Second Ectopic

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Hi, I’ve never posted on a forum before but thought this time round it might help. I had my second ectopic pregnancy and had emergency surgery and a blood transfusion early hrs on Weds.

My first ectopic was in 2010 and I thought they had removed my tube, well that’s what I was told. I had my daughter in 2014 and then by shock fell pregnant. So when I was told in A&E that it was ectopic I just presumed it was the other tube. But after surgery I was told the tube I thought was removed (previous ectopic), hadn’t been and part of it was left!

I am devastated over the loss of another child, and this time round I’ve been quite poorly and was told if I wasn’t in hospital I would have probably died! I collapsed numerous times at the hospital and then i was rushed into theatre. Just feel in shock about everything since I’ve come home. I had keyhole last time and healed quick physically but mentally took me a while. This time round I’ve had surgery and in agony!

I didn’t get any help last time or even talk about it to anyone. I just tried to ignore it and get on with everything but this time round I know I need to talk for the sake of not only myself but for my daughter and partner. I can’t help but blame myself and I feel so heartbroken.

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Dear HS_19,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. You have been through a huge amount in such a short space of time and it is very normal to feel overwhelmed. From your words, I can imagine how frightening the experience must have been and I am sorry you have had to go though this.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.

You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.

We will be here for you for as long as you need,

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

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Thank you for your kind words and advice. That’s made a big difference to me.

Thank you again x