Hi All,
So my first pregnancy ended in a ruptured ectopic last may, i lost my right tube. It took us a very long time to conceive. We had tests after and there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong. We started to try again as soon as we could and initially i was optimistic but its been 8 months now and no luck. We are now due for the ivf clinic. I have found it very difficult being around pregnant women since and have managed to avoid those friends that have fallen pregnant (there are loads). However my sister is now pregnant with her first without even trying and ever since then i cant stop crying, am feeling angry and in great despair. I only want the best for her but i feel like i want to now stay away from my family as well because all their joy makes me feel even more despondent. I just feel like it may never happen for us and i cant cope. Its all I have ever wanted, why cant it be my turn?
Wishing you ladies all the best in your journey xx
Dear Nessie
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. Hearing about others’ pregnancies can be challenging. It is normal to feel happy for loved ones while feeling our own loss. Please be kind to yourself and if you need space please do take all the time you need.
Our love to you
Munira
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
hi nessie,
i’m feeling the same right now. i just found out 3 people are pregnant that i know! and one is one of my best friends who i work with everyday so there will be no escape. i’m happy for her but feel jealous and sad that i can’t have that too. i feel very unlucky and sometimes like i am cursed…
it’s hard, but i try to remind myself that it is not a competition and that my time should come. and perhaps my body is not fully recovered - mine was 7 months ago. i don’t feel totally emotionally recovered either.
i also try to think that when it does happen then all of this will have been in vain and so i should stop stressing! but also crying on my husband. buying new clothes and eating chocolate help… as does having other projects. i had my life on hold as i assumed i’d be pregnant and i’m not holding out anymore. i think that’s the best way to be anyway - if i had a baby i’d still have my own things going on too.
we can never know what the future holds, and we have to make the best of our lives, for ourselves. what has happened to us is totally horrible but we are on our own journey and i believe it will make us better parents in the end.
take care. i’m having a nice bubble bath tonight! x