I don’t really know why I’ve found myself here, writing these thoughts out, maybe today it seems like a good idea, maybe tomorrow it won’t.
To my first angel, wow! you would of been 10 now, and I’d of been packing you off to secondary school soon! That just doesn’t seem possible, I wonder what you would of been like, I wonder where you are now and what your’e doing. I wonder if I would of been able to help you with your homework(probably not). I wonder if you would of looked like me(naturally) and I’ve never stopped thinking of you, not for a moment. You’ll always be my first, even though we were only together for 6 weeks, we were together. Remember when you left us, Daddy bought me a cd, and everytime I hear that I think of you, I hope you are looking after our baby angels and making them laugh. Then you sent me two beautiful miracles, one after the other(literally) and as you probably know they are the light of my life. I am so lucky to have them, and even when they are driving me to distraction, I only have to tuck those little angels up in bed and my heart melts all over again. I will alwys be so grateful for them.
To my second angel, my angel who lost it’s way. We were together for 9 weeks. I knew it wasn’t right where you were, amd there was nothing I could do. You would of been 4 now, and I know your two big brothers would of loved you so much. I will never know why you got stuck where you did, that day was one of the worst of my life. That week I spent in hospita; after you left me, I hope you didn’t think I had forgotten you, Mummy has a special way of dealing with being sad and its called make everybody else laugh, and also included making a whole ward of ladies go on a midnight walk in thr hospital to find chocolate. I hadn’t thrn and never will forget you. I hope you are with Tich as she left here a few weeks before you, and I know she will be looking after you and telling you the story about me going ‘pump up in the air’. Sleep tight sweet angel.
To my third angel, at first I didn’t know you were there, and just as I did you left. I’m so sorry for that. I wonder everyday if it was something I did or didn’t do, I guess I’ll never know. Two weeks after our little Harry left us aswell, I hope he found you, he was mummy’s special fluffy cat baby. He used to sleep in the middle of Mummy and Daddy, and was such a character, I hope he’s ok now and with you all. I wanted you so much, I couldn’t believe this was happening again. I expect one day, when Im with you all again, it will be explained for me to understand. Sleep tight sweet angel.
I hope your’e all together and being good to one another. I expect nanny Bill is with you, singing Shakin stevens and keeping you in order, she was like my Mummy, and I know she’ll be a good Mummy to you, until I’m with you again. Please hold my hand this week as Mummy is feeling a little sad. If there was another angel today, please take them into your arms and look after them for me, I know you will. Today Im very sad, but maybe tomorrow I’ll be ok.
Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx