Hello :roll:
I was getting ready for work when my partner noticed that my breasts had appeared to have grown enormously overnight. He asked if I was feeling well as I had been complaining of pain on my shoulder and abdomen for about a week, where I kept on saying that I must be coming on. I had also noticed during the week that I was spotting and was using pads to prevent any accidents. As I had irregular cycles I thought nothing that I might be pregnant when he said that I should get a pregnancy test. In denial and remembering that I had been feeling sickly on a few occasions I said that I would get a test. I work 40miles out of London and was driving along on the motorway when the abdomenal pain worsened where I felt cold and tired, I remember thinking that I could not turn back on myself and go home as I had assured a client that I would be in to work with him plus i was nearer to a hospital if the pain became unbearable. Anyway I managed to get a preg test in town and did the test as soon as I got into work. (POSITIVE) I was pregnant and shocked scared and in pain. I called my sister and told her the news who said that I should go to A&E. A member of staff saw me bent over in pain where I explained that I wasn’t well and had to get to a hospital. I drove myself to the town hospital and saw a midwife and explained that I had done a preg test that looked positive and showed it to her for comfirmation, I told her that i was in pain and bleeding. She said that I should go to A&E and offered to get an ambulance where i said that i thought i could make it in my car, so she gave me some pads and off i went back to london as the nearest A&E was another 15miles away. To cut a long long story short my partner and I went to A&E where a Doctor confirmed that I was pregnant and explained that some women have periods right throughout there pregnancy but to come back tomorrow for a scan. Shitting myself now as I didn’t know what to do or say as not really welcoming the news of a pregnancy and how to break this news to my parents. The next day we went to the hospital for a scan where no fetus could be seen only what appeared to be amniotic fluid. The doctor said that it might be an ectopic pregnancy. Examination after examination to eventually they said that my sgins and syptoms resembled that of ectopic pregnancy. They said that I would need to be admitted immediately as if it where an ectopic pregnancy it could rupture at anytime. I could’nt make sense of anything they where saying and just tried to concentrate on getting my mind off the pain. I remember medical staff wheeling me into theatre…and waking up in the middle of the night with a catheter and hearing fire works outside the hospital (New years). I called for the nurse who came immediately …i think i must have asked what happened to the baby because she said that i had an ectopic pregnancy and the pregnancy was no longer there. I remember also the nurse taking out the catheter and shortely afterwards a red mass followed…I asked what it was where she said…Darling I don’t know but thank god it is now out.
I must of cried a billion, trillion…tears and could not understand why I was crying. I felt embarrassed, angry and lonely and a total emotional reck as i struggled to come to terms with what had taken place. I can remember the medics telling me how quickly I was recovering, during the morning ward round the consultant gynae told be of the procedure, they told me i was 3 months pregnant, and had to excise the entire length of my tube due to how big the fetus was. Three years on we have come to terms with our loss…and planning our first child together. So many emotions that we experienced during that sad time has made us stronger and a wiser couple.
I am so ready & looking forward to being a mother. I did have hangups about the loss of our Angel and blamed myself for not being in tune with my body and for working too hard. Following the loss of our angel, I have found out that have polycystic ovaries where I am now getting treatment and have regular periods. I could have never written this last year. So top marks to me and thankyou for being patient and reading my story. Peace and Love xxxx Precious 