January/February/March 2013 Babies

Parents' Place
1

Hello!

We made it! Babies are here now :smiley: Do you have some time to share your experience?

Johan was born on the 1st of April, weighing 3.467 Kg. After having two ectopics and a five day labour which ended up in a c-section, I simply canā€™t believe that finally I am a mum. Now he is 6 weeks old and has started to smile. Breastfeeding has been difficult, but I think we have managed.

Hope to know about your babies (and continue sharing with the mummies with whom we started this journey).

Hugs to all

2

Hi Dad

Well done for getting this started! Its so lovely to read the facts like that that little Johan is here and 6 weeks old already!! Time really has flownā€¦I was going to say on the other now redundant thread that I wonder if Jā€™s constipation is to do with adding formula to his diet? I have heard that it can be quite constipating at first but should settle down when he gets used to it. I think it is really common to feel detached after such trauma but think you should keep an eye on it and speak to your therapist as you said. Two things I have found that helped me were firstly writing in my diary all the time with whatever negative emotions I needed to get out and secondly it may seem trivial but I look at the clothes hanging in her wardrobe for when sheā€™s older and imagine how much better itā€™s going to get and all the joy we have to come. I am lucky as I have a ds who I can look at I know that it gets better (just hard in different ways like when they swallow fish bones :wink: ) For me the turning point was 7-8 weeks and I started to feel like a different person or rather back to myself a bit and we are now on week 9 and Iā€™ve not had nearly so many bad days (touch wood).

So, my daughter Emmeline Thea was born on 14th March weighing 7lbs 12oz after pre eclampsia, induced labour for 8 hours which failed to progress and ending in section!! She has brown hair which is falling out every day and deep blue eyes. She has been smiling since week 4 and always smiles for Mummy or Daddy these days. She used to love her bath; now hates it and the same with car rides and the buggy but we are getting there! She is very good for nappy changes and getting dressed and loves cooing and smiling at the mobile in her cot! She loves white noise and can now be got to sleep listening to one of these playing on a mobile phone! Her favourites are restaurant noise and airplane cabin!! Her naps are always too short but she sleeps really well at nights with her 2nd 6 hr stint last night!

Looking forward to everyone else joining our thread

xxx

3

Hi Louismum!

Yesterday I saw my GP following the advice from Purl. I have had problems getting an appointment with her but finally I managed. She suspects I am suffering of postpartum depression. She said I was already having high risks of suffering itdue to the complications conceiving and the complications during labour. I never bothered to checked the symptoms to avoid jumping into conclusions. After the GP mentioned, I did and I certainly tick too many boxes. She also recommended that I should have a diary to write my feelings.

Johan is slowly returning back to normal. His reflux has decreased. He managed to poo during two consecutive days already. I wonder if those two things were related and now that his digestive system is maturing, things are better. Yes, it is hard to believe he is now 6 weeks. He has grown almost 10 cm since he was born :smiley:

I forgot to describe Johan a bit more. He has black hair, which is also falling off and blue eyes which we know will become either brown like his mum or green/brown like his dad. He loves to play with his dad and makes the funniest sounds when he sees his mummyā€™s booby before feeding (he closes one eye to focus better and then nibbles his hands :lol: ). He also loves skin to skin contact. He hates baths, nappy changing and Iā€™m afraid he is also not fond of his pram and of the sling. Since week 3 he started to suffer colics and reflux. Since week 5 he started to smile.

XXOO

DAD

4

Hi All

Sorry to have been so absent - I donā€™t know where the weeks are going!

Soā€¦after an ectopic in April 2009, lap and dye, 6 months of Clomid, 3 rounds of IVF, and a miscarriageā€¦

Adam John was born on 27th January at 10.12am weighing in at 7lb 3.5oz. I was 38+5 so a little surprised by his appearanceā€¦the birth was straightforward enough - gas and air and an episiotomy. Heā€™s blond with blue eyes, like me and has a tuft of hair that wonā€™t sit down. :slight_smile:

The early weeks seem a distant memory now! Breastfeeding was hard to start withā€¦no-one mentioned the cluster feeding or that feeding every 2 hours means from the start of the feed, not between feeds! And that picking them up a million times a night before your stitches have healed hurts like a b*tch! Thanks to excellent lanolin cream and support from the HV and my NCT chums I got through it and itā€™s pretty easy now. He gained weight well too which spurred me on.

Soā€¦Adam is 16 weeks old tomorrowā€¦his sleep and feeding are a bit up the wall at the moment after getting into a very good pattern around 6/7 weeks but heā€™s changing a lot so am trying to grit my teeth and go with it! Really not loving being up several times a night again. He can hold his head up really strongly and grab things and is gurgling and chatting lots which is very cute!

All the things he hatedā€¦his car seat, his bath, being changed are all lots of fun for him now (thank goodness). Weā€™re going on our first holiday this week - driving to France eeeek! Iā€™ve been taking him swimming since about 9 weeks so hoping to get in the pool lots with him.

Heā€™s had his first cold (horrible) and just has one set of jabs to go. Heā€™s in his own room in his cot which seems to be working ok. DSD is fantastic with him and he loves her to bits.

Although itā€™s definitely tiring, I am enjoying it so much. Every time Iā€™m shattered I think of the heartache that came before and canā€™t help but burst with happiness. Not to be a soppy mare but having him has settled my soulā€¦I no longer feel the pain and emptiness that was lurking in me even when things were going well. I do feel complete and, whilst a little sad that I had him later in life than I would have wanted and that heā€™ll be my only one, thank my lucky starts every day at how content he has made me.

Alys - fish bone nightmare! :shock: :shock: :shock:

Lovely to hear everyone elseā€™s stories like this xxxx

5

Hello mums and babes,

I had my gorgeous little girl in August 2009 and an ectopic January 2012. My beautiful boy was born 6th January 2013.

Monty is 19 weeks today-how it has flown! He arrived 6 days late and was a c-section in the end as he had pooā€™d and my waters broke but labour didnā€™t progress. Iā€™ve been advised no more ops and as this was my second section and having higher risk of ectopic-no more babies. It is hard to hear something so fjnal but I am totally consumed by my two little ones and cannot imagine having anymore. Having two is definitely more of a challenge than one-there is very little time for hubby but more and more for my daughter as Monty gets bigger and more robust. I have managed two baths since his brith-they both found and joined me five mins into the first!

monty was the most chilled out baby for 2 weeks then the reflux started. Heā€™s still sick a lot but he isnā€™t in pain anymore as he has some antacid to take. He is a frequent feeder but I think that is because he is bigger than average (75th percentile). He co-sleeps with me and hubby for now to make feeds at night easier. He is an early riser and rather regular with a feed at 5.00 feed followed by a poo (tmi) and then up for the day yawn!

He is a gorgeous baby ( of course Iā€™m biased) fair hair, blue eyes, often smiling and an outrageous flirt-bit like his dad!! Heā€™s very sociable and easily distracted by whatā€™s going on around him. He loves to be held and carried and doesnā€™t rely like his car seat, bouncy chairs, swings or anything on a recline. Heā€™s enjoys his excersaucer, door bouncer and beig able to roll around the carpet. He likes me to sing nursery rhymes to him, bounce him on my lap, tickle and blow raspberries and fly him through the air. He especially loves his bath!

Monty is always willing to feed (apart from when he has ear infection-ouch) and has started tastin some real food e.g sucking on an apple, pear and banana. He tried baby rice and rusks but prefers big real food rather than spooned slush. He had his first taste of a strawberry yesterday. He doesnā€™t like a bottle and takes all his milk from me. Heā€™s getting his first teeth.

Monty loves bright colours and he likes to look at books. He is gurgling happily in his cot under his mobile as I write this.

His big sister loves him and he loves her. Itā€™s wonderful to see them together. Our family is complete now and it gives me the biggest smile!

Looking forward to hearing all about the babies (and mums) on this thread.

Becca x

6

Hello Ladies!

It is so great to hear (or read) from you. Wow! As Louismum says, time has flown. Your babies are showing so much development. It is inspiring to know Johan will get there. Cath, let us know how it goes to drive to France with Adam. DH wants to drive to London and I am a bit scared of how to deal with a baby when travelling.

Did you see the bbc report about cot death yesterday? I was so horrified when the man said "imagine a mother who wakes up to find her baby dead in her arms. I have been sleeping with Johan in my arms to keep him straight so he wouldnā€™t vomit. I place pillows so neither of us would fall, but just listening to what that man said horrified me far beyond my limits. Today I placed him into his basket. He was clearly upset and woke up every hour. The minute I hold him, he would fall asleep. You can imagine how much sleep I had, but It is worth it.

DH and I talked a bit further about my feelings. He has taken over all of my house duties and either comes home at lunch or early after work so I can have some sleep. That has helped, but I canā€™t deny I am struggling to keep a smile.

BF has become challenging again. Johan and I have thrush. My nipples look normal, other than the cracks of Johan unlatching when he twitches with pain, but they feel so sore! It is such a burning feeling :cry: We both have medication now. In two more days I have my check up.

Hugs to all!

7

Hello all!

Sorry I havenā€™t been around much, Iā€™ve felt so busy! Great idea to start another thread here! What a dream come true to be posting on this thread :smiley: Weā€™re ā€˜parentsā€™!

Thank you for all your advice about naps. I did read it at the time and found it helpful just never got around to replying.

Itā€™s so lovely to read all your stories again, they all brought a tear to my eye! <3

DAD, Iā€™m sorry to hear about the depression and the thrush. Youā€™ve had a rough time. Big hugs to you :frowning: Just to let you know I had thrush too and the treatment dealt with it quickly, I hope the same happens to youā€¦

AFM, We got pregnant with Caleb after two years of trying and an ectopic and a miscarriage. I was booked in for a lap and dye and had to cancel the op because Iā€™d conceived - couldnā€™t believe my luck! He arrived on 27th Feb 13, a week and a half late, the day after his mummyā€™s birthday, weighing 9 lbs and 11 oz with loads of dark hair. The labour was 72 hours from start to finish. The birth was a very empowering/joyful experience involving a tens machine and 2 hours of pushing. Donā€™t think the pelvic floor is ever going to be the same again :lol: The first four weeks were the hardest weeks of my life. He cried A LOT and since then, the crying has tapered off and now (he is 12 weeks today!) he only cries when tired/hungry. The breast feeding has been a complete nightmare and the most challenging thing Iā€™ve ever had to do. He has a tongue tie which was divided, recurred and needed to be divided again. Iā€™ve had mastitis twice, engorgement and thrush. Iā€™ve lost count of the amount of bf support appointments Iā€™ve had with various professionals! The bf still isnā€™t perfect and still hurts a bit but I plan to carry on as it is much better than it used to be. Just really hoping that after all this I can carry on for the recommended 6 months!

Caleb is 12 weeks today and a right little smiler and laugher! He was an early starter too at 3 weeks. When I see him smile, it is the best feeling in the world, nothing compares to it! He is a very curious baby always staring at things. Many people have told me he has an expressive face! I think I have seen the full range of emotions now! :roll: :lol: He has brown hair and deep blue eyes. Although he was a big baby at birth he is now about average which figures as no-one in our family is particularly big. He loves being held so he can see the world, never snuggled in close. He hates his sling. Loves his bouncer and playmat. Loves the bath and the changing table! We have done a lot of co-sleeping but he is now in his moses basket every night, but I still lie down with him sometimes in the day as he can nap for longer with me next to him. He is a good sleeper, going to bed at 7.30pm and getting up for feeds at 11pm and 5am. Sometimes he sleeps until after 9am which I obviously appreciate! Iā€™ve found this last 12 weeks both the best and worst in my life. I really relate to what you said Cath about how having Adam has settled your soul - such a good/lovely way of putting it. However good life was, I was always discontented until I had Caleb and now I feel truly content. It is a nice feeling!

xxx

8

Sorry from me too not having posted in here for a while. Itā€™s so amazing to reĆ d everyoneā€™s baby stories! And of course it feels so good to write it down and read it back; makes it even more real! I should have said in my summary that Emmy was born after an ectopic in 2008 and a miscarriage in 2009 after trying for over four years and she also has a wonderful 6 year old brother who already dotes on her!

Wadds itā€™s so great that you have stuck with breastfeeding after everything. Something to be very proud of! Caleb sounds like heā€™s doing great with sleeping and youā€™re both getting into a routine. The way you describe the first 12 weeks is true! The best and the worst! I thought that second time round would be much easier but I found it just as hard! The only difference is that it doesnā€™t feel as life changing as weā€™ve made a lot if the adjustments already.

DAD how are you feeling? Iā€™m hoping with the comi f of the magic 6 weeks that things might have started to feel betterā€¦ My friend had PND and has talked to me about it as a feeling of intense anxiety rather than ā€˜depressionā€™ S such. She also struggled to conceive and was trying to be ā€˜supermumā€™ she was diagnosed in the end but worked through it without medication and by opening up and talking to people about it. Hope youā€™re doing ok.

Afm: Emmy is 10 weeks old now! She finally had her first jabs on wed after naughty mummy missed the appointmentā€¦ She was very upset at first but didnā€™t seem to be affected adversely. In fact she had her longest stretch of sleep ever after them sleeping 7 hours in a row!! Generally she is sooo much more settled and happy I can hardly believe the difference after the first 6 weeks. She smiles a lot! Always for me and dad but also for any random stranger who talks to her! Even for the the doctor until she jabbed her with a needleā€¦! She is currently working very hard on sucking her thumb which I am very keen to encourage as she wouldnā€™t take a dummy and really needs to learn self settling. Ds sucked his thumb by 12 weeks and afterwards was a dream to put down for naps! Up until today Emmy has been napping in her sling and in the pram usually with the use of white noise to settle for a nap but today I started putting her down in her big cot for naps. We are working towards moving her in there at night too in the next couple of weeks as she is fast outgrowing the Moses basket. Last weigh in she was 12lbs 2 and sticking to her 50th centile.

Thatā€™s all for now!! X

9

Hello!

Wadds, I echo Louismum, it is impressive that you have kept going with the BF. You are a model of perseverance :wink: I finished the thrush treatment and both of us still have the symptoms. In two weeks we will be checked again.

Purl, I tried to get the Gaviscon, but was told I need a prescription. Iā€™ll keep trying.

It feels like moving on in life in the right direction after being in the TTC page, then pregnant and now parent. I still canā€™t believe it. It is also interesting when I think how Johan would look like of behave when he is older by reading your stories. How have you managed to get them into a routine? Johan is now 8 weeks and he has no discipline what so ever. Yesterday I wanted to put him to sleep at 8:00 pm. I managed until it was almost midnight :roll:

Louismum, I think my biggest feelings are that I failed and that my life sucks (not in suicidal way). In my personal life, I feel I donā€™t even have a decent conversation with DH any more. All I can talk about is about what my FB contacts wrote, how Johan behaved and supermarket list. I failed to finish the work that I had been paid for and my boss hired someone to assist me and it takes me one week to answer his mails. I have invested already one year doing that work and now I donā€™t know what is happening. I feel I failed as a mum because even if I love him, he feels distant at the same time and also I simply canā€™t stand listening when he cries. I canā€™t even make him burp and after the night feed I find him full of vomit. Also, the flat is a mess. And finally (and donā€™t laugh about this one), I donā€™t even have time for the cat (when we adopted him I took him as my son since I had already given up hopes to be a mum and now that I am, I feel that I suck at it big time). I have even lost contact with the NCT ladies because one came up with the idea of using the smart phone app and I donā€™t have a smart phone. I tried creating a FB group but I was the only one using it. I feel I have many issues to resolve and they are not related directly with Johan.

Sorry for just exploding here. It feels good to just release some pressure

XX

10

Dad-it will get easier and thing will heck e more ā€˜normalā€™ again in time or maybe weā€™d offer what that normal was and accept the new ā€˜normalā€™. Just to reassure you, my house is a mess, I canā€™t seem to cook a meal still, we have bits of routine but not a rigid one (this is actually helpful as it means I am not ruled by the clock) and I have veryittle time to other and myself. This isnā€™t failure. This is life with a baby and a pretty good sign that baby comes first-as it should! It means that if we are putting the babyā€™s needs first then we are being good mums :smiley:

The burping will get easier once Johan is sitting and is more mobile a bumbo can help.

Can someone look after Johan so you and your partner can go to the local for a quick drink and catch up-time each other to see who can last longest without talking about Johan! Make a list of the things you are bits looking forward to doing as a family in the future (kind of bucket list).

Write your feelings down. It can help to list what you thought having a baby would be like and then the reality. There is a really funny article circulating on fb about this. The reality is mostly the same for everyone and is John g like the rosy picture in the books and on telly. But that doesnā€™t matter because the reality is loads more fun! Remember, it is all a stage. They grow out of things quickly.

Also we are on maternity for a reason. There is very little time to do your old job whilst you are doing your new job of being a mum.

Could you get a smart phone-they are fan for keeping in touch. Xx

11

Dad you are not bad at motherhood!! Everything you say sounds totally and utterly normal for a first time mum and especially a mum who thought shed never be able to have a baby. Donā€™t under estimate those years you spent thinking about what being a mum would be like and how you felt you were missing out on something huge. Unfortunately that builds up the expectation if yourself to be ā€˜perfectā€™ when I baby finally does come along. You have been through so much so donā€™t be too hard in yourself. If it makes you feel any better, my house is often a mess and all I ever talk/.think about is Emmy and her needs; just still getting through each day really. It us still exhausting and overwhelming at times even 2nd time roundā€¦ And I worry that I neglect ds with my obsession with new baby so understand the car thing too.

As for routine that is something I am starting to feel more in control with but it really depends on what sort of baby you have and your expectations for that baby. I had a routine for ds from about 12 weeks for my sanity and he is still loosely in it now (minus the breastfeeding of course ; )) it is by no means rigid but more of a framework. With ds I found that if I aimed for a certain pattern, he did eventually fall into it. I read the Baby Whisperer very closely but just take the basics from it now:

Emmy wakes about 8am feed

An hour later she is ready for a nap: have started putting her down in cot after gentle rocking and white noise until she is just asleep and seems to be working but at Johans age she was in sling for most naps

I aim to feed her every 2.5 to 3 hours (or sometimes then I canā€™t work out whatā€™s wrong with her) so after first nap itā€™s either feed straight away or let her play a bit then feed when she lets me know.

About 1.5 to 2 hours after first nap, play and feed she will be ready to sleep again so either put her to bed in cot or take for a walk. She will sleep anywhere between 30 mins to an hour.

Basically this pattern continues all day so in a roughly 3 hr cycle depending on her mood and length if sleeps etc.

At about 6.45 I start getting her ready for bed;

Very quick warm bath, clean nappy and cream, into sleepsuit and grobag then we go to her darkened room and (for now at least) feed until sheā€™s asleep. She is usually in bed by 8 but will try to push a little earlier as she gets bigger and joins more hours if sleep together. I feed her 2/3 times during the night and let her sleep on me before returning to cot.

Donā€™t know if any of that will help but its good for me to write down if nothing else! What do other peopleā€™s daily routines look like? I have been doing this since she was about 5 weeks old with increasing success. I find that if she is really grizzly downstairs before bed she immediately cheers up on starting the ā€˜bedtime routineā€™ and Iā€™m sure thatā€™s because she knows sleep is coming. Routine is and was really important to my family life and I couldnā€™t do eithout it!

Emmy still not found her thumb but chews her fists all the time!! She has also learnt how to roll onto her side.

Really hope things will improve for you dad especially once you have got the reflux under control.

Xxx

12

Hi!

Purl andLouismum, I canā€™t possibly thank you enough for your support. I read Purlā€™s post the day before my appointment with the GP and thought about it overnight. The GP said she noticed an improvement, but Iā€™m still under observation. Youā€™re both right. I certainly never expected to have a baby with reflux, being vomited so many times per day, looking at the kitchen accumulating grime everywhere and not having time even to sleep. But Iā€™m getting some of the things I had dreamed about: smiles, coos gurgling and hugs. Johan now has long ā€œconversationsā€ which Iā€™ve recorded. The GP said things will become easier by week 10. In the meantime, Johan wears an additional shirt so we can just remove that layer after each feed.

My thrush is still there. The GP gave me a capsule, one dose and both of us would be cured. Didnā€™t work. I returned when I saw Johanā€™s bum white but I was so unlucky that he poo that moment and after cleaning him, nothing could be seen. He said he was convinced he was OK. Yeah, right. Then, why my nipples have the burning feeling?

Johan is back to sleep with me. I sit in bed and put the nursing pillow in front of me. I would place him between me and the pillow facing to a side with the head between my boobies. I had started to walk asleep due to the sleep deprivation. I woke up several times carrying a pillow as if I was carrying a baby and was about to put it to the Moses basket. Luckily I woke up every time before doing so. Spooky!

I had a routine when Johan was two weeks old, before the reflux appeared. He is now 8 weeks (9 tomorrow). I hope soon we develop one. This weekend weā€™ll go to London, stopping at York. Letā€™s see how this works.

Tons of hugs

13

Dad Iā€™m really pleased we can help a bit even if its so you feel like the things you are going through are normal. Having a baby with reflux makes everything 10x harder and the thrush will also be making life more difficult. Will say again that things will eventually get easier (even the sleep deprivation). I too have had some funny nocturnal disturbances; A couple of nights ago I had a nightmare that something was trying to gets and I ended up leaping out of bed and into the landing to escape from it!

We had a good night last night. Dh said ā€˜have you already done a feed?ā€™ When he heard Emmy wake up at 4am but I hadnā€™t done one; sheā€™d slept right through it!!! We had been in bed and had 6 hrs unbroken sleep and she had slept 7 hrs and this time with no jabs ; ) then she went back to sleep for two more hrs then 2 more in our bed!! So funny though because still woke up craving more sleep and still tired today after the initial euphoria! Sheā€™s napped really badly today and totally I overtired at bedtime so will see how she does tonight. Not counting our chickens just yet !

Purl, wadds, Cath how are things with you?

Xxx

14

Hi all

Remember me? It seems a while since I posted, I have been reading regulalry but never had the time to post it would seem. Floss is currently asleep and i have a coffee and 15 mins before the school run so thought Iā€™d check in.

Quick intro - Iā€™m Lucy and have one dd Claudia who was conceived without a drama, so when we made the decision in 2010 to try for number two I didnā€™t think it would take two ectopics (Nov 2010 AND Sept 2011), four shots of methotrexate and an hsg before Florence was conceived and born in Feb 2013.

Well Floss is now 16 weeks. I weaned her off the breast and onto formula from 12 weeks. This has been thje right decision for us. Whilst F and myself did ok with breastfeeding, I felt it wasnā€™t for us in the long term, it wasnā€™t something I particularly enjoyed either if Iā€™m brutally honest and so I decided I would breastfeed for four months, so F got the benefits but so I could wean onto formula and then food without trying to do both together in the month before I return to work, a pumping where I work, doing what I do, would be far too stressful - I know this beause I have seen people try. Anyway, this went very smoothly and her weight, poos, temperement and sleep pattern havenā€™t changed - though I was kind of hoping the latter would and sheā€™d sleep longer lol. Devlopmentally she is meeting her milestones and is a relatively easy baby compared to her sister - Claudia was small born and very demanding because of it in terms of feeding etc. She is now in her own room in her cot - tho this took several failed attempts, when it failed I just left it a couple of nights and then tried again, gradually she has been able to self settle by 7.45. On a good night she will wake once anytime from 1am until5, then sleep til 7. On a bad night she will wake a couple of times. But I canā€™t complain she settles after feeding really well. Daytime naps are hitty missy, sometimes she is really good, other times agitated and whingy - on these days I walk - ALOT!!!

DAD - Iā€™m really sorry youā€™re having such a hard time, all I will say is it does get better, I promise. The first few months of Claudiaā€™s life were the hardest of mine!! SHe was tetchy, clingy and very hard to settle for any period. I spent much of her first four months with her asleep on my chest. DH worked nights too, and I went back to work - it was exhausting. But it didnā€™t last forever.

Louisman - Hope this is the start of Emmy sleeping better, itā€™s amazing what agood nights sleep can do for both mam and baby.

I will try and get back to others soon. This was a quick pop in.

But just to say - so glad weā€™re all still around for each other xx

15

Hey ladies, sorry my last post was full of typos. Hope you got the gist! Glad to hear things are bit better dad. What an adventure you have planned with your travels. I found known g where the service stations were enroute really helpful when travelling but because they as so little and only need milk or nappy changed it is not as stressful as youā€™d imagine!

Louismum and looloobelle-you are doing amazing with your routines. We have a routine that has been formed on hubbyā€™s working pattern and my ddā€™s preschool drop off and collection. It goes like thisā€¦

5.30 wake up, monty co-sleeps so me, monty and his daddy have cuddles and chat over coffee in bed. 6-6.30 dd wakes and joins us. I feed monty If he wants to and then express a few ounces for the milk bank.

6.20 shower whilst hubby sorts out bfast for dd and dresses her and monty.

7am I feed monty to sleep on sofa whilst eating bfast and supervising dd. hubby leaves for work.

8am monty wakes anytime from now. I finish getting us ready and put month in carrier to walk us to preschool.

9am return home, coffee, chores with monty in carrier if he lets me.

9.30 another feed to sleep on sofa and I catch up on emails and laptop stuff then Try and nap with him on sofa.

10.30 usually awake again. Nappy and play.

12noon grab a quick bite to eat and then feed again. Nap with monty if I can.

1.15pm get monty ready in carrier, walk to collect dd.

2pm return home-try to keep dd entertained. Monty lives watching her play which helps. Variety of crafts and Baking and some playing outside. Sometimes the park.

4pm start getting really tired and wishing hubby home soon.

5pm start getting tea ready for dd - never have time to do proper meal for us all.

5.30 hubby home and quick meal together at table.

6pm mont upstairs for nappy free time and bath.

6.45 dd upstairs for bath. Hubby usually does bath whilst I run around like crazy tidy up and clean.

7pm monty out of bath and into bed with me for feed to sleep.

7.30 downstairs for more cleaning and sorting and sometimes an online execute class.

10pm monty wakes for feed I go to bed with him.

12-feed

3-feed

4.30-feed

5.30 awake and day starts again.

Monty still wonā€™t settle in day unless I lie with him, just starting to stay longer on sofa without me and I junk this is because I nap with him there so he feels safe there.

Hates car seat And pram-hence the carriers.

Just started weaning-not keen on spoon and prefers the while fruit to gnaw on.

Sitting unaided with some cushions in case he wobbles. Rolls both ways and around the floor. Starting to get into position to crawl.

Cries if I put him down and leave the room.

5 mths and 2 days!

B xxxx

16

Wow Purl I canā€™t believe Monty is 5 months already!! Sounds like you have a routine that suits your circumstances and works for your family. That is all you can hope for imo. You are giving Monty the security he needs and going with his flow rather than trying to impose your routine on him which is admirable. What type of sling do you use now? Do you find your back aches after carrying him for naps at that age? I remember that well with ds. I have stopped the sling with Emmeline as she was getting heavy and I was getting really frustrated that she would wake up when I needed the loo which seemed to happen every time she was in the bloomin sling! What that means however is that she only naps for 45-50 mins max now as the sling sometimes used to get her through a sleep cycle into the next one with lots of jiggling and patting but in the cot she just wakes up and thats that. Tbh she seems to be fine with 45 min naps and always wakes up in a good mood so thinking she just doesnā€™t need longer than that at this stage (she has about 4 naps a day) Oh and we have found that a white noise app on the iphone (on aeroplane mode) next to Emmyā€™s ear whilst walking her in the pram gets her to sleep! She wouldnā€™t without it and itā€™s thanks to you for telling me about Monty and the kitchen fan!! She still HATES the car however, not cracked that one yetā€¦

Looloo good to hear from you! Sounds like you and Florence are doing really well. Also you did great to breastfeed for 3 months so there is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Do keep in touch with us on here, itā€™s great to share experiences!

Weā€™re back to nighttime wake ups again after a bllissful stretch of three long nights sleeping through. I know its normal but itā€™s almost worse when you think you might have turned a corner then go backwardsā€¦oh well, at least I know she can do it. Iā€™m still feeding her to sleep at bedtime as somehow i canā€™t break the habit and she is guaranteed to fall asleep. This means though as soon as she wakes she is looking for boob to get her back to sleep. One night dh managed to rock her back to sleep but has been a one night wonder so far. Have in laws staying right now so canā€™t really let her cry in the night but after theyā€™ve gone Iā€™m going to try and not feed her more than 3 hourly at night ie if she wakes after an hour weā€™ll try to find another way to get her back to sleep rather than bf. This also means I donā€™t have to do all the settling theoreticallyā€¦ As Em is in her own room now dh is getting better sleep so donā€™t feel bad about him getting up in the night on top of work anymore. She loves her cot and her new room and we donā€™t regret moving her in there for a moment. She still often ends up in our bed by the morning though!! Apart from that she is a lovely baby!! (didnā€™t think Iā€™d be saying that 6 weeks ago) She is pretty easygoing and smiles a lot and is happy to exercise on her mat whilst I potter around and get jobs done. She is still obsessed with sucking her fists but has yet to find her thumb. She has learnt to roll over onto her side and is a pretty strong baby;good head control etc. I am so much more relaxed about her and so happy that we turned the corner at 6-7 weeks and stayed turned! Still obsessed with taking pictures and videos of her as Iā€™m aware that I will never get this experience of having a baby again. Itā€™s such a weird feeling on the one hand wanting her to develop and grow bigger (sleep through the night ; ) and on the other wanting her to stay a baby forever cos sheā€™s so cute!

DAD how are you getting on?

xxx

17

Looloo! Great to have you back with us. Also, great to know about Florenceā€™s development. Purl, that is a nice routine you have with Monty. I would love to have even a glimpse of one but I find it so hard! Today Johan didnā€™t even have breakfast because of another colic crisis. I echo Louismum, 5 months! Wow! And, Louismum, I do sympathise with what you say, a part of me wants Johan to be as cute and small as he is, the othe part wants him to go to college tomorrow :lol: Well, seriously, I love to see the teethless smile, the cute tiny vests, the coos and I know that wonā€™t last long.

We are back from London. Friday we went to a nice restaurant, with baby, to celebrate another wedding anniversary. Johan behaved like an angel. He smiled, flirted, fed and slept. Not even one attempt to cry but the next day, during the birthday, he had one of his colics. It was a complete nightmare. He also cried like mad during the trip. There is a long part without any service station and Johan was so hungry. On the way back we were stopping at regular intervals before he would ask for food. I donā€™t think we will attempt another long journey in a near future.

Last week I took Johan to the Botanical Garden. It was one of my bad days so I thought I would enjoy the sun in a place where we wouldnā€™t bother anyone. As it happens, another mum spotted us. We started chatting of her baby related problems. She has a baby girl two weeks older than Johan, but much much smaller. She told me baby falls asleep as soon as she starts to feed, the milk production has gone down and the HV is harassing her because of the poor weight gain. She said she felt lonely and without self confidence and continuously having bad thoughts that will then produce guilt. Somehow I sympathise with a big part of her story (although my bonding has improved thanks to your advices). We exchanged phone numbers and said we will meet just to talk about baby problems. I remembered what Louismum said, my problems sound quite normal. I feel much more relaxed, mainly because I slept a lot during our journey. This week Johan has another check up. Lets see if someone takes my breast pain seriously this time.

XXOO

18

Dad you are sounding so much happier (even if you donā€™t feel it!) I should have said before that meeting other mums is THE no.1 best therapy for us new mums! I could not have for by without a mother and baby group I went to when ds was born; was able to talk about our problems to people who are going through it too. Still friends with lots of them too. Itā€™s great you met this other mum I hope it really helps. Sounds like your trip was mostly successful (anyone travelling with a baby would be stressed!) I remember first time we took dh away to London too. We were staying with sine friends and ds woke up howling every hour through the night keeping everyone awake. Horrendous! Have you done any hand/foot prints of Johan yet? Iā€™ve done some in clay of Emmelines and also cut a tiny but if baby hair to keep in her memories box. They grow up so fast.

I have just been asked to send so photos of myself to an agency who is doing an ad campaign about breastfeeding awareness. They will peruse my pics then if successful will go for photo shoot on two seperate days. Would be most lovely to have professional pics of me feeding my daughter but doubt if theyā€™ll choose me. Will keep you posted!

Emmy is still pretty settled right now and she seems to be thriving on this EASY routine. Iā€™ve not reall had to try to do it she has just naturally fallen into the pattern. Nighttime she is still sleeping 5-6 hours for the first stretch then she does another 2.5 then comes in with us around 6 where ee snooze together for an hour or so more. Was two more this morning and nearly made ds late for school! Even though she is waking twice I feel overall Iā€™m getting enough sleep. Am getting so used to it being broken up into chunks that not sure i could sleep through myself!! Still feeding to sleep at bedtime but not in the day. Trying to work out how/when to break that habit.

Hope everyone else is ok; purl, wadds, ob1?? Let us know how you and babies are doing!

Xxx

19

Hi!

Louismum, professional pictures? Wow! Congratulations! I really hope you are selected but even just being asked to do so is an honour! I hope you can keep a copy of the pictures.

I was a bit late to clip a lock of Johanā€™s hair. It was so black when he was born. Now it is changing to blond and as an overall, from the distance, it looks like mahogany. How did you manage to keep the hairs together? I thought of using some candle wax. As for the prints, a friend told me she truly regrets not doing so. I had forgotten all about it until now that you mention it. Did you buy a DIY kit or went to a specialist?

What Iā€™ve done (and as a recommendation from my GP) is write on a weekly basis his development. I paste (or rather staple) a picture for each week. It is amazing how different he looks now from when he was born.

Johan also falls asleep with the wonderful booby. That is the only way we get him to sleep. From 12 to 3 am, he sleeps in his basket. Most of the times he wakes up because of the vomit so I feed him in bed and after that we sleep while I am sitting so he can be in a vertical position. I am still horrified of cot death but otherwise we wouldnā€™t sleep. Two mums I have talk to said they did the same. I just keep the area clear of anything that might choke him (i.e. no other pillows than the ones behind me and the duvet is far from the nursing pillow). DH sleeps in the guest bedroom so Johan and I are in the middle of the bed. Iā€™ve gotten so used to sleep without him that I wonder if we will ever start trying for baby no 2. In the meantime, Iā€™m simply not in the mood for anything of that sort.

How is it going with the rest of you guys?

XXOO

20

Sorry DAD just me again! I used to sleep with ds on my chest at night because of vomit too, I think loads of people do it. I still settle Emmy on my chest after a night feed too but donā€™t fall asleep anymore as feeding in a rocking chair in her room. Thatā€™s a lovely idea to take a picture of Johan week by week (if you can remember to do it!) sometimes we canā€™t see the changes and it takes other people to notice how much theyā€™ve grown because they do change at a phenomenal rate in the first year! Thatā€™s why if ever there is a tough patch you have to say to yourself that it is just a stage and they will grow out of it. As for the handprint set I was given it as a present but it came from a well known baby shop beginning with an M. It came as a heart shaped tin with the clay inside and a little wooden rolling pin. Never too late to do it and you could probably find loads of similar things online. As for the hair, we wrapped it in a piece of kitchen towel then put it in a small envelope and wrote the date etc on the envelope.

Soā€¦ I was picked for the breastfeeding campaign!! Me and Emmy are going to be te face and boobs of breastfeeding in Northern Ireland! Itā€™s for the department of health so think it will be in doctors surgeries and hospitals etc. Am so excited to get professional photos done although cant imagine how it will take 8 hoursā€¦ Having them done on Friday and when they go on the website ill let you know so you can have a look!

As well as that being confirmed today we have had a lovely day! My mum was here and we went into town and took Emmy to hear her first orchestral concert! It was an hour long and I fed her some of the time and jiggled her on my knee the rest of the time. She was really good and lasted up to 5 mins before the end! Dh plays in the orchestra and so do I so it was lovely to see all my colleagues again too.

Hope everyone else has had a good day! Xx