Success Story After Ectopic

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
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Hi Ladies,

It feels like such a long time since I’ve visited the boards, the whole website has changed (looks lovely!) and all of the names are different - fills me with mixed emotions, sorrow as there are so many newbies going through this but also hope that there has been good news for those that have moved on or at least that they have found some kind of peace.

I just wanted to come and share my success story as I know how helpful I found them after my ectopic a few years ago.

So, my story goes:

My Husband and I had been married for 6 years, we’d always wanted a family but were waiting for ‘the right time’. In the summer of 2011 we decided that we should just go ahead and start trying, what were we waiting for really?! 3 days before Christmas I had some abnormal bleeding and cramping on my left side, I thought nothing of it as my periods had been a bit all over the place since coming off the pill. I took some paracetamol and went to bed. The next day Hubby went to work as normal and I called in sick as I really didn’t feel well. By lunchtime I was doubled over in pain, was lightheaded, felt faint and nauseous. I called my Husband and asked him to come home as something just wasn’t ‘right’. He tried to get me to the car to take me to hospital but I couldn’t get up, a first responder came and told me it was a ‘tummy bug and there was lots going round’, I had to wait 45mins for an ambulance. By the time it came my blood pressure was 54/70…At the hospital, after lots of tests and scans, they said I was around 9 weeks pregnant and that I needed surgery. It all went by in a blur, I was in and out of consciousness, not really knowing what was going on. I woke up in recovery having lost our baby and my left fallopian tube.

The following months were pretty horrendous. I was in so much pain, physically and emotionally. I blamed myself, for not knowing I was pregnant (how could I not know, what kind of Mother would that have made me anyway!), for not knowing there was something wrong sooner, for losing our baby, for my body failing, and now not knowing what the future held for us, why would my Husband want to stay with me when I can’t give him the child he longs for. I remember looking at pregnant women/new Mums with such venom, why them and not me?! I missed a good chunk of my Sister’s pregnancy and the beginning of my Nephew’s life as I just couldn’t face being around them.

My Husband was my rock. We’d talk for hours, reliving our horror and just holding each other crying. Talking really helped, nothing was bottled up. Then I found these forums and the support from the ladies that had been through the same or similar, had the same thoughts/feelings - I wasn’t alone, I wasn’t crazy!

We started trying again April 2012 and our baby boy was born January 2014. We didn’t have to wait as long as some, although it felt like a lifetime, and we didn’t need any help - my lonely little right tube did it all by itself, isn’t the human body amazing?! - I know we are very lucky and I feel overwhelmingly blessed every time I look at him.

I just want to say please don’t give up hope, you are never alone.

Baby dust to you all,

BumSqueak23

A few of my favourite sayings:

‘When the world says give up, hope whispers…try it one more time’

‘Out of difficulties grow miracles’

‘Don’t lose hope. When the sun goes down, the stars come out’

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Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am came on here today as lately I have been feeling very hopeless and despondent and your message has lifted me up again.

My first very long awaited-pregnancy ended in a ruptured ectopic this May, a traumatic experience, few trips to A and E and being told I had gastro even after I collapsed at home. We very positive through it all and I felt very optimistic when we started trying again, however after 5 months and no luck I have been feeling like it is never going to happen! I find myself more teary than ever, everyday I bury it and appear like I am happy and well but inside I’m not. When I think about conceiving now I get a wave of panic and despair about it never happening, I get the same feelings every time another friend calls to me their happy news. I get angry when friends tell me how disappointed they are after not conceiving in their first month of trying. Is it normal to feel this upset months down the line? More so than in the beginning?

Baby dust to all you ladies xx

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Thank you for sharing

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Hi Nessie,

I’m glad my story gave you the lift you needed.

I found the disappointment month after month hard to deal with, when you’ve done everything you ‘should’ and still nothing happens, it’s really disheartening. The more time that passes the more upset/anxious you get so I would say yes it is quite normal, you’re in this state of limbo, not knowing what’s going to happen. Keep talking to your partner, don’t suffer alone.

I know what you mean about friends being impatient or those that get pregnant just from looking at each other, but try to concentrate on your own journey. Do anything you need to make yourself feel good, if that means stepping away for a bit then do so :slight_smile:

I got pregnant pretty much a year to the day we started trying again and I was absolutely terrified! The midwife was useless but the epu at the hospital were fantastic - I don’t think I stopped worrying until he arrived! I didn’t find out until recently but one of my ‘associates’ had an ectopic pregnancy with tube removal and she’s now pregnant with her third! One of my relatives has a friend who also had an ep with tube removal and her little girl is almost two, so please please don’t give up hope…easy for me to say now, I know, but miracles do happen!

BumSqueak xx