Dear Lianne_33,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
I completely understand you wanting to distract yourself after such an ordeal. A wedding is a huge undertaking at the best of times so don’t beat yourself up for struggling with the emotions and physically arranging everything after all you have been through. Do you have friends and family who would be able to help you to talk to or even with planning?
Although well meaning, my friends and family didn’t truly understand how I felt after my ectopic pregnancy and often said ‘I should be over it by now’.
My husband too, has since said he didn’t understand the whole feeling of loosing a baby as it was so early in the pregnancy. I don’t blame him for feeling this way as I understand at such an early stage they can be quite disconnected. I think that makes it difficult for them to truly understand how the loss of our babies impacts us.
Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need. I found comfort in reading others posts, it made me feel less alone I how I was feeling.
If you can, talk to your family about how you are feeling, if you feel you can go on with the wedding, ask for help. If it is too much right now, please tell those around you. It’s about being kind to yourself and allowing time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.
We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
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Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
