Misscarriage After Ectopic

Other Pregnancy and Baby Loss
1

Hi All,

Just felt like returning back and writing things down!

Little bit of background.

I started trying for a baby in Sept last year and concieved pretty much straight away. Unfortunetly at 8 weeks i suffered an ectopic. My left tuber ruptured and it turned out i had been bleeding internally for around 2 weeks previous when i first got the onset of pain was when the tube ruptured and i had carried on almost oblivious putting the pain down to wind and growing pains. It was my 1st pregnancy and so was very naive about what to expect and i also just thought i was over worrying when looking back i probably knew deep down taht i wasnt supposed to be feeling so ill. The recovery after was long and emotional with lots of ups and downs. We had just moved into a lovely house which we had bought to start a family together and knowing we were pregnant had picked out a baby room and were excited about a new start. I waited the suggested 3 months from my surgeon and my gp before i tried again. After the 3 months i decided to. Part of me was really scared but i didnt think i would fall pregnant straight away i just hoped that i would be pregnant by the time my 1st due date would have been as i felt that getting pregnant would ease the pain. Boy did that backfire!

I fell pregnant straight away in March this year. Had my early scan at 7 weeks and saw a baby with a heartbeat it was amazing. I finally felt i could relax and just go with it and not worry. I was so pleased that my reamining tube worked ok. From that point and the next 2 weeks that followed i started to bleed. I put it down to the internal scan however my gp prepared me for teh worst. On May 4th i started to get strong pains, they started every hour or so then became more frequent. By the time i got to a&e i felt like i was going to pass out and the cramping feeling returned every 2 minutes or so. When i got to a ward i passed a lot of blkood like a really heavy period but alot heavier than what i’m used to and then came the baby/sac. I was just devastated.

I am now almost 4 weeks on and am waiting for my period. My hormones have been a bit woibbly this last week but i’m hoping its all due to af coming.

I go through a range of emotions from guilt and feeling like a let down and a burden to sadness and grief. The over whelming self pity i have for myself is the most annoying. I vwery much dislike not being in control of my body and not feeling like me.

Last week i took up running with my sister and a friend hoping it will make me take some control back.

I kind of just wrote all this as i would love to hear others stories and how they have coped/coping and to try and gain some positivity!

Thanks for reading!

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Hi Gemma,

I understand your pain and worry as I shared that too and I was so desperate for a baby it would drive me crazy sometimes. I thought I’d share my story with you to give you some hope as I had the same as you but the other way around…

I had a missed miscarriage first of all where I lost my baby but didn’t miscarry properly. It was devastating. I went for my 12 week scan and the doctors told me there was no heartbeat and to come back for another scan in a week. When I went for this scan and there was no change they confirmed I had a ‘missed abortion’ as they called it then (luckily they aren’t supposed to use language like that now as it wasn’t an abortion!). The doctors tried to treat me with medical management three times and it failed every time so I had to have surgery in the end – a D&C.

I then had a misdiagnosed ectopic pregnancy where I was turned away from A&E three times. I had ruptured six days earlier before they diagnosed me. I lost my right fallopian tube and had to have emergency surgery and a blood transfusion as I nearly lost my life too.

After my ectopic I then went on to have two daughters. My mother and others used to say to me “they say you can try too hard you know” and I would think “it’s easier said than done when you’re desperate”. As much as I wouldn’t want it to consume my life I couldn’t help it, it would. I remember crying the New Year in and kind of giving up putting pressure on myself and saying if I hadn’t caught at 18 months I’d speak to someone then but I needed a mental break first . Whether it was coincidence or not it’s impossible to know but I then caught so I didn’t go and see the doctor in the end.

After all that heartache I then caught with my second 20 months after the birth of my first baby while still breastfeeding at bedtime and thinking ‘it took me so long to get pregnant the first time and I’m breastfeeding so I don’t need birth control plus it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I did fall pregnant’. I find it strange all of the difficulties to get one baby and then actually getting told off the second time by the Early Pregnancy Unit because I hadn’t presented straight away but hadn’t in reality realised I was pregnant.

You are being so brave.

Much love,

EPT Host 13