I had an ectopic pregnancy in February this year, I had surgery on Feb 4th. We fell pregnant again in our first month of trying but this weekend I have suffered a miscarriage. It’s awful as I’m sure everyone on this thread knows We were so happy to be pregnant again and I was quite sure the baby was in the right place this time as my symptoms were a lot stronger than last time. I had a scan yesterday, nothing could be seen in the uterus and they could see the blood flow from the uterus, they couldn’t confim miscarriage as it was early days but yesterday afternoon I took another pg test which had returned to not pregnant They could confirm it was in the uterus though which I am glad of but we’re so devastated. What are other people’s experiences? Is there anyone who has suffered an ectopic, then miscarriage then gone on to have a normal pregnancy?
I am so sorry this has happened. Two losses in such a short time is devastating. Unfortunately, miscarriage is very common - Of 100 women who conceive today, up to 33 of them will lose their pregnancy to miscarriage by 12 weeks - that’s how prevalent miscarriage is Miscarriage happens for lots of reasons and it’s usually because there’s something gone wrong with the conception process but all that is very small comfort I know, I too have a history of miscarriage and the facts and figures really don’t help so much do they.
The important thing now is to heal, allow your body and mind to heal, to grieve for your losses and allow your immune system which is always altered in pregnancy to recover and become robust enough to sustain a new pregnancy. We suggest waiting for at least 3 months after an ectopic pregnancy for these processes to occur and for some of us, the emotional stuff can take a little longer.
There is really no reason you cannot go on to have a healthy baby - miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy aren’t actually linked in any way as far as the research can tell and in all likelihood this loss was just very sad, bad luck. So let yourself heal. Look at some of the changes you can make over the next few weeks for your own health and that of another pregnancy, grieve for the babies you have lost, and in time, when it feels right, try again, in the knowledge that there’s every chance, next time will be OK
Thank you Izzie for your reply. I didn’t realise how common miscarriage was untill I started doing a lot of reading/research after my ep. When I fell pregnant this time my first worry was that it could be another ep then my 2nd worry was if it wasn’t an ep it could easily end in miscarriage. In a weird way I was prepared for something to go wrong. It’s still a shock when it actually happens though. Do I count the first day of my miscarriage bleed as a period or shoud I expect my period still? I have stopped bleeding, it didn’t even last 2 days, which is actually about normal for me as far as AF length normally is.
I know you’ve had lots of great support from people over on the TTC board but I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts too are with you at the moment. I’ve been reading these boards frequently since my EP back in March and have seen your posts and really hoped things would work out well for you. I thought of you over the weekend which is strange as we don’t know one another -but I guess that is one of the many great things about these boards, all of us poor EP girlies are like a little network and look out for one another! I was very sad to hear your news but glad to hear you are physically ok and not in pain.
Thank you for your message, I’m so glad of all the support on here, it’s a completely different world and I’m so thankful for it I know what you mean about how we don’t know each other but we do at the same time! I think of you all and just hope that you all get your BFP’s. I’m doing ok, physically I’m well, it was just like a normal period, very mild and no pain so in a way I feel very lucky if you can understand that. It’s just so different to my ectopic. I was in awful pain physically and emotionally and both pains lasted for a long time. This is just so completely different. We are obviously very sad but I’m feeling a lot better already this time. Cried a lot over the weekend but I’m feeling much stronger today. Hope you’re doing well…I will be joining you all again at some point over on the TTC thread, I don’t know when but I’ll be keeping my eye out for BFP’s in the meantime. xx
I know what you mean about ‘expecting’ things to go wrong, it’s not surprising really is it? We base our expectations on our experience and if the experience we have is grief and loss, that’s what we expect but doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
The bleed you have when you miscarry isn’t a period. It’s the loss of the lining of the uterus which had thickened in response to the pregnancy hormones and signifies an end to the pregnancy rather than a period. Your period can arrive at any point between 3 and 6 weeks after you stop bleeding from the miscarriage. I hope that helps
Gentle hugs and hang in there. Even though this is sad and distressing it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you - you’ve just had to face some incredibly bad luck. No one can make any promises, of course, but next time, statistically, the odds are very much in favour of something other than coping with loss.
Thank you for your reply Izzie, you’re so helpful.
Can I ask something else? What is the normal preocedure after a miscarriage? The midwife helping me out this time is being quite vague with me. I had a scan booked in 2 weeks time to check the baby and I was going to cancel it but the midwife has told me to keep it seeing as it’s booked so they can check if there is any tissue left over. I explained to her that I’d rather have the scan sooner rather than later if that was ok as I’d rather this just be all over this week. She said no. Do people normally have to wait this long for a scan to check everything is gone? The last thing I want right now is having to end up having a d&c in 2 weeks time, I just don’t want this process to pull me down. Is it worth my while talking to another midwife or is this just the way it is?
I’m I right in thinking that I won’t ovulate between my miscarry bleed and my next period?
Shellise normally if you miscarry naturally you don’t get a follow up scan!! I think that is why your mw said no. I was told once I got a negative test result that mean I was in the clear but then I had a d and c. I know when i ovulate and I did ovulate inbeteren miscarry bleed and period but it took 5 weeks and 3 days to get my period. I then fell pregnant with my current pregnancyafter my first period.
Emotionally and physically I was fine after d and c I new something was not right so we had said we will continue to try and if it happened then so be it and it did first month.
Thanks Louise Midwife got back to me today and they do want me to come in for a follow up scan. The care we get here is brilliant, I just didn’t want to drag the process out for another 2 weeks. Waw that’s brillinat you fell pregnant so fats after your miscarriage…gives me hope Goodluck for your scan…thinking of you, xx
After your miscarry bleed, you will ovulate before you have another period. It can however take a while for your hCG levels to drop after a miscarriage, so ovulation doesn’t necessarily occur quickly after your bleed. In your case though, if I remember correctly, you had a negative HPT, and so you’re likely to ovulate within a few weeks.
I’m glad your MW is looking after you, and hope that the scan can give you some confidence that your body is getting back to normal after your miscarriage.
Thank you Epthost 11. I’ve just had a call from the hospital and they don’t want to see me anymore, my levels have dropped to almost 0. Can’t believe it’s all over again, x
We were so happy to be pregnant again and I was quite sure the baby was in the right place this time as my symptoms were a lot stronger than last time. I had a scan yesterday, nothing could be seen in the uterus and they could see the blood flow from the uterus, they couldn’t confim miscarriage as it was early days but yesterday afternoon I took another pg test which had returned to not pregnant 
I know what you mean about how we don’t know each other but we do at the same time! I think of you all and just hope that you all get your BFP’s. I’m doing ok, physically I’m well, it was just like a normal period, very mild and no pain so in a way I feel very lucky if you can understand that. It’s just so different to my ectopic. I was in awful pain physically and emotionally and both pains lasted for a long time. This is just so completely different. We are obviously very sad but I’m feeling a lot better already this time. Cried a lot over the weekend but I’m feeling much stronger today. Hope you’re doing well…I will be joining you all again at some point over on the TTC thread, I don’t know when but I’ll be keeping my eye out for BFP’s in the meantime. xx