Second Ectopic Pregnancy

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Hi ,

I have recently had my second ectopic pregnancy , the first resulted in me loosing a Fallopian tube and the second , I have lost my other Fallopian tube because the tube had ruptured. My second ectopic was 4 weeks ago and while physically I feel back to normal I have good and bad days emotionally . I am fortunate enough to have a 5 year old little boy , but we were keen to add to our family .

My consultant has said that I have a good chance that IVF would be a good option and hopefully successful .

Since my recent ectopic pregnancy one of my best friends and sister in law have announced pregnancies , this has hit a little hard even though I am genuinely pleased for them as neither of them have managed to get pregnant easily . I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what coping mechanisms they used ?

The second ectopic has definitely been far more traumatic, than the first and left me wondering whether IVF and another baby is for me .

Thanks for allowing me the space to discuss this xx

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Hi Sarah1983+,

I am so sorry to hear that you’ve suffered a second ectopic pregnancy and loss. I had two as well, and I know how physical recovery can be much quicker than the emotional one.

We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancies, I had friends and family who were announcing their pregnancies. I didn’t understand why I had it so difficult when some people found it so easy. For a while, I needed time to myself and that was absolutely okay. This does not make us “bad” people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can help the healing process. We operate a helpline service, and if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however, you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancies it caused me to reconsider my plans for the future. While there’s no time frame for recovery, over time and little by little, things being to appear more normal. This does not mean we forget, but that we find the path forward. However, this needs to come in its own time and when you are ready. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team