Hi smford
Sorry to hear about what you are going through. It’s so painful. The same thing happened to me, just I’m 1 year ahead of you. My sister and I were both trying at the same time and were so excited about having a baby within months of each other. There are 2 years between us and we are very close.
I only joined this forum yesterday, not sure why it’s taken me so long. Think I was in denial that I needed it.
My ectopic was last March and my sister fell pregnant just after my tube was removed. My new niece was born 4 weeks ago. I think I have felt every emotion possible in the past year ! There has been a lot of tears, anger and a big argument that I wish never happened as it still hurts. I think the only people who can truly relate to what you are feeling and provide the support you need are those who have gone through it themselves and your partner.
My brother has 3 boys and my sister now has 3 girls. They are all under 5 years old, my husband and I can not wait to add to the grandchildren pot and we are positive it will happen.
There is something very special about being an Auntie before a mum, so I think you can take the positives of that. I love all my nieces and nephews so much and I get so excited when I think about what I will feel towards my own children.
You need to be strong for yourself and your sister through this. Your sister has a long journey ahead of her and you can support each other. It really doesn’t matter that you may not be having the first grandchild. Although I completely understand how you feel. My husbands sister is now trying too and the next baby will be the first grandchild on that side of the family.
You need to think about yours and your partners path and what you are doing and not anyone else’s. People falling pregnant around you will be difficult but it’ll make you a stronger compassionate person.
I know it seems so unbearably hard right now as your ectopic was so recent and now you have to deal with these extra emotions. But you will get through it by talking about how you are feeling and soon you will have some good news too xx