Hi everyone sat up home feeling like a failure because we had told my 3 year old I was pregnant, we found out it was ectopic on the 8th job at 7 and a half weeks and I hate myself for telling her so on she would be a big sister we had waited so long I was bursting with excitement and now I hate myself for putting her through this, I don’t know if I’m telling her the right things or making it worse , we’ve tried to be as honest as you can with a 3 year old, My heart just breaks for her I feel like a failure 
Dear Gina1688,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
I must firstly emphasise that you are not a failure. Sadly there is nothing we can do to prevent ectopic pregnancy. Almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves, from the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame.
I am by no means an expert on how to talk to young children, but telling her the truth will help I’m sure.
Please take care of yourself, allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally. There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
Hi Karen thankyou so much for taking the time to reply to me! Thankyou for your kind words , i never knownwether I’m saying or doing the right thing and reading your reply has helped me to stop doubting myself! Thankyou very much it is greatly appreciated x