Yesterday one of my best friend said that her daughter is 9 weeks pregnant. I should be 16 weeks now:-( I did not want to think about what happened to me for weeks, because it hurts so much. But after learning about her pregnancy I feel sad and depressed again. I should be pregnant, too. Life is so cruel. At night I dreamed that a woman wanted to kill me. It was so real, when I woke up I could not fall asleep again for hours.
Hi Mano
I’m four weeks post laparoscopy after lossing my baby and right tube.
Since then two of my closest friends and a school parent have announced their expecting. I want to be happy for them but I just feel sad, jealous and angry. I should be 13 weeks pregnant now. But I just feel so empty.
I can completely see where your coming from and that your subconscious is trying to make sense of the mixed emotions you feel.
Life is cruel and it sucks that you can never no the answer to “why me”
Sending love.
Hi Sianus178,
I also lost my baby and my right tube as it was ruptured, I also had a laporoscopy surgery before Christmas. I am sorry that we have to go through this. I was so depressed for 2 weeks after it, that I did not want to get up from the bed. Then I stopped thinking of what happened to me, it was like a denial until now, as I did not want to feel this pain in my soul. But hearing about other people’s pregnanies, who I know, is cruel. I am 43, this was my first spontaneous pregnancy ever in 15 years, as I have fertility issues going on. I do not know if I will be ever pregnant again.
I try to stay positive and happy for my family, but I don’t know if the pain ever really goes away…
Sending love,
Mano
Dear mano,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It’s what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us “bad” people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
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Undeestand completely its been almoat 4 months since i had my op and it seems like everyone but me is.pregnant. i feel exactly the same. Xx
I know exactly how you all feel. I had my pregnancy and right tube removed on the 12th of December. Two of my friends are pregnant and due their babies the same week I was to be due mine. One of these said friends called to tell me her news after her 12 week scan (the same week I would have been due to have mine) She told me her news and left 5minutes after. I then didn’t see or hear from her for weeks so I called to her and she proceeded to tell me that I had really upset her by my reaction. My reaction was to ask her how she was feeling and I told her I had heard it the week previous from somebody else. I don’t know if she was expecting me to be jumping for joy for her. Maybe she saw the hurt in my face but it is hard to hide and I don’t know why people expect it not to hurt! That was in January and we have had no contact since. I keep telling my friends that I’m happy for them, which I truly am but I am sad for me and that’s ok 2 but unfortunately they don’t see it that way and think I’m a horrible person! I hope they never have to go through a pregnancy loss of any kind but I just wish people would try to understand a little bit more
Dear Lorna I am sorry that you also went through this:-( For me it has been 3 months. I had another nightmare, I dreamed that a woman gave me chocolate to eat but it had broken glass pieces in it and my mouth was bleeding. And I also dreamed that I had to climb up on a rope and it was torn and I fell on the floor. By now I don’t like falling asleep, I am afraid of a new nightmare.
Dear Brid,
I am sorry that you have to go through exactly the same thing that what happened to me. My right tube was removed with my baby on the 15th of December, so we had to go through the same thing with just 3 days difference:-( You are not terrible, what happened to us is terrible, and your friends should understand this, but as they are pregnant, they are also very emotional and sensitive because of the hormones. But I think it is better for you, if you avoid them right now, if it helps you, you have to do this. For me I just don’t understand, why my friend announced her daughter’s pregnancy, as the girl is only 9 weeks pregnant and lives in another continent.