Just wanted to post something on this board so that i feel my journey is complete, so to speak.
I was pregnant for a short time some 5 years ago. We had three failed IVF treatments, had polyps removed blah blah blah. We were almost at the end of our adoption application in January 2012 before we made that final decision that we would live our life without children - childfree is my preferred terminology
I am actually very OK with this decision and am very much looking forward to living my life without this cloud of infertility hanging over me.
Thanks for listening and love and light to you all
Goodbye EP.org, you have been a godsend for the last 5 years but its time to say goodbye forever as I move onto the next phase of my life
Sam, I donât know if youâll read this, but I just wanted to send you my warmest wishes, I also decided to âgo childfreeâ, this was about a decade ago now, crikey how time flies! Donât forget that you can still off load here, I know this board is not used muchâŚbut that just shows how weâre all getting on with life :)!
However itâs also a safe place to share things that maybe not many other people you may know âgetâ.
Sarahg is right, as usual. She was my godsend when I was here in real distress so many years ago.
Iâm glad youâre okay with your decision, and looking forward to actually living your life now, without the 24-7 thoughts of infertility that are so hard to escape from. My advice - after 8 1/2 years of living childfree after loss/infertility - is to take the advantages of this life with no kids, and appreciate them to the fullest. Donât ever feel guilty about doing that - it took me a while not to feel guilty. I questioned myself - âif I was feeling happy and enjoying my no-kidding life, did that mean I wasnât grieving what I didnât have, what I had lost, what I would never have?â I think these questions are normal - I recently had a piece published (on a well-known on-line magazine, not sure if I can say its name as it isnât on the Links list, but it has been described as the most powerful blog in the world by The Guardian) about exactly this, and discovered that people who had other losses also felt the same. The site entitled it âWas I grieving enough?â whereas I had been thinking something along the lines of âI choose to be happyâ or âThe Secret to Happiness âŚâ which shows my perspective much more clearly!! Because, even though so many women here think that their worst nightmare is to end up like us, I think we can and do live happy and fulfilled lives.
So go out there and enjoy. But if you ever need an ear, weâre here. Or even check in from time to time to let others know youâre doing fine. Iâve had a lot of feedback over the years that the other users of the site here find comfort seeing that we are okay. And Iâll be thinking of you too.
Sam xxx