Hi,
I have only just joined the group, but have read a fair few of the chats, so thanks. It’s nice to feel less ‘special’ that this has happened x
I am 37, and my other half is 41. We only tried to get pregnant this year, and it went pretty well to start with. We then miscarried naturally at 9,5 weeks. My other half took it harder than I did, I think. He had no idea of the statistics and thought that every single baby ‘made it to the end.’ We both decided that we’d cross our fingers and try again.
I won’t lie - as much as I tried to pin on a brave face, and be positive, I had moments over the next few months where I would suddenly cry or feel super sad. I work in Engineering and am surrounded by men, so it’s not the easiest environment to deal with this sort of event.
My other half works away with the navy. The last weekend he popped back, we caught again. I can e-mail him but he can’t reply (he’s away for months now). When my period was due, I was bleeding then not bleeding, bleeding then not bleeding. There was no real pain, just feelings similar to period pains. I wasn’t sure what was going on, and thought maybe it was a super early miscarriage again. I took a pregnancy test, which was positive. The first doctor told me that if I rested, I would be fine. I had a terrible night of sleep away on a work trip, and tried the doctors at home. They told me to go to A&E, who sent me to the EPU. Several hours later, I was prepped for surgery but the hormones had dropped enough for me to have the methotrexate injection, which worked. Given that I never had time to think any positive thoughts this time, the ectopic was all about me, and keeping my system in good state. According to the nurses, everything looks like it should. The thought that I hadn’t had any real pain, and that luck in a way got me to the right people, was sobering. A few slight tweak to the events, and the ending would have been worse. A scary thought!
My other half still doesn’t know, as I can only pass on good news, so I’ve kept a diary and will share it with him when he gets back. He will be gutted that he wasn’t here. It makes the ‘don’t get pregnant for 3 months’ bit easier though…
What I have found hardest is people saying things like, ‘well you went to zumba last Tuesday’ or ‘well you walked to Blackpool,’ or ‘well you work too hard.’ It seems that some people want to attribute why either happened to something that I do, and them saying such things makes me feel like I should quit the other bits of my life for this to be successful, leaving me with even less. I don’t think that women are meant to just sit there for a year to have a health child.
We will be trying again next year, as we both want children. It seems scary after what’s happened this year, but less scary than not trying again. I wish all of you all the best. xxxx