become noticeable. If you suffer any of these symptoms you will need to be reassessed. Your hospital would give you a number to contact for health advice if you feel that anything is changing, or you will have been told to report to the Accident and Emergency Department (A&E). If you have not been told what to do and need to speak to someone ring the hospital department which is treating you or the NHS 111 Service by dialling 111.

Please continue to look after yourself and prioritise yourself. We are here for you for as long as you need us.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

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