Hi Everyone,
Found this site in Nov. when I had my EP & metho shot on 11/18.
Here’s my story. Started TTC in Jan. 2005 w/no luck for awhile. Discovered had some tubal blockage in both tubes. Had a laparoscopy & everything looked fine, but Dr. said to just do IVF anyway. Got pregnant immediately in Feb.'06 with TWINS! Happy! Then, at 18W scan, found out we had lost one of the twins. So sad, but so thankful to be still carrying our little boy. It was a boy!!! We decided to carry on with grace & were anxiously expecting his arrival in the fall of '06. Counting the days. Nursery was perfect. Chose the perfect name for him.
Things went terribly wrong. I lost our little boy, stillborn at about 6 1/2 months in August '06. Grief beyond words. Cannot even talk about that day.
Took a year to recover emotionally/physically. Felt older by the minute. Had a procedure this Sept. '07 to attempt a natural pregnancy. Things looked really good during this specialized HSG. Both tubes opened up so easily! Had hope again. We started TTC for a pregnancy on our own in Oct. Pregnant in Oct. at 37! OPKs are so wonderful! Was SO HAPPY.
Joy was short lived. Started spotting, something wrong, scan at 6 wks, nothing in the uterus, slow rising/odd/non-doubling HCG levels, etc. Feeling of terror. You now the rest. Nothing ever was seen in the uterus or the tubes, but #s were low (400s) so probably couldn’t see anything anywhere with those #s. Metho shot on 11/18. The postiive side is that the metho worked, & I didn’t have a rupture or tubal loss. Glad for that. Caught it very early. Got a neg. result by December 10. So sad again. Sad holidays again this year. But I have both tubes, and they seemed fine before the EP. My dr. wants me to do another HSG to check status of tubes toward the end of the 3 month wait.
Now, I’m in the 3 month wait before TTC again. Taking LOTS of folic acid & reading everyone’s stories here. Thank goodness for this site. I felt SO alone until now. Now I feel like I have far away friends who really understand. My DH is wonderful, but we didn’t tell anyone about what happened. I just couldn’t deal with it, but it’s hard not having anyone to talk to. I’m terrified about the future, but the information & stats seem to suggest we may have the odds in our favor. Although I know we must be cautious.
I have been in the background for a while now. I’m sorry for what everyone has been through. But, I have been so happy when I have logged on & seen good first scan news -for Wally, Hope4joy, hopeful, readingjosie, KateG, jenfa, etc. So many happy results lately. Each time I feel hopeful & excited for all of you who have had some well deserved good news. It’s like a triumph for all of us, because we all know how much courage it takes to try again, & how much a happy ending means. I smile when I read the posts from those who are expecting. I remember being pregnant. What an adventure!
I wish everyone happy stories in 2008. Good luck & thanks for letting me join. Everyone here is so nice. I don’t feel alone anymore, I feel more hopeful. Like maybe there’s a chance in the future.
Sorry this was so long. I guess that’s the first time I’ve ever had a forum to talk about the last 3 years. My future posts will be much more brief!
Thanks everyone.