I have recently had an ectopic pregnancy and had my right tube removed. This is after 3 miscarriages, one of which I hemorrhaged during. The ectopic pregnancy was the final chance and so wr have made the decision to stop trying. I feel guilty to my child that they will be an only child. And I worry about what to tell them if they ever ask for a sibling, or why they don’t have one. I don’t want to lie but I don’t necessarily think they need to know everything. Keen to know tips from others on this subject.
Hi Natben,
I am so sorry to hear that you have suffered these losses. They are physical and emotional traumas, leaving us with so many questions. I will do my best to help.
Finding the right way to discuss this within your family is important. A year after my two ruptured ectopics, I conceived a daughter. I knew she would be an only child. As she grew and asked questions, I found age-appropriate language to describe how pregnancy works and doesn’t work sometimes. In our case, seven and a half years later and very settled with one child, I wound up accidentally pregnant (in my 40s!).
Through that process, and with her being older, she understood she was our fourth try at having a baby, and the new baby was #6. I found it important for her to know that pregnancy has challenges. As she grows into puberty, she has heard the term miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy without knowing all the details. For me, educating the next generation is an important part of helping leave a legacy.
I hope that helps in some ways. Please know you are not alone in this journey; we are here for as long as needed.
With good wishes,
Michele
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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