Hi Ladies,
This forum was a great help to me. In June 2014 (Father’s Day to be precise), I found out I was pregnant. Both myself and my husband were over the moon. A week later I started experiencing spotting, not a lot, but after a few days I started getting concerned. I had no other symptoms. I called my GP’s practice and they arranged for a GP to give me a call. He said the likelihood was I was experiencing a miscarriage and to wait a week and see what happened. The next day, I knew something just want right. I called the GP’s practice again and spoke to a lasy doctor who was much more sympathetic. She arranged for me to go for an early pregnancy scan at the EPU the following day.
On having the scan I got told my pregnancy was ectopic and in my left tube. Everything was a blur… I had heard of an ectopic pregnancy before but didn’t know what it meant. All I heard was that the baby wouldn’t survive. Next I had to play the waiting game with methotrexate. The day’s dragged and I was scared I was going to suffer internal bleeding. I started thinking about my own death. A week passed, numerous trips to the EPU waiting next to the antenatal ward. It was agonising watching pregnant women come in with their blue books, smiles on their faces. I can’t tell you how much I cried that week. My levels weren’t dropping. The consultant wouldn’t say it and I had to decide myself to have my left tube removed. Within minutes of telling my consultant what I had decided I had a canula in my arm and was sent to a ward to wait for 6 hours for surgery. When I woke from surgery I had a sense of relief, I didn’t have to be scared anymore. After the drugs had passed the realisation set in. I would struggle to get pregnant again, I had lost my baby. It took 18 months to come to terms with all that had happened and this site was a godsend. Everyday I would be googling or looking on here for good news stories trying to get hope for the future.
In July 2015 I felt mentally ready to try again. July passed and my period came. Then tried in August. Mid September I took a test, I was positive I could see the faintest of lines, my husband said I was seeing things and when I showed him he couldn’t see a thing. I kept using apps and taking pictures of the test to make it a negative image, I was so sure I could see a line. A couple of days passed and I had given up hope, despite this I kept taking tests throughout the day. I spend so much money on tests that month. Then on the morning of the 23rd September I took a test, left it to get ready for work. When I went back I was sure I could see a line… My husband at this point said he could see something. I waited until my lunch at work and got another test. The line was clear. I even went and bought a digital test and the word I had thought for 18 months I would never see appeared - ‘PREGANT’. I couldn’t believe it. I started to worry - would this be another ectopic pregnancy?..
I phoned the EPU and arranged an early scan for two weeks later when I would have been 6 weeks pregnant.
Those two weeks dragged. I couldn’t allow myself to get excited or attached to this baby. What if I had to lose it again, have my last tube removed?.
I sat waiting for my scan in the waiting area feeling sick to the stomach. The sonographer called us in. Within a couple of seconds of the internal scan I heard the words - ‘it’s in the right place’ - I was so relieved. As it was so early on they couldn’t confirm if the pregnacy was viable. I booked a private scan for 8 weeks and finally got to see the little heart fluttering.
The next 9 months was a constant worry. I paid for a 10, 16 and 28 week scan privately. Used a Doppler to check the baby’s heartbeat all the time, got paranoid over movement, then worried about stillbirth. I loved that baby inside me all I could but kept my attachment at arms length still incase I suffered a loss. Was so superstitious with buying things for the baby that everything stayed in its box or with its tag left on. Then 2 weeks overdue I was induced. On the 17th June 2016 we welcomed out baby boy into the world. I was in love instantly. I couldn’t believe I was holding our baby in my arms.
I know the pain and worry that an ectopic pregnancy brings and I want to give hope to anyone out there going through this at the moment and trying to get pregnant. I know how difficult it is and how the worry never ends. I trawled this site for hope and I want to give that back. You can come back from an ectopic pregnancy, it is possible to get pregnant with one tube. Our baby is living proof of that. The worry doesn’t stop. It’s natural. I wish all those trying the very best of luck. Hold on to your hopes and dreams X