I am sitting at home upset as I took a pregnancy test on Sunday which was positive (following an ectopic last Dec and a miscarriage in March) and am now 5 weeks but am suffering bleeding and cramping so I am pretty sure I am miscarrying. I have been really trying to stay positive in the last 6 months after the ectopic but it is so difficult and the specialists tell me to just keep trying as we obviously have no problems conceiving but losing the pregnancies is breaking my heart. Does anyone have any good stories for me from similar situations just to try and put my mind at rest?
I’m so sorry to hear you are having a really tough time - my heart goes out to you. It is absolutely devastating to lose a pregnancy. And I’m sure it doesn’t help to be told to try again when the impact of a loss is so tough.
I just wanted to ask whether you have been seen by a doctor for this pregnancy? When women have previously had an ectopic, we always advise that after any positive pregnancy test they see a doctor who can check that it is not ectopic again. If you haven’t see a doctor, please do seek advice soon - many hospitals have an Early Pregnancy Unit where you can self-refer or you could see your GP. I am not trying to alarm you, please don’t panic, but with our histories we need to make sure these things are ruled out. Equally, if you feel strange in any way or feel like your symptoms are changing or deteriorating, please go to a hospital or get medical attention asap.
It is such a horrible thing to go through an ectopic and miscarriage. Please do be kind to yourself - take each day as it comes and please don’t put any pressure on yourself. There is a physical and an emotional process which we all go through after losing a pregnancy and both take time. It is perhaps easier said than done, but please try to give yourself that time. Then, when you are ready, you may find it comforting to read the stories on these boards from people who have been through ectopic pregnancies, miscarriages and sometimes both and gone on to have healthy babies. There are many such stories and we hear from lots of women who have come out the “other side” with a happy ending.
Finally, I found some strength in reading the book “Small Sparks of Life” by Lysanne Sizoo. She experienced an ectopic and miscarriage and also had a baby. It is perhaps not for now, but it may be of help in the future.
I just wanted to offer my words of support to you, too. I had an ectopic pregnancy followed by a miscarriage too and it is such a blow. I so feel for you and you have my shoulder to lean on too during these difficult days.
I hope you don’t mind my sharing but after my losses, I was fortunate to conceive successfully. I hope that this can offer a glimmer of hope during such hard times. I understand how it is so incredibly difficult to see through the tears now and, as a friend reaching out a hand in support, please do look after yourself, (echoing Bethan’s words) do speak to your medical professionals and know that we are right here by your side for as long as you need.
Sending you lots of love
Munira
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk. Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
Thank you both so much for your words of support. I have seen the doctor and I definitely miscarried my 3rd pregnancy. I am feeling much more positive now than I have in the last 6 months and am seeing the specialist on Friday to see if there is anything more I can do (maybe take progesterone or aspirin). Myself and my husband have both given up alcohol and are staying very healthy to give ourselves the best chance of success!! Keep your fingers crossed
im in the same boat hun, ep 2010, mmc 2011 and mc 2014 the doctor is now sending me for investigation for reoccurring pregnancy loss.
I know its hard but hopefully the docs will find somthing to help us both finally have out babies and thats the hope I hold on to but I also keep myself really busy I’ve just finished my degree and am starting a masters in sept both I never thought I would do as I thought I would be knee deep in childrean by now
Just look after urself and give urself time to greave
I read that when after my second loss it helped me things in to perspective that it wasn’t just me on a weird way
well I didnt have the tests as i found out i was pregnant again, I had my 12 week scan today and everything is as it should be so now beginning to believe that its forth time lucky
I hope ur tests results will be in soon and get ur rainbow baby soon
I am so happy to read that you are 12 weeks pregnant and that everything is ok.
I remember seeing all your posts and I also had a missed miscarriage in August after an ectopic a year before. Reading that you are healthily pregnant gives me some hope as we have started trying again this month.
I hope everything goes well and that you are able to enjoy this pregnancy.
so now beginning to believe that its forth time lucky