I’m 29 and have no children. I got pregnant last year after 2 years of trying for it to be Ectopic. I was treated with Methotrexate and discharged from the hospital around 6 weeks later. In January of this year we found out I was pregnant again when we saw the positive we were scared it was going to be another ectopic it’s a shame because the whole experience of finding our you’re pregnant isn’t a happy one for us anymore it’s been ruined by what has happened. I rang my local EPAU and they booked me in for when I was 6 weeks. After three scans in February yesterday they confirmed it was a blighted ovum were absolutely gutted for it to have gone wrong again we were so happy when they said it was a pregnancy in the uterus but yesterday they said that although the sac has formed for some reason the baby didn’t start to grow. I’m booked in for Monday morning to have the tablets to start the miscarriage off and I’m just so scared. My gut instinct is that it’s going to be really painful and heavy bleeding. Also I know it might sound stupid but I don’t take tablets well at the best of times and at the moment my anxiety is through the roof I’m worried I’m not going to be able to swallow the tablets and it’s all just a nightmare. I feel like such a failure for it to happen twice my body just can’t do what it’s supposed to do.
Hi Sunshinewalk88,
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve suffered these losses. It’s important for you to remember that there was nothing you did to cause nor nothing that could have prevented an ectopic pregnancy. Many women experience a mix of feelings and this can include grief, hurt at loss and anger. Trying not to blame yourself is important, as it is no fault of yours, and nothing sadly, could have been done from stopping the ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage from happening.
Often the precise reason for an ectopic pregnancy may never be known. Sadly there is nothing that can be done to guarantee that it will never happen again and it isn’t because of something you did or didn’t do. The chance of a subsequent ectopic pregnancy after a first is around 10 per cent and the chance does increase with each subsequent ectopic. Looking at this another way, there is a 90 per cent chance of the embryo being in the right place. I hope this can offer a degree of comfort.
I had very similar feeling following my losses, and with time, I managed not to feel them in the day to day. Please take all the time you need. We are here for you whenever you want to talk.
With good wishes,
Michele
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I just want to say that I am in the same boat and am consumed with despair. I had an ectopic in January and MC now. Had the DNC yesterday. Now moving hour by hour with hopes of feeling better one day. You are not alone. Sending love and prayers.
Oh I’m so sorry xx I truly am… I’ve just experienced something similar … my heart goes out to you … unfortunately there’s nothing we can do and it isn’t our thought but for some reason we are so hard on ourselves ! Sending so much love, light and healing to you and I’m so sorry this has happened xx