1 miscarriage, 2 ectopic pregnancies and just broken

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I dont really know where to even start with this.

Myself and my husband have been trying to conceive for nearly 8 years now. When we started we were only 20 as I have PCOS so knew it would likely take a bit longer. Every appointment with doctors regarding our struggles to conceive were met with “you’re still young and there’s plenty of time so don’t worry about it yet”.

I finally fell pregnant in 2017, 2 and a bit years after first trying but that unfortunately ended in a miscarriage at 7 weeks.

After that we kept trying, went on fertility medication and were about to start looking in to IVF when I fell pregnant (september 2020). That unfortunately ended up being an ectopic pregnancy and had started to rupture resulting in emergency surgery to remove the pregnancy and my fallopian tube.

Again, doctors told me I was still young and had plenty of time and just because I’d lost one tube didn’t mean I wouldn’t be able to conceive again.

We decided to continue to try. In May 2022 I found that I was pregnant again. Im so annoyed at myself for believing that this time it would be different and for allowing myself to have that hope. I went in for early scans due to my history and at 6 weeks they discovered it was ectopic again. This time it was small enough they believed it could be treated with methotrexate. Three days after the treatment I was rushed in to hospital with severe pain and taken more or less immediately in to theatre as the pregnancy had began to rupture again. This time I lost my remaining fallopian tube.

It’s been 4 months and I’m still struggling to get my head around everything that has happened. I’m devastated, angry, bitter, mentally and physically exhausted, heartbroken and I think every emotion in between.

IVF is now our only option so please could anyone share their experiences with IVF, particularly in the UK how they found the process.

Sorry for the long rambling post and thanks in advance for your support.

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Dear Jamilla,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

I have personally never had IVF so I cannot offer a personal account but we have had ladies on these boards who go on to successfully conceive following IVF.

You have been through such a trauma and this can be difficult to process, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We also have support services, We can exchange emails as well as support on this forum. We also have telephone support and offer virtual group sessions. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

We have information below on how to contact us and on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

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