2015 has not been my favourite year to say the least. In February my husband and I started trying for our first. In March I found out I was pregnant and we were thrilled at how quickly it happened! Two months passed and just days before my 12 week scan things started to go wrong and I miscarried-it seemed so cruel.
We waited for my first period to return before trying and on the second month conceived again. This time there was no excitement just fear of the same thing happening again.
A week after my bfp I got a horrible pain in my left side, I even threw up with it. I went to my doctor and by the time I saw him I felt fine.
The next evening I began to spot so went back to my doctor and was referred to the EPU for an early scan the following week (I would have been six weeks). Before my scan I feared the worst that it was ectopic, I had all the signs but I just hoped for a normal miscarriage-things are bad when you’re hoping for a missed miscarriage!
I went for my scan and after looking at the screen in silence for what seemed like forever the sonographer confirmed the worst and I broke down, it was devastating.
So I had the operation that evening, they saved my tube (left one) because my right tube was badly damaged and blocked from an infection I had years ago. The hospital were amazing and my consultant explained that if I got pregnant it would need to be through the left tube as the right one was so bad from the infection but that IVF would probably be the only option.
It’s been just over a week since it all happened, I feel guilty that the infection I got has caused this-so it could have been avoided and I think it’s just hitting me that I’ve also lost a baby so I have random outbursts of tears.
I went back to the hospital yesterday for a check up and my hormone levels have dropped but are just shy of 2000 so I’m waiting to see if I need monitoring or if I need an injection.
It’s been a whirlwind of a week and I have good and bad days. I’m very scared and worried about the future and wonder if I’ll be able to have a family. I’m so grateful to my doctor for sending me for a scan and I’m so thankful to have had such dedicated and kind hospital staff take care of me because they really did make the whole experience that much easier.