I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am pregnant for the fourth time – no baby to show for it yet. Over the last 2 years, I have gone through two EPs (left tube, managed first by MTX and then tube removal surgery) and a missed miscarriage (occurred at 8 weeks, symptomatic/completed at 12-13 weeks).
My third pregnancy was the first one that wasn’t ectopic, and the wait for that 5.5 week US was absolutely, excruciatingly stressful. The outcome of that pregnancy added a fear of carrying a dead embryo to my list of pregnancy concerns…
I can say that the wait for my first US this time felt less excruciating than the last. I waited longer to do a pregnancy test because my partner and I were travelling, and I think that lack of certainty (I knew my period was late, but wasn’t sure if it was because of a pregnancy or not) helped alleviate the intensity of the stress. It was a nice relief to learn that the pregnancy once again implanted where it should.
I thought the women on this forum might be interested to know that I had a HyCoSy US done last fall (after my miscarriage) which showed my only remaining tube as completely blocked. It left me in a bit of limbo as I waited to be able to talk to a gynecologist about the results (months of waitlist…), as I felt this probably suggested a higher risk of ectopic – especially since I never knew what was wrong with my now removed tube where I had the two ectopics. I don’t feel that I can provide a clear explanation for the test results, but what I do know for sure if that the result was not accurate for me; I only have one tube and my current pregnancy did make it into my uterus. I guess I wanted to share that for anyone out there waiting to discuss test results, but also for anyone wondering whether to get more testing done in the first place. I pursued it because I wanted to get reassurance that things were ok (or notice if things might not be), and for me it really didn’t achieve either of these purposes. Living with the uncertainty and fear might be an unavoidable part of our experience after going through an EP and perhaps something that we have to learn to live with through other means (counselling have been huge for me).
Enough rambling – I guess that leaves me here reassured that I won’t have to experience another EP, and carefully optimistic that maybe this one time things will turn out well. Fingers crossed…
Thank you for sharing your story with us, and I am so sorry that you have suffered these multiple losses. Sharing similar experiences, I know that some of our journey of pregnancy is about grappling with the uncertainty and fear after everything we’ve gone through.
I’m sending whispered congratulations on this pregnancy, and I hope you can take some time for yourself and go slow right now. The most important thing you can do is look after yourself and take one step at a time.
Please know that we are here for you throughout your journey and for as long as you need.
With good wishes,
Michele
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
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Thank you for the kind words, Michele. I really appreciate your and Karen’s kind and ever present support. I am very grateful for the EPT, which has been an incredibly important support through the last 2 years.
My second (dating) US is in 2 days - hoping to see a nice little heartbeat then.
Dear CamLe,
I also echo Michele’s words and am sending so much positivity your way for your scan in a few days. I wish I could speed up time sometimes!
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
Thank you for the lovely thoughts, Karen. My ultrasound went well, heartbeat and size look good. So hopeful for now, though it’s hard to turn off my mind about the possibility of my missed miscarriage experience happening again. I’m working on getting a follow up US scheduled in 2 weeks to get reassurance on how things are progressing. Fingers crossed…
Dear CamLe,
This news completely warms my heart, thank you for letting us know how you got on.
I know exactly what you mean though, i worried until I had further scans. I truly hope your next scan gives you more reassurance so that you can hopefully start enjoying your pregnancy.
We will be thinking of you and will be sending so much positivity,
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team