Struggling following second ectopic

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I’m 4 weeks post my second ectopic pregnancy and I’ve gone down hill so much this past week. Initially it was just surgery and pain related and that was manageable but now I’m just mentally exhausted, crying all the time and thinking why did this happen again. It’s very rare to happen twice and in the scar of the old one.

I don’t think it’s helped that I had to go back to the clinic now twice to have my hcg levels checked.

I just keep thinking back and remembering both the times in hospital being rushed to theatre it’s all become one big blur.

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this

Did you have tubes removed ?

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Hi Gem,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, you are so incredibly strong. Give yourself time to grieve and let it out. I’m making some assumptions but your first ectopic was treated with MTX? And then the second was stuck in the scar of the first one and subsequently treated with surgery?

I think, and the hosts can correct me, but my doctor said that having 1 tube only decreases fertility by 10%, if that, so I am manifesting (whenever you are ready) a healthy pregnancy and baby for your next time!

I have just had the one ectopic and was treated with MTX and discharged mid Jan. I thought I was getting past the trauma of it but turning 31 on Wednesday has crushed me that I still have no children and all of my friends are pregnant, newborns, baby showers, it’s been such HEAVY and triggering content that it’s coming up to 3 months since first discovering I was pregnant and I am a complete and utter mess :frowning:

You’re not alone, we’re all here for you in this worst girl gang ever (also a great insta account to follow if you don’t already) and always here for you! Sending love xxx

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Dear Gem,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

You have been through such a huge amount in a really short space of time, it is completely understandable to feel the way you do.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy (especially for the second time) can be really overwhelming and traumatic and it can take up to 3 months to even begin to process traumatic events.

After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women also find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD). Symptoms can include anxiety, flashbacks and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need. There are specific counsellors who specialise in PTSD, and it maybe worth a referral to speak to someone if your down days are outweighing the good. Sometimes journalling may also help express what cannot be put into verbal words.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We also have more support services, We can exchange emails, have telephone calls and zoom one to one of support groups, as well as support on this forum. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need. Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

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Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

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Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

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