Hi Everyone,
I’ve really wanted to share my story for a while now. I was once someone who constantly googled symptoms, looking for hope and eventually gave up hope and even though I read a lot of success stories, I began to realise that will never be me. I was wrong, after years of having the worst experiences, I eventually became pregnant… and it wasn’t ectopic!!
I had a baby at 18, she is now 14!! At 22 I found a new partner (still my partner) after 3 years together we began trying for a baby. I didn’t get pregnant at all for the first year and a half and became quite worried. After becoming pregnant for the first time since my daughter I was so happy. Straight after taking the test, I began to bleed. I was devastated. This happened 4 more times over the course of about a year. Then again, for the 6th time I began to experience pain in my right side. I knew, deep down in my gut it was ectopic. Everyone told me it wasn’t but I just knew!! The bleeding didn’t stop and the midwives and sonographers kept telling me it was just a miscarriage and I’ll stop bleeding eventually, after 4 weeks I still didn’t stop bleeding. I went back and demanded a consultant or a doctor perform the scan. Well, there it was, in my right tube. I was given methotrexate and it dissolved and I was fine. This happened again in my left tube, this time after the methotrexate it took a week to dissolve. Again in my left tube, two weeks to dissolve. Each time I had to demand a scan because I KNEW it was ectopic. They doctor literally begged me to take my left tube as this will just keep happening. I refused and would not let them take this from me. The next time, my left ruptured and had emergency surgery and they removed my left tube. The surgeon told me my tube was severely damaged and my right tube showed signs of slight damage. My possibilities of ever having a viable pregnancy vanished.
This all happened over the course of 5 years. I had miscarriages in between this too. After having the surgery I promised myself I will never get pregnant again. I couldn’t allow myself to experience the emotional and physical pain again. I lost hope. I read forums of miracles and women finally getting pregnant and I would finally realise this WOULD NEVER happen to me. I guess I was grateful for my beautiful daughter but it doesn’t make it easier. Especially for my partner who wanted a child so much and he never left me anyway. So after two years I never fell pregnant once. Until one day I felt strange. Dizzy and a bit sick. I knew I was due on my period and my periods are like clockwork! I decided to take a pregnancy test and there it was. Positive in all it glory. My heart dropped, and I almost passed out in fear. I marched myself straight up to EPU and as soon as I walked in they all recognised me, it was the same sonographer too. Even she said “ok let’s get this over with” I went in there knowing what was going to happen, same story, every time.
Well I’m telling you, it wasn’t the same story. The sonographer looked at me in amazement and it was in that moment I knew my baby was there. In the right place, heartbeat and everything. I sat in the chair and sobbed my heart out for an hour straight. Even the sonographer shed a tear. I knew from that moment my baby was ok, and I can finally say my baby is now almost two. My beautiful daughter, my miracle.
I gave up hope and I shouldn’t have. Because hope is everything! And my daughter is the reason I will never lose that again.
I really hope this story helps others and gives women with similar experience a reason to never let go.
Ectopics are awful and heartbreaking, but never lose your hope.
Frankie