The worst feeling

Pregnant After Ectopic Pregnancy
1

Hi all,

I had an ectopic pregnancy last august and ended up having surgery to remove my tube with the ectopic pregnancy in. Before that I have suffered through two miscarriages.

I missed my period last week and I’ve been putting it off as I was waiting for it to go wrong again but my anxiety got the better of me yesterday and I knew I had to do a test. I was scared of the test like it’s the tests that cause things to go wrong almost. Its positive and I just cried.

I called my local early pregnancy unit as I was advised too when I had my ectopic and they have asked me to go to my doctors surgery for a blood test so we can get a better idea of how far along I am.

Another waiting game. I feel like I’m always just waiting for my pregnancies to not last. I’m waiting to find blood every time I use the toilet. I’m waiting to wake up in the mornings bleeding. This is honestly just pure and constant fear. It feels like there’s no help. I am in pieces and really struggling with everything. I’ve called in sick to work. I can’t even bring myself to put the tele on or anything I just want to cry and cry and cry.

I thought writing this may help but I just feel like I’m spreading misery. I’m just hoping there’s someone that I can talk to about it.

Emily x

2

Hi Emily,

Reading your post was as if I wrote it myself as I feel exactly the same.

My story is pretty much the same as yours I had two miscarriages and then an ectopic pregnancy. I haven’t long found out I am pregnant again and I’m driving myself insane with worry. I’ve put off going to the doctors cause I’m just waiting for it all to go wrong, dreading each time going to the toilet, overthinking everything little feeling.

It’s horrible going through all of this but just know your not alone. I hope everything goes well for you.

Az x

3

Hi Az,

How are you feeling?

I’ve had an early scan yesterday and although it’s not ectopic everything feels worse. I’m so anxious I feel like I’m just not coping at all.

Emily xxx

4

Hey Emily,

Im ok thanks, just waiting for the worst to happen. I feel bad about being so pessimistic about something that should bring me joy!

Awh bless, didn’t the early scan give you any reassurance? I think your coping the best you know how there’s no instruction manual on how to feel in these situations.

Since my ectopic pregnancy last year I’ve wanted to get pregnant again but never did I imagine that when I did I would be such an emotional mess about it but I’m going to take each day as it comes.

Sure is nice to have someone to talk to who has had the same experience and gets it :slight_smile:

Az x

5

Happy to swap email addresses or phone numbers if you want to talk anytime.

It’s horrible isn’t it the same here we have been trying two years and had the losses and now we potentially have what we want it feels horrible, I’m not excited and I’m waiting for something bad to happen. It feels so ungrateful.

I’ve got morning sickness now which is reassuring me more than the scan.

Emily x

6

Dear Emily and Azileah,

Whispered congratulations on your pregnancies,

I know exactly how you feel. I think one of the ‘many’ things that upset me about ectopic pregnancy was the fact it robbed me of any excitement of finding out I was pregnant again. I am so sorry you are going through this worry.

After an ectopic pregnancy, finding we are pregnant again can be a mix of emotions and I can completely understand your feeling nervous. It is perfectly normal to feel scared. With my next pregnancy, my mind started racing and I was only really able to relax to some degree after my early scan. It is a nerve-wracking time and you have friends here who understand how you are feeling.

Sending much love and positive thoughts,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

7

Thank you Karen for your message! I’m starting to feel a bit more hopeful as I’m being really really really sick. It’s horrible there’s so much guilt about feeling horrible too.

8

That will be lovely Emily to keep in touch :slightly_smiling_face:

I’m glad something is giving you reassurance hopefully soon all this worry will be behind you and you can start to get excited it.

I’m still waiting to be booked in for an early scan but as usual I’m all doom and gloom about it.

Thank you for your kind words Karen :slightly_smiling_face:

Az x

9

Hi Az, I did send you my details through here as an email haven’t heard from you so just wanted to say that I hope you’re all ok and all is well with you.

Emily x