Hi to all, I used to be a frequent member to this board, and I still am a ‘member’ of this board as I’m living the life without sproglets.
Just wanted to say hello to all the oldies, and hello to all the newbies… and to acknowledge it can be a pretty dire place to be upon discovering you may have to live your life without kids, and without wanting to sound blase about it all, time really is a good healer, although you never, ever forget the pain. The thing I have struggled with the most is that it’s still seen as a ‘taboo’ subject not being able to have kids, and that upon hearing my ‘situation’ people are quick to offer ‘solutions’ - I am not broken and I don’t require fixing thank you, although it would have been nice to have a personal plumber sort the old tubage out down below! :mrgreen:
I have decided to grow old disgracefully and am having a lot of fun in doing so, and I also try and think of the benefits of not having sproglets - I can have a lie in at the weekend (if the husband doesn’t forget to turn his alarm off), I can go on holidays out of season (provided the weather is ok) and I can ride a motorbike with wild abandon (despite the wonderful what appears to be permanent rainy season we experience in the UK)!!
I hope everyone is doing ok out there, and if you are having a difficult time at the moment, my thoughts are with you… although this board may not be frequented much believe me, you are not on your own.
Sending my love & best wishes to all, wherever you are in your journey.
Yep, you’re a very honoured member of this board, oh ancient venerable one!
The whole taboo thing is such an issue, isn’t it? I hate that it’s taboo myself - but on the other hand, I don’t make a point of discussing it with people either, as it is such a sensitive subject, and as you say, people can hurt us with stupid comments so easily. I’m thinking that some of this will be the topic of my November project (nudge nudge wink wink). But also, I hate that when it becomes “public” it can define us … you know, "Linda-who-can’t-have-kids rather than simply “Linda.” I just posted something on my blog (argh, yes, I admit it - I live on the internet!) about infertility the other day, and almost instantly one of my friends emailed me with a link to an infertility book. Ok, it does sound interesting, but I bristled at the thought that she might be defining me by that, rather than “Linda-who-doesn’t-have-kids” or better still, “Linda-who-is-such-an-interesting-and-brilliant-and-funny-writer.”
Fortunately, since I’m such an old duck, I don’t get people offering “solutions.” I can’t imagine what I’d say if people did - I think I’d want to slap them!
And you’re right - no-one who needs to frequent this board is alone. We swarm in when we’re needed! Or just when there’s a chance to talk (ok, maybe that’s just me!). And it is a good life too. I’m not a hoon on a motorcycle but I did have a lovely long lunch today with a friend when most women my age were struggling to cope with school holidays, juggling kids and jobs etc. And I’m going to go pour myself a nice glass of wine soon, because it’s Friday afternoon and I don’t have to be sober when the kids come home :shock: , and I will DEFINITELY be sleeping in tomorrow morning! I’m also trying to see if I can get a holiday in the UK sometime in the next few months (have a free ticket, but getting dates is easier said than done), but I couldn’t do that if I had kids either.
Love and hugs, lovely Lamb, who was also with me right through my 2001/02/03 horror here. I love that you’re still with me through our “growing old disgracefully” days too!! (One day, you’ll come be disgraceful in NZ too, I hope?)
I haven’t visited this site much over the past few years, but have recently been drawn back here for support.
I just wanted to say how nice it was to see all your familiar names still on here, the names that were a great help and support to me during my 2002 and 2003 EP’s (it really made me smile)
, clearly great minds think alike!
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