It’s been a little over a year now since I had the horrible news after my first ultrasound. I was pregnant with twins! But they were implanted into my left tube… No saving them, I just like hit complete rock bottom, I’ve never wanted something so bad in my life but to be a mom, and it was ripped away from me. Had to have surgery to remove my left tube with my babies, I cried and cried for weeks and now I sometimes wake up crying cuz I’ve dreamed of it all over again and again. A couple years ago I was diagnosed with a complete septate uterine and was told I had a 1 in 10 million chance of conceiving and when I found out I was pregnant I thought for once I would have everything but now I feel like I can’t work or function normal and my husband wants me to go back to work but I still don’t feel ready… Will I ever feel ready? Idk, cuz every month now when I get my period I just completely go back into a depression.
Dear Liz,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy losses,
The feelings you describe are very understandable. Recovery from a loss such as this takes.time and you have friends here who understand. You have had so much to process - the ordeal of diagnosis, surgical treatment, losing a twin pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety, sleep disturbance, vivid memories and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We also have Zoom meetings. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling.
We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
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