Hi,
I posted on here last year following an ectopic pregnancy i suffered in April. I had to have emergency surgery and my right Fallopian tube removed as my pregnancy had started to rupture - it was all a bit of a blur as i didn’t know that i was pregnant in the first place, i just thought it was a long period! I ended up having 3 months off of work to recover mentally and physically and we waited 3 cycles to start trying again. I fell pregnant again in August 2016 and was happy although i didn’t allow myself to get ahead of myself as i just had a feeling it would not be a viable pregnancy. i ended up miscarrying the pregnancy about 2 weeks after i found out and it was a really upsetting time for me.
I now find myself at the start of a new year still trying to conceive and worried that i am going to end up in a bad place and feel very depressed. My partner and I are still trying to conceive and on taking friends advise have tried to just relax and let it happen naturally, however the problem with that is this is all i think about, and everyone around me seems to be pregnant.
I have made an appointment at my doctors to see whether there are any tests i could have to check whether everything is ok and to see how i move on after this.
I was just wondering if anybody had been through the same and have any advise?
thank you
Elizabeth 
I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through Elizabeth. All I can say is try to keep strong avd know it will happen. We have been trying for 7 years now, got pregnant in 2014 and miscarried, then 2015 had an ectopic and now nearly 2 years later pregnant again with yet another ectopic.
Good to see if you can get your tubes checked too.
Hi Elizabeth,
Your experience is similar to mine. I found out I was expecting in February last year and I know straight away it wasn’t good as I had been bleeding for 2 weeks and was eventually treated for PUl with methotrexate. After a 3 month wait we started trying again and I feel pregnant in July. We had our 6 week scan and all was in the right place with a heartbeat, I went to a follow up scan at 10 weeks and was told there was. I cardio activity. I went on to miscarry a few days later. We waited a cycle and started trying to conceive again. 4 cycles later I found out I was pregnant (Christmas Day) I went on to miscarry around 5 days after this.
I have been sent a referral to the reoccurring miscarriage clinic and I am due to have a range of blood tests done, however I can’t have this done until my second cycle after yje miscarriage and I am still waiting for my first.
Everyone around me is pregnant, best friends, family members and I am so happy for them but it’s hard as I wonder when it will be our turn and why we had to go through this hell of losing 3 babies in less than a year.
If you want to talk then I am here. Talking to people on here has been a real help to me and I’m trying to stay positive and hope that at some point we get out happy ending.
Take care xx
Hi Nicola1720 & replace,
thank you so much for replying to me, it means a lot. I am trying to stay off these forums as i am trying to get back to normal and get on with things but wanted to have a quick look to see if anybody had replied to my post and you both did so thank you.
I booked a doctors appointment last week to go and talk to the doctor to tell her how i am feeling and to get some advise and reassurance really! the doctor was sympathetic to me and was really lovely (i saw her both times after my ectopic and miscarriage) and said that because i have been pregnant in the last year there is nothing she can do for me in the shape of having tests to see why it’s not happening for me, which i thought would be the outcome but wanted to double check with a medical professional. The doctor said that i am young (32), healthy and because i have been pregnant before there is no medical reason why i shouldn’t get pregnant again and to come back in 3-6 months if it doesn’t happen for me, so back to the drawing board - ‘keep trying’ !!
Like most women I want a quick fix and for this to happen sooner rather than later, but it’s just not happening at all…
after the doctors appointment i told myself i would try and start being more positive and ‘relax and let it happen naturally, when the time is right, blah blah blah’ and all the other general advise that i hear on a daily basis from friends… i know most people don’t know the right thing to say and that is the normal things to say to someone in my position but it still doesn’t help me or make me feel any better about myself.
So i was just starting to feel better and more positive when my best friend texts me to tell me she is pregnant, she said that she planned to start trying in October / November last year and must have felt pregnant straight away ! I don’t want to sound like a complete bi**ch here but i just burst into tears and kept thinking - why isn’t this happening to me, what is wrong with me, it’s not fair that it happens for her straight away, after only trying for a 1 or 2 months (i don’t know exactly), all these feelings were going round in my head. OF course i am happy for her and wouldn’t wish what i am going through to happen to anybody else, i just couldn’t help feel envious of her.
So i told her how i feel as I kept thinking i don’t think i can be around here when she announces it to the world, our group of friends and even when strangers comment and offer their congratulations etc. We travel to work together on the train and i mentioned to her a while back that all i ever see lately are ladies around me with ’ baby on board’ badges on when travelling on public transport and it hurts, and i thought to myself i will be getting the train with my best friend (with her ‘baby on board’ badge every day and watch her grow bigger and listen to her talk about her scans and how she is feeling etc and i don’t think i can do it, i really don’t. I don’t want to fall out with my friend but i just don’t know what to do for the best?!
Has anybody been in this situation and can offer advise? i just feel so down and sad about it all and am struggling to put a brave face on.
thanks
Elizabeth
Hi Elizabeth,
It’s great your doctor is supportive and it seems she thinks you have just been unlucky. I found the same with the testing and have only just been offered them as I have now had 2 miscarriages and an ectopic but it’s a waiting game. I have to wait for a full cycle after the miscarriage and then I have to go back in my second cycle on day 2 of my period for the test, it will then take 14 weeks to get the results and then a further 4 for a follow up appointment so it’s beyond frustration as we are over a year into our TTC journey.
With regards to your best friends pregnant I can 100% relate. I have two friendship groups and one of each of my close friends is pregnant in those groups. My husbands best friend fell pregnant the first month trying and she’s a heavy drinker and smoker and I burst into tears when I found out. My sister is due to get married in December and one of her bridesmaids is pregnant so basically whatever plans I make, be it with my husbands friends, either of my friendship groups or wedding related plans there is someone pregnant and baby talk takes over so I found it really difficult. I am (like you say) happy for them, however, I wonder where the fairness in it all is and when my turn is going to come.
I have found being honest the best policy and sometimes just removing myself from the situation for a mini pep talk helps. It will get better I promise and you will hopefully have your own good news soon.
Take Care xx
It’s so hard isnt it… I lost my baby on 6th Jan this year due to ectopic and lost right tube, a few weeks later my sister-in-law announces her pregnancy. She found out the day I lost my baby and turns out we conceived at pretty much exactly the same time. I am so happy for her but also struggling every time she hits a milestone (scans etc) and as she grows I cant help thinking thats what I would be doing/looking like etc. I also feel bad for her as I want her to enjoy it and not have to tiptoe round my feelings.
We are trying again now and I am praying for our rainbow baby to come soon. We had been trying for 7 years when we conceived the baby we lost and the surgeon found lots of internal adhesions so said my chances are actually better now.
Sending love and positive vibes xx