Its been 5 months and im really struggling with what happened some days are ok and then the next day they can be awful. Ita constantly at the back of my mind and when its a bad day its all i think about. Im not my self at all and im so tired i strugglw to get yp for work in the mornings. Does anyone else feel like this?
Hi Lorna
I’m 3months post op and feel exactly the same. Some days aren’t as bad as others but there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about it. I never thought it would be this hard but it has totally consumed me. I took the plunge and booked counselling and have my first session next week. I don’t know if it will help at all but just feel at this stage I need to do something. Have u considered trying counselling?
Dear Lorna_Cj9303,
I understand completely how you feel. It took me two years to contact the Trust and express how I was feeling, so thank you for being brave and contacting us now. Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy can be very isolating and we are all here for you.
The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of diagnosis, treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
I also had counselling and learnt that it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel the same. I had my first ectopic in October last year. I was nowhere near recovered when I found out 8 weeks after surgery that I was pregnant again. Devastatingly it was ectopic again in the other tube, and I had to have surgery again in December.
It’s been nearly 4 months now but I’m broken. I’ll never be the same. I’ll be feeling ok and having a good day, but suddenly will burst out crying out of nowhere. It’s just too much to process - losing babies, emergency treatments, hospitals, worrying about my future fertility…
But everyone says it’ll get easier. I really hope it does as more time passes.
Xxx
I hope your all ok, i have booked myself into counselling but its not until may! So just need to take each day as it comes. X