Tomorrow would have been the day that we finally got to meet you , I can’t believe it has come so quickly. I wanted to write to you now as it is always at night that I feel close to you even though I know that you are another world away.
Take care my angelcake , I wish with all my heart that I could have welcomed you into the world and held you in my arms but I know now that it wasn’t meant to be.
I will never stop thinking about what could have been and loving you dearly.
Take care in heaven my beautiful baby
Mummy xxxxx
Thinking if you angelcake.
xxxx
I wish more than anything that you could be here to share what would have been your first Christmas with me and Daddy. I think of you when I see the fairy lights and angels on top of the trees.
Merry Christmas my little angelcake. I will be thinking about you as always.
All the love in the world.
Mummy xxx
Hello my little Angelcake ,
Daddy’s friend Nick joined you on Sunday, take good care of each other as he wasn’t ready to go and may be scared.
Thinking of you and loving you always.
Mummy x
Hello my litte Angelcake,
I am just sitting here and was thinking about you. I cant believe it will a year next month since I lost you. I feel sad about it today and just want the date to be here so I can have an excuse to be sad and have a cry !
You were made on valentines day, so it will always be special to me. I’m not sure we will be blessed with another surprise this year.
Thinking of you always
Mummy x
To my special Angelcake,
I have been thinking about you so much lately , I guess that only makes sense being that it is nearly a year since we lost you. It doesn’t get any easier , I really thought that by now I would have started to feel better and come to terms with losing you but I haven’t - not one bit.
I think about what you would have been like and who you would have looked like. It hurts so much that I never got to find out.
I have learnt that even though you are in heaven it’s still ok for me think of myself as your mummy.
You are always in my thought’s and my heart aches for you.
With love , your mummy xxxx
A year tomorrow since I lost you, nothing has been the same since.
You are with me always Angelcake
Mummy xxxx
I thought writing a message to you last night would be enough , but I just need to acknowledge today.
I cant believe this time last year I was on my way to theatre after only knowing you existed for 6 days. Right up until the last second I thought they were going to tell me that it was a mistake and actually everything was fine - but I never heard those words. I didnt have time to say goodbye , and that feeling will always stay with me.
I dont know why you were taken in the way you were , and I also dont know why my body failed and has done so ever since - these are questions I ask myself every day.
I am so glad that the sun is shining today as it makes me feel that somewhere ,somehow you are thinking of me too.
With love
Mummy x
Bad day today , no particular reason , just wishing I wasn’t without you. The trying then waiting is getting harder and harder every month and I need to find the strength from somewhere to keep on trying, I am hoping that wherever you are you can somehow reach out and show me that one day it will all be worth it.
Always in my thoughts and never far away Angelcake.
xxxxx
I just want you to know that I am seeing the signs you are sending (daddy believes it too which is a huge step for him !!) , when I see it my heart feels warm and I feel the love that you and your grand nannies are sending me. I have never needed it more than I do now , but maybe you already know that.
You are never far from my thoughs my little Angelcake.
Love your Mummy xxx
I’m being brave sweetheart for what feels like the first time since losing you.
This is the hardest part to let go. Speaking to you here makes me feel close to you , and I am worried that not having this opportunity is going to make me feel like I am saying goodbye to you all over again. I know you understand my reasons and know that it is time. I have learnt more about myself from you than anyone who has ever entered my life before or since so ,although I never got to see you or hold you in my arms , you will always be a part of what makes me me.
Just know that you are with me every second of every minute of every day and I will continue to speak to you in my heart and love you always.
Be brave my little Angelcake and I will be too.
Your ever loving mummy xxx
Wow , another year has gone by.
It would have been your first birthday tomorrow and I am just about to light your candle.
My heart still aches for you Angelcake.
Mummy xxx
Time is passing so quickly . I cant believe I am wishing you merry Christmas once again. I would do anything to have you here, i think you would have been a snow bunny like your cousin Kai !
Well, Merry Christmas my darling . I wish you were here with Daddy and me , but I will have to be content with carrying you in my heart.
With much love always
Mummy xxxx
Happy New Year Angel.
Please watch over me next week angelcake- I need you like never before.
Lots of love and new year snuggles
Mummy xxx
Hello sweet pea.
It’s been a wonderful and exciting day , but also tinged with sadness as it has made me think of you so much and wish that we had the chance to see you in the right place too.
I’m so sorry that we couldnt do this with you , but I promise that I will make the most of every single day and give everything I have to this little one and I just know you are seeing it all and are happy.
I am carrying you in my heart , and therefore so is this little beanie .
Love Mummy xxx
Just sending a cuddle your way.
Thinking of you
xxx
Hello my sweet sweet Angel,
It was 2 years ago today that we lost you , and yesterday we heard that your little sister will be joining you soon too. Please show her the way and keep her safe. It comforts me to know you will be together looking out for one another.
I miss you terribly , and feel my heart breaking into a million peices all over again.
Love Mummy xx
Thinking of you , missing you and loving you both.
Take care up there my beautiful babies, please love and look out for one another.
I love you both dearly,
Mummy xxxx
I have just been talking about you both so was drawn to come and say hi.
So hello my beautiful angel babies. I miss you more than words could ever express.
Mummy xx
I’m holding you close my precious angels and thinking about you all the time.
It hurts not to have you here
Mummy x