There is hope!

Hi Ladies,

This forum was a great help to me. In June 2014 (Father’s Day to be precise), I found out I was pregnant. Both myself and my husband were over the moon. A week later I started experiencing spotting, not a lot, but after a few days I started getting concerned. I had no other symptoms. I called my GP’s practice and they arranged for a GP to give me a call. He said the likelihood was I was experiencing a miscarriage and to wait a week and see what happened. The next day, I knew something just want right. I called the GP’s practice again and spoke to a lasy doctor who was much more sympathetic. She arranged for me to go for an early pregnancy scan at the EPU the following day.

On having the scan I got told my pregnancy was ectopic and in my left tube. Everything was a blur… I had heard of an ectopic pregnancy before but didn’t know what it meant. All I heard was that the baby wouldn’t survive. Next I had to play the waiting game with methotrexate. The day’s dragged and I was scared I was going to suffer internal bleeding. I started thinking about my own death. A week passed, numerous trips to the EPU waiting next to the antenatal ward. It was agonising watching pregnant women come in with their blue books, smiles on their faces. I can’t tell you how much I cried that week. My levels weren’t dropping. The consultant wouldn’t say it and I had to decide myself to have my left tube removed. Within minutes of telling my consultant what I had decided I had a canula in my arm and was sent to a ward to wait for 6 hours for surgery. When I woke from surgery I had a sense of relief, I didn’t have to be scared anymore. After the drugs had passed the realisation set in. I would struggle to get pregnant again, I had lost my baby. It took 18 months to come to terms with all that had happened and this site was a godsend. Everyday I would be googling or looking on here for good news stories trying to get hope for the future.

In July 2015 I felt mentally ready to try again. July passed and my period came. Then tried in August. Mid September I took a test, I was positive I could see the faintest of lines, my husband said I was seeing things and when I showed him he couldn’t see a thing. I kept using apps and taking pictures of the test to make it a negative image, I was so sure I could see a line. A couple of days passed and I had given up hope, despite this I kept taking tests throughout the day. I spend so much money on tests that month. Then on the morning of the 23rd September I took a test, left it to get ready for work. When I went back I was sure I could see a line… My husband at this point said he could see something. I waited until my lunch at work and got another test. The line was clear. I even went and bought a digital test and the word I had thought for 18 months I would never see appeared - ‘PREGANT’. I couldn’t believe it. I started to worry - would this be another ectopic pregnancy?..

I phoned the EPU and arranged an early scan for two weeks later when I would have been 6 weeks pregnant.

Those two weeks dragged. I couldn’t allow myself to get excited or attached to this baby. What if I had to lose it again, have my last tube removed?.

I sat waiting for my scan in the waiting area feeling sick to the stomach. The sonographer called us in. Within a couple of seconds of the internal scan I heard the words - ‘it’s in the right place’ - I was so relieved. As it was so early on they couldn’t confirm if the pregnacy was viable. I booked a private scan for 8 weeks and finally got to see the little heart fluttering.

The next 9 months was a constant worry. I paid for a 10, 16 and 28 week scan privately. Used a Doppler to check the baby’s heartbeat all the time, got paranoid over movement, then worried about stillbirth. I loved that baby inside me all I could but kept my attachment at arms length still incase I suffered a loss. Was so superstitious with buying things for the baby that everything stayed in its box or with its tag left on. Then 2 weeks overdue I was induced. On the 17th June 2016 we welcomed out baby boy into the world. I was in love instantly. I couldn’t believe I was holding our baby in my arms.

I know the pain and worry that an ectopic pregnancy brings and I want to give hope to anyone out there going through this at the moment and trying to get pregnant. I know how difficult it is and how the worry never ends. I trawled this site for hope and I want to give that back. You can come back from an ectopic pregnancy, it is possible to get pregnant with one tube. Our baby is living proof of that. The worry doesn’t stop. It’s natural. I wish all those trying the very best of luck. Hold on to your hopes and dreams X

When I thought I didn’t have anymore tears to cry, you have set me off again, what a wonderful story. I’m currently pregnant again after ectopic,had my early scan yesterday where I thought i was 6 weeks but they think I’m earlier than that as only saw sac and in the right place, just got to hope baby makes an appearance soon, like you said at the start of your pregnancy just hoping it’s too small to see. Just trying to remain hopeful!

Congratulations on becoming a mummy, hope your little boy is doing well. X x

Ahh congratulations! All will be fine. Are u going to wait until 12 week scan or get a private one? X

Well they gave me a scan yesterday where I thought I was 6+2 however scan only showed sac in uterus so they think I’m not 6 weeks, more like 4-5, they have taken bloods and if they are over 2000 they will rescan tomorrow if not they’ll rescan next week. Just want to see that baby in the sac but unfortunately I haven’t yet so fingers crossed for tomorrow which I’m feeling petrified about! Just show yourself baby! Can’t stand this waiting again! X x

Thank you so much for taking the time to tell your story. Hope is needed! I still have some most days but not everyday… Anyway, thank you and congratulations xxx

I also have my first scan tomorrow at 6+5 so this has given me lots of hope. I’ve been worrying as I have no pregnancy symptoms whatsoever but I have to remind myself that with the eptopic I had pain and bleeding so this is surely better. I feel sick at the moment so can’t imagine how I will feel tomorrow. Really glad it all worked out for you and thank you for sharing this as it gives lots of others hope xx

If it helps, I had less of any pregnancy symptoms with my baby. Had more with the ectopic pregnancy x

That does help - thank you. Just a waiting game now…

Good luck today nicola! Let me know how u get on X

Thank you. I will do - I feel terrified. X

All went well - it’s in the right place and we saw the heartbeat. I am measuring slightly behind on dates but they said that’s normal and my next scan will be used as a dating scan. Now just to get to my 12 week scan and all will be ok. Xx

Congratulations!! X

Just re reading this and I need some positive thoughts. Had my scan at 6 weeks and all looked well but I am so terrified of having a miscarriage or even worse a silent miscarriage - I still at 8 weeks along have no symptoms whatsoever and have booked a private scan for next week as I can’t wait another 4 weeks feeling how I do. I keep thinking get to this next scan and then you will feel better but I know I am going to just worry myself silly every step of the way. Hope you are doing well. X

So it’s been nearly 2 years since I had a ectopic pregnancy and my body is finally showing signs of fertility we been trying for a very long time to conceive but in the back of my mind your always going to worry when is the best time to conceive during the window as I want to reduce the risk as much As I can my docs and hospital are no help so I’m hoping one of you amazing woman cud point in the right direction xx

Dear Claire88,

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget our babies, but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things.

I wish I could give more precise information, but as I do not have access to your and your partner’s medical records, it is difficult for me to provide specific details. Generally, we and many healthcare professionals advise keeping a healthy balanced diet, maintaining a healthy weight and abstaining from alcohol and smoking.

Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months. In addition, I thought I would mention that having regular sex means having sex every 2/3 days throughout the month. Guidance from the UK’s National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence advises that having sex around the time when the woman ovulates causes stress and is not recommended. We here at the EPT suggest having intercourse 2/3 times between days 10-20 of their cycle when trying to conceive. We also have information on our website on trying to conceive here:

https://ectopic.org.uk/patients/trying-to-conceive/

Sending much love,

Karen x

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