I feel so alone

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I was on birth control. I wasn’t trying to get pregnant. I thought I was just having really bad cramps. Until I couldn’t walk without assistance. I live in America where our health care system is in dire need of an overhaul, so despite my need to go to the ER, I waited for an appointment the next day. It still feels like it can’t be real.

When the doctor told me I was pregnant I went into shock, and went through the day hopping around the hospital for tests and what not, until ultimately I received the injections. My boyfriend left me at the hospital to go to class. I still can’t believe it. He told me he had to handle his obligations.

My levels are going up and I can feel my hormones raging. I really don’t want to do another round of injections or surgery. But, I’ve been in pain now for nearly a week. I’ve missed a lot of work and my job is in jeopardy. The medical bills put me into a ton of debt. My boyfriend and I have been fighting like crazy. And I just feel physically and emotionally broken. I don’t know what to do and I feel so alone.

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Dear Stateside22,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, you are going through a very difficult time emotionally and I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy and loss we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

We are a UK based charity so sadly I cannot comment on US practice, however following methotrexate injection, you should be having regular blood tests to ensure you hCG levels are reducing. If this is not happening, I would have a review with your doctor. Whilst we can experience pain following the injection, if it is worsening or you feel unwell, please seek urgent medical advice. We also advise that you do not complete any heavy lifting or housework whilst your levels are reducing as there is a risk of rupture with declining levels.

I am so sorry you feel so alone, it is such a difficult time. Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. I know you are in America but we can exchange emails. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

Alternatively are there any charities in America that maybe able to help you with your emotions and to provide support?

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

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Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team