Have just moved over to this forum having been diagnosed as in the process of miscarriage
My Ectopic was in July 2010 and I was treated with Methotrexate. I am lucky to have a healthy son who was born in November 2006 so assumed baby number 2 would happen easily, how wrong could I be!
Found out I was pregnant after 2 months of trying, over xmas and was so happy and surprised. It took 8 months to conceive my son and 1 year for the ectopic so it was great to fall pregnant so quickly
I started brown spotting last Wednesday and was terrifed as that is how ectopic started. Had a scan at EPU they said I was 5 weeks (long cycles) and they saw a sac with a yolk sac inside where baby was growing (or rather supposed to grow ) I honestly believed it would be ok and prayed and prayed. I was booked in for 24th Jan for the next scan.
Unfortunately on the friday I started light fresh red bleeding with mild cramps which lasted 2 days then I have spotted ever since and now stopped bleeding completely. I begged the hospital to offer me HCG tests as I found it so difficult to wait until 24th Jan for the next scan and also (having posted on pregnancy forum on here) ectopic trust advised that I request HCG to completely rule out ectopic as it could have been a false sac in my utereus. HCG was done Monday and Wednesday and had dropped from 550 to 450
Just have to wait for the scan now to see if its complete etc. I am devestated and also feel its not over yet, my bleeding was not as heavy or as horrible as the ectopic one (after the methotrexate and also at the beginning when i lost the lining etc) I feel I am waiting for horrible cramps and clots etc to come out and I am scared and upset.
Can anyone advise on what to expect with miscarriage? Will I have to have a D&C? How long before can start to try again? Although at the minute I donât feel like it
The suggestions about when you can try again are different after miscarriage than they are after an ectopic pregnancy. From a physical point of view doctors suggest waiting until after the 1st proper menstrual period, and that wonât arrive until your hCG levels have been down for about 3 or 4 weeks. All the same how you feel emotionally about the loss and when you feel ready is really a very individual thing. Medically though one cycle is generally accepted as the normal advice.
A miscarriage is different for everyone, some are painful, some not, but as with any vaginal bleeding, so long as you arenât soaking a pad in less than an hour and your pain is manageable with over the counter pain relief all is considered OK.
The discharge itself should not smell offensively. The rule is if the smell is similar to the one you get when you pass a butchers shop all is well, if its like a fish shop, you may be developing an infection.
Many units prefer to manage a miscarriage expectantly, allowing it to happen naturally, some will offer what they call an ERPC but many prefer to avoid surgery and wait and see. Simply because itâs kinder on your body. However, if you feel youâd prefer a surgical procedure, then make that clear to you health care providers. I have chosen to manage miscarriages in both ways at different times and itâs always about whatâs felt right for me at the time.
Take care sweetheart and keep in touch here. Others will be along shortly
Really sorry youââŹâ˘re going through this. I just want to echo Izzie and say that every miscarriage is different. IââŹâ˘ve had a lot of miscarriages and every single one of them was different. With my last one, I bled just for a couple of hours and had a few clots but no cramps yet it was still complete. Others IââŹâ˘ve bled for a bit longer ââŹâ a couple of days up to about 10. Sometimes I had cramps and clots, sometimes I didnââŹâ˘t. Out of 8 miscarriages, IââŹâ˘ve only ever needed one D&C and that was after I miscarried without even knowing I was pregnant or had miscarried, and had just had what I thought was an extremely heavy period with a lot of clotting. So there is no rhyme or reason. A D&C sounds scary but itââŹâ˘s not that bad. Just a little uncomfortable.
I hope that this passes as quickly and as painlessly as possible for you. x
It makes sense that every miscarriage is different just as every pregnancy is different I suppose. I hadnât really thought about that, glad that you can advise me. I had assumed that as I have only bled lightly and had no pain that things would be ok
Even now I know its a confimed miscarriage I am still hoping its some kind of mistake and googling âany hope if HCG levels have fallen only slightlyâ What am I doing! !! I am sure after the scan on Monday I will stop such silly things!
To hear your stories makes me feel I must not complain. Having so many miscarriages after an ectopic must be devastating and my heart goes out to you both. I hope when we try again we have hope and good news and that others do too.
Having that hope still is so normal. I did it with my ectopic when I was bleeding and we thought it was a miscarriage. Because my hpts were still coming out strongly positive, every time I went to the hospital I couldnât help hoping it had been twins and one had survived. Itâs normal to hold on to hope.
Katie, youâve got every right to complain and to feel incredibly hard done by. My m/cs were before my ectopic and my ectopic was two and a half years ago now so Iâm well over it all. My pain was no worse than yours, this is happening to you at the moment, and this is your post and your place to be upset in.
Hi Katie, Iâm so sorry you are going through this I had an early mc beginning of December (ep July 2010) I wasnât in much pain and just bled about the same as a normal period, like you I hve long cycles so I wa only about 22dpo when i started to miscarry, by the time I had my bloods done they were very low (41) and dropped to 15 on my second one. Like bluetopaz said everyone is different. I waited for one cycle and am currently ttc now (I think I ovulate today in fact) I hope yu are doing ok and am sending you lots of love and support xxxxxx
Thanks again ladies, its such a help coming on here even though its not ectopic this time (weird but still terrified it is even though EPU have ruled it out for def!) It helps to talk and gets us through the healing process I think. My friends and family are really supportive but sometimes say things that offend even though they donât mean to. On here everyone has been in the same boat and can empathise fully.
Today I went out with my baby group and one of my best friends took me to one side and told me that she was 5 weeks pregnant. Poor love was terrified of telling me and I was pleased for her but very emotional and cried as I kept thinking âoh god we should be off on Maternity leave together, this canât be happening!â I gave her a hug and told her I was pleased she had confided in me (she has not told others) and glad she had told me first also that I was pleased for her and hoped all would go well.
Just got back home put Alfie to bed shut myself in the bathroom and sobbed! I love her and am genuinely pleased and wish her no ill thoughts but I am devastated how can I cope with watching her progress through her pregnancy when it should have been me too. Am sure these things are sent to test us but I am struggling with this one!
God, it never just rains, does it? I had a similar thing when I returned to work after my ectopic. One of my close friends in the office announced her pregnancy the day I returned and she was a week ahead of where I should have been. I found honesty was the best policy. I told her that I was happy for her but there may be times that I couldnââŹâ˘t face hearing about her pregnancy, seeing her scans, etc. She understood and was fine with it. I didnââŹâ˘t go to her baby shower as I couldnââŹâ˘t face it and she was fine with that. Have a chat with your friend and be completely honest. SheââŹâ˘ll have enough people to be excited for her and enough people who will want to see her scan pics. For your own sake, you need to be in control of how much involvement you have and if you have to back off from your friendship for the next x months sheââŹâ˘ll understand if sheââŹâ˘s a real friend. But also, remember that this is completely fresh for you and in a few weeks or months you might be feeling very differently. Play it by ear, one hour at a time. x
Thanks Bluetopaz, I agree, honesty probably is the best policy.
I am feeling a bit better now and am hoping that with time I can start to accept and share in my friends pregnancy. I am due back at work next week so I guess its back to normality, whatever that is! I have a very stressful job but work have been great and I am working half days for a bit to ease myself back in.
Think I may want to try again asap but also I keep telling myself that perhaps one child is my lot and that I should be greatful for this and forget about more children and that maybe nature is trying to tell me something. I think I am trying to protect myself incase it happens again. Will probably just go with the flow and see what happens instead of âactively tryingâ
I have a symptoms question. How long is it normal to bleed for after the miscarriage :oops: I only bled for 2/3 days when I miscarried (2 weeks ago) then it stopped then turned to brown spotting (sorry too much info!) I am still spotting but also keep having odd bouts of red bleeding on and off. I had a scan on Monday which confirmed complete miscarriage (they ruled out ectopic on previous scan which showed sac & yolk sac) I did a pregnancy test yesterday which was negative. I had assumed the bleeding would have stopped by now? Not sure if I will ovulate until the bleeding has stopped completely?
Itâs not uncommon to spot and bleed for up to six weeks after any pregnancy loss, so long as the bleeding is gradually becoming less and not more, thereâs no offensive smell and you feel well in yourself then all is OK. Some women spot and then have a proper period with no break in-between so you can expect anything really
Am getting there thanks. I go back to work tomorrow but just working half days to start with as I am still very emotional. I think its my friend being pregnant thats hurting the most. As mentioned in pervious posts I think I will have a word with her about scan photos etc. I am pleased for her really I am but I just canât face scan photoâs!!!
I have stopped bleeding now so just waiting for first period to arrive now I guess. Am going to buy some ovulation kits I think as I would like to narrow down the dates when we can actively try although I donât want to get too obsessed will try to go with the flow a bit, which for me is hard!
My son asked me last night if there was a baby in my tummy, that he wants one and why canât daddy put one in there. I felt like a knife had plunged through my heart
However later on when I told hubby and even joked that we donât seem to have a problem putting a baby in there but that they just donât seem to want to stay, either in the right place or at all :lol: Not sure if that is progress emotions wise! Maybe I am going mad!
Has it been a month for you now then? Are you using ovulation kits?
