IUI and ovarian ectopic

Pregnant After Ectopic Pregnancy
1

Hi there, i’m new to here. Didn’t know where else to turn to. I had ovarian ectopic pregnancy which ruptured at 4 wks mid September. I had 800mL of blood in my peritoneum and needed emergency operation. The funny thing was I didn’t know I was pregnant. This was my 1st IUI attempt and I had a few negative home PT in a row. Then I had bleeding 2.5 wks after my IUI so I thought it was my period the wk after. But on day 25 after my IUI I had the rupture. I didn’t know I was even pregnant until the day of my rupture. I was so shocked and sad cuz I know with my pelvic pain, the chances of an ectopic are high. So I think the took only part of my Rt ovary out, my tubes are fine. I tried googling and some say IUI doesn’t increase ectopic risks, my OBGYN and some other sites say they can, but no fixed quotes that they can give me.

Now my million dollar question is since I’m receiving IUI treatments, obviously I have fertility issues, but it’s of the unknown factor. My OBGYN said I can continue with the IUI after 2-3 normal period cycles. But i’m so scared. Even with natural pregnancy my risk is now increased. What if it’s even higher with my next IUI? I don’t know if I can go through this again, both physically and mentally. Does anyone have any advice for me?

I’m also going through the phases of grief. I’m so annoyed that ovarian pregnancy is so rare and that it still happened to some of us. It’s like I never win the lottery, not even those scratch tickets or raffle tickets. But THIS i get. I know i know, it’s random etc etc. It just sometimes feel like the universe is out to get you or to play a cruel joke on u. I don’t like seeing pregnancy ladies on the street, i know I’m sorry, or to discuss baby stuff with my already-pregnant friends. I don’t have any kids of my own and I don’t know if I ever will. But I hv frds who are upset because of their unplanned pregnancy and others who can pop kids out just like that. This is really frustrating. I know I sound like a horrible and mean person, but I can’t help it and I don’t know what to do about it.

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Dear xomcmug,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

You are right, ovarian ectopic pregnancies are rare and as you are under the care of fertility specialists, I would discuss future treatments with them.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We generally feel a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead however we never forget but we learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process - might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person, there is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal. Please be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.

We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It’s what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us “bad” people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

We are all here for you for as long as you need,

Sending much love,

Karen x

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