Hi all has been 4 weeks today scince my ectopic and left tube removed i was back to work a fortight later and with a 3 year old to run about after was even surprising myself how well I was coping untill yesterday, I’ve just completely broken down scince and don’t know how I’ll ever stop my heart from breaking, my partner who was amazing is just so difficult to talk to now I feel like it’s brushed under the carpet and forgotten, Monday should be our 12 week scan and I can’t help dwelling on how different things should be I can’t bear to be near anyone pregnant talk about it or see any one with babies and I hate myself for it, we had had difficulty getting pregnant and I was on Clomid, i feel like I will never fall pregnant again I’m just devastated, sorry for essay needed it all off my chest xx
Hi,
I’m sorry to hear that. I know exactly how your feeling I feel all those emotions too. I thought I was the only one rat felt those emotions. We all support each other!
Hey thabkyou for taking the time to reply ! Today is a better day and in much better spirits I guess we really do have to take each day as it comes with our emotions! Big hugs to you too xxx
Dear Gina1688,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Please be kind to yourself as in general most women should be able to return to work from a physical point of view after six weeks. Many women, however need to take more time off to help them deal with the psychological (emotional) impact of the loss of their baby and the frightening experience they felt being diagnosed with and treated for an ectopic pregnancy.
If you have to return to work, we would suggest avoiding a rapid return to strenuous activities as it is important to build up strength after recovery. A few options may be available depending on your role: might there be an opportunity to work reduced hours, increasing them slowly over a few weeks? Perhaps there are certain tasks that you could take on which may entail a change from your usual role or a series of reduced tasks initially? I am not sure whether this is appropriate in your circumstances, but is there anything that you could action from home?
We advise you should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
We are all here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
Hi just read your original message and I just want to say embrace the bad days, use them to talk about it, please do not bottle it up! I’d go as far as talking to someone professional
I lost my right tube back in the beginning of march and same as you came home had a 2 year old to look after and was back in work 4 days after my op (I’m self employed and needed the cash).
I was told by my in laws to deal with it it’s happened now, every time I mentioned it it was like everyone around me cringed!! So I got pregnant again three months after and it was a huge… distraction from what I was feeling. I felt like I was loosing the plot! So many thoughts going through my mind.
Now I am 30 weeks pregnant and yesterday had a day from hell. My bil’s gf sent me a pretty nasty text after I didn’t stop to talk to her outside the local shop. It was raining and my son was dropping sweets all over the floor and eating them, and I was flustered and wanted to get to the car and go home!! She accused me of ignoring her baby (she was pg when I had my op) and being nasty to her other kids as they wanted to see my boy! Baring in mind that she didn’t as much as text me when I was in hospital, I had a quick phone call the day after I came home and has never really acknowledged my now pregnancy! I said I had beef with her back then and got over it and moved on but did say to her on the phone how let down I felt back then. Anyway we called it truce but it was like the wound had been opened again. I spent the whole day crying. It has left me wondering when will it all stop!
Anyway sorry to go on, I just feel fustrated that I take a step forward and take about 5 back!!